The Testimony Tour: When Knowing about Jesus Just Isn’t Enough
Thank you so much for joining us on the Testimony Tour! If you missed Carmen Brown’s testimony yesterday(the beauty who writes over at Married by Grace), you can check it out here. It’s powerful and speaks to the heart of the many women who have reached out in love and given everything they have to save their man and their marriage. What she learned is far bigger than anything she could have imagined.
My Testimony
Freedom and victory weren’t always a part of my story.
You see, I knew about Jesus. Every memory I possess holds a piece of Him. There was a subconscious sensing of His presence in the day-to-day.
Never, not even for a moment, did I doubt. The conviction of His existence somehow never wavered.
It sounds good, doesn’t it?
Yet a vital piece of my faith was missing. A piece I needed in order to experience freedom. Without it I couldn’t grasp the redeeming love of Christ or the power in His name.
Without it, I couldn’t live fully free.
I didn’t know the cross wasn’t only about the victory over death giving us eternal life. I didn’t know there was great victory available to us on this side of the cross, too.
Do you know about the victory available on THIS side of the cross? #testimonytour #howGodsavedme #hope #ChosenandWorthy Share on XAt some point in my later teen years, I began drifting. I believed, honored, and revered the Lord as my Savior. But a Savior residing in Heaven living apart from me. Not a Savior actively engaged in the day-to-day of my life.
Not as One who longs to dwell in me and be in relationship with me.
That way of thinking lead me down paths of destruction and pain.
Because when we don’t embrace Jesus as One who is with us in our every moment, we tend to think we are doing this life thing on our own. We take over and run it as we wish. Then, in our humanity, we lose our way.
Our frailty causes a crumbling and our brokenness surfaces giving way to actions born out of feelings that deceive us.
In those years, my past haunted me, the here-and-now pained me, and the future scared me. I dragged the heavy weight of insecurity into life-altering choices. With them only bringing more pain and, in turn, an increasing sense of worthlessness. It was a season of confusion and emptiness.
I lived in search of being “something” because inside I felt like “nothing”.
Striving, searching, seeking.
Relentlessly in pursuit of validation, I held onto the hope of that one person who could grant me worthiness.
Instead, betrayal and rejection flooded my life.
Maybe, if I could do better. If I could be a better athlete, smarter in school, thinner, prettier, more creative, or simply be a better human being, then I’d be lovable.
I’d be worthy.
I became an overachiever giving 110% to every aspect of my life. However, the more I accomplished, the less the achievements actually mattered. I couldn’t accomplish enough to fulfill the need within my soul.
A vicious cycle evolved pushing me into a deep sadness. The harder I tried, the more my sense of worth plummeted.
Today I see it through a different lens. I see the betrayal, the search for love, and the abuse. I recognize what I was searching for. As I dealt with life threatening illnesses and a heart shattered into a million pieces, I longed for the filling of the deepest hole in my heart.
I often wonder how that life was mine. Such a story of pain and dysfunction, yet a story I would never change because without it I would not have experienced the power of God’s redeeming love.
Because, friends, today I am changed. I am made new.
Through those years Christ was there with me waiting ever so patiently. Waiting for me to fully give Him my life so He could stop all the madness and show me that He alone is the only one from whom my worth could ever come. Through Him I could be made whole. But I needed to look at Him differently. To know Him, not just know about Him. I needed to see Him as here with me. In me.
And I needed to pursue that relationship.
Knowing about Him and knowing Him make all the difference! #TestimonyTour #ChosenandWorthy #Hope Share on XIt took the sending of a warrior into my life. I’d found my way back to Him in my actions while pursuing Him and His Word. I engaged in a church community. They were all the right steps toward freedom. Yet, even with all the right steps, there was a part of me still unfilled. A part of me yet to embrace the fullness of Christ.
And one day in the depths of an enemy attack leaving me in a pit of depression, my warrior came alongside me and spoke Truth in a way I’d never heard before.
A way that, bit by bit, took apart the love story God has breathed for us. Every detail in the Bible that tells us of God’s relentless pursuit of His people. His relentless pursuit of our hearts. Of a story leading to the ultimate sacrifice all in the name of love. For us. Because we are worthy just as we are. Forgiveness wipes the slate clean. Redemption means to make us new leaving the past behind and stepping forward clothed in His righteousness.
I finally got it. I peeled away the final layer from my heart, laid it bare before God, and realized I’d found safety.
Finally, the deepest places of that hole in my heart were filled. Not by people, achievement, or approval.
But simply by the unfailing love of a patient yet relentless God.
It was when freedom found me. And I faced each day as a new person set apart, created with purpose, worthy, and victorious.
How about you, my friend? Are you ready to know more about His relentless pursuit of you? Are you ready to peel away the layers from your heart and lay it bare before Him?
Now be sure to jump back on the Testimony Tour bus and join me here as my friend, Jami Wiebel, shares her story of coming to know Christ! Each of the 10 testimonies along the tour will not only encourage you, but ultimately could end up being the tool you need to share your faith with another. Someone who has yet to experience the love and redeeming grace of a God who never lets go.
You can also visit the rest of the Tour by visiting the links
below!
Day One
Milk and Honey Faith – Married By His Grace
Day Two
Searching For Moments – Seeking God with Jaime Wiebel
Day Three
Simply For One – Cord of 6
Day Four
VeronicaAnne – Shannon
Geurin
Day Five
Friends With God – Flourishing Today
Before you go… Could you use some real HOPE today??
I’ve created the 5-Day Hope Toolkit: Claiming the Victory of a Hope-filled Life just for you!
(Get it here) I’ve designed it so that it breaks these 5 strategies down into manageable pieces.
In it, you will receive a 5-day series of Scripture prayers giving you a solid foundation in how to pray God’s Will through praying His Word. You will also receive:
- A checklist to determine whether you have a hopeful or hopeless attitude.
- A beautiful printable image with positive “I am ….” statements of truth.
- A list of my go-to books, blogs, and websites when I am in need of encouragement.
To get to your 5-Day Hope Toolkit, click HERE!
His heart for us is so much more than we can even imagine. I too struggled with not feeling worthy enough to be called His. I love how you go into the detail about the process of surrender and how it takes time. Your testimony is one of beauty. Thank you for sharing Lori! It is such a blessing to know you 🙂
TNatalie, Thank you so very much for hosting the #TestimonyTour! For bringing this community of writers together and for pointing to Jesus with all you’ve got! You are a blessing ♥
A “patient yet relentless God”. I love that phrase. It describes our God so beautifully. Thank you for sharing your testimony, Lori. I was blessed by your words.
Thank you, Dawn! As I was writing that, it struck me how we tend to think of people who are patient as not as “aggressive” or “active”. Almost as if they are willing to sit back and let things go. But our God is most definitely not that! He is both patient, but never gives up and keeps actively pursuing us!
Thanks so much for stopping by ♥
Oh, Lori, I could relate to so much of your story. I believed God loved me but somehow I didn’t feel loved unless I was doing life right and even then I was full of uncertainty and anxiety. How He uses a crisis to pull us close and allow us to feel His loving presence in the daily. Thanks for sharing this beautiful truth and pointing us to Jesus!
It’s that working for worth thing that always wants to slither back into our lives. I’m so thankful for all the work He has done in BOTH of us! ♥
Awww…Lori, I just love your heart! Especially for how much it loves God. You are so beautiful and such a blessing to me. Your testimony is a great testimony to me because I would have never known this is what you had once dealt with. Just know your Freedom in His Grace shows!!
Thank you, Carmen! Your words blessed me immensely. And your friendship even more ♥
Oh, dear friend, You are my soul sister! I relate to your testimony so much. “Relentlessly in pursuit of validation” describes so much of my life. How FREE we are when we live in the truth of WHO we are in JESUS our SAVIOR! Free indeed! I praise the Lord for you and thank Him for the weaving of friends He brings into our lives to encourage us along the way. Love you!
Love you, Val! From the start … soul sisters! ♥
I loved learning more about you and your story, Lori. Such a testament to an honest and authentic relationship with Jesus and the freedom that comes when we truly experience His love and grace. That really is a victory that is second to none. So glad to be on #thetestimonytour with you.
Likewise, Tiffany! It has been so fun getting to know you! I hope someday soon we will meet in real life!
Thank you for this post. My heart is in this very place. Needing to know Jesus with my heart, not just knowledge. Thank you for this awesome testimony. Trusting He will find me in the same way.
I am praying right now, Sherri, that in the midst of the place you are in right now, you experience the Jesus that will never let go. It’s not an if. Not a maybe. He loves you. He calls you His. He calls you precious. Lovely. Chosen. Worthy. Receive His love and let go of the burdens you are holding onto. You are a blessing, my friend ♥
I loved reading your testimony, Lori. I can very much relate. Thank you for sharing your life with us, sweet friend!
It was such a gift for God to have handed me such beauty from my ashes. Now, to receive another gift in the form of encouraging others through my story … I’m simply humbled. He is so loving and good. Thank you, Leslie. You are a blessing!
What great love the Father has lavished on us! Praise God that we are called His precious daughters, and that He never gives up on His children! I am continually blown away by God’s patient, unending, relentless love. He truly pursued you heart, Lori, and brought brilliant beauty from ashes. I am honored to call you my sister!
You and me both, Christin! Absolutely blown away! Sometimes I get caught up in the busyness of each day. My to-do lists and frustrations … and forget to put that in perspective. But all it takes is a deep breath, a few moments of quiet, some humble repentance, and God fills my heart with gratitude and awe for how big He loves me! Thanks, sweet friend, for visiting ♥
Your story is the story of so many…myself included! Satan loves to keep us spinning our wheels and in a state of separation from God through separation brought on by shame. We seek to earn a love Jesus freely gives and feel we can never measure up. I’m so glad that I was finally able to fully surrender and just receive that amazing grace and love! Beautiful testimony!
Shame is a powerful weapon – one of satan’s favorites. You are so right – it separates us from God. I’m praying that these words here in my testimony and in the testimonies all along this tour will set people free as they fight against the enemy in the name of Jesus and claim what is theirs as an heir to the throne! Thanks so much, Joanna, for visiting today!
What a powerful testimony, Lori. I love this . . . “Not as One who longs to dwell in me and be in relationship with me.”
The God of the Heavens and the earth just wants us! Isn’t that a humbling thought?
I pray through your testimony so many are encouraged to surrender their hearts, to lay open their souls, and to embrace the God who just wants us. Thank you for the reminder to always stay open to His call!
Yes! So very humbling. Thank you so much for praying, Erika. I’m joining you in that prayer right now. ♥ BTW – My middle name and my mom’s name is Erika – spelled like yours, with a K! Love it!
His relentless pursuit! Yes! That is what saved me, and still saves me each time I start to wander into doubt, regret, fear, and every other stronghold that wants to separate me from the love of my Savior. We don’t simply know about Him – even demons have that. We are known to Him, and we belong to Him. Praise God! Thank you for sharing your testimony. He is mighty to save!
I’m praying right now, Rebecca, that you continue to recognize and run back to Him in every moment of doubt, regret, and fear! You are so right, His relentless pursuit doesn’t let go! I’m so glad you stopped by today. Thank you♥
What a powerful message Lori! Thank You for sharing your story of how Jesus pursued you. HE finds us worthy. When our worth is in HIM the hole is filled and we are harder for the enemy to reach. HIS love is indescribable! I Love my God!
Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Na’omi, for stopping by today. I’m so humbled to have God use my story for His good. There’s nothing better than using our messes to encourage others down the road!
So love how our stories connect us and draw us all toward the heart of God who loves us “relentlessly!” Each story brings such encouragement to know that God always desires to heal our broken places and free us! Such a great series!!
It has been so encouraging and FUN to be a part of this series! Reading each testimony certainly does remind us of all the intricate work God does to draw us toward Him. And, AMEN! He always desires to heal and free us ♥ Thanks, Crystal, for stopping by today! Sending much love!
Love this Lori! I also knew about Jesus, Christianity, etc., for a long while before I realized knowing about Him and knowing Him were different. I just wrote about this on my blog as a part of sharing my testimony too. What a precious joy and treasure that we get to know Jesus personally!
It literally makes a world of difference, doesn’t it! Thanks so much, Bethany, for stopping by! I always love connecting with you! I want to stop by your blog to check this post out! Which one is it?
Powerful testimony, Lori. Glad I saw this tonight! God is so good to us.
Thanks, Terri! It’s so good to see you here tonight! I’ve missed you!
“Knowing about Jesus” … Yes…I grew up learning “about” Him but never met Him until I was 45. What a difference He has made in my life. Praising Him for never wanting anything but Himself for us. Thanks for sharing your story and the Truth.
I wanted to shout hallelujah as I was reading your post Lori. I am so thankful and filled with such hope as I realize God’s persistence and His patience. He never gives up on us. His love is everlasting and His grace is undeserved. What an amazing God we serve! I know He is pleased with the testimonies you ladies have shared on this tour. I love reading your thoughts as you share your heart with such transparency. Have a wonderful weekend dear friend. Thank you for the reminder for me to dress in God’s armor daily as the spiritual battles take place each day. Continued blessings for you and your family. .
Thank you so much, Horace! I am so grateful for His unfailing patience. I look at myself as a Mom and wonder how is it even possible to have the patience He has with us? I feel like I may implode at times because of the backpacks that can’t make it two more feet onto the hook rather than in the middle of the floor! lol! You always are so encouraging and want you to know how much I appreciate it! Thank you a million times over!
Lori, I love how Christ waits patiently for us and doesn’t hold shame or guilt over us in our brokenness. “Stopping all the madness resonates fully with me, especially in light of being able to clearly see who we are to Him and what purposeful and orderly plans He has for us. Thank you for sharing more of your story sweet friend!
Thanks, Crystal! Yes, to no guilt. His grace and patience is astounding. And it takes a great big weight off our shoulders, doesn’t it? Have a wonderful week ♥