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When You Are Tired of Dealing with Regret

Regret.

How many of us live with it? How much of our lives does regret control?

Is regret something you deal with today? I lived many years emotionally exhausted from dealing with regret. For me it was an abortion when I was 17 years old. Today, I am here to share hope with you. Hope to heal and move forward. #abortion #regret #hope #godslove

For many of us, it’s far too much.

There’s the regret that serves as a simple reminder saying, “I made a mistake, but I learned from it and am stronger today.” But then there’s the other kind of regret.

The one that lives in the hallways of our mind, constantly infiltrating our thoughts and lives. It steals our joy, our contentment, and our fullness of life.

What is at the root of regret?

It’s something we did that we wish we didn’t. Unable to lay it aside, it festers within us. And ultimately, it is rooted in unforgiveness.

Last week, I wrote that understanding our worth is dependent upon knowing our Creator. It’s the same with forgiveness. To fully extend forgiveness to ourselves or another, we must fully understand the forgiveness and grace of the Father. What comes from Him and His unfailing love is only found by fully knowing Him.

To fully extend forgiveness to ourselves or another, we must fully understand the forgiveness and grace of the Father. #regret #redemption Click To Tweet

For many years I lived with a great deal of regret. It weighed me down and took me along paths of which I never should have walked. My regret multiplied. I didn’t know my Creator well enough to grasp my worth, so I made choices that only hurt more.

I didn’t find freedom from regret until I began to peel away the layers of who God is and learn about the character and love of the One who created me with and for a purpose.

Freedom from regret began with Jesus.

I told my personal story of abortion not long ago here in this space. And after doing so, I received many emails and messages from women longing to be set free from regret. Many are living with depression, unmet potential, and a multitude of other mental and physical health issues.

I wish I could take that pain from you right this moment. I can’t, but that doesn’t mean you must continue to stay stuck. You can move forward one baby step at a time.

Is regret something you deal with today? I lived many years emotionally exhausted from dealing with regret. For me it was an abortion when I was 17 years old. Today, I am here to share hope with you. Hope to heal and move forward. #abortion #regret #hope #godslove

There’s just one condition. It’s knowing God – His character, His power, and His boundless-relentless-redemptive love for you.

There’s just no other place to start. When you finally grasp this truth, you’ll feel the fullness of His grace. Not that He ever withheld the grace, it’s just that until you know Him, you wear these blinders that keep you from seeing and sensing Him.

His grace is powerful. It’s better than any stain remover I’ve ever found! No matter how dirty the sin or how deep the stain embedded upon your heart, His forgiveness washes it clean and leaves it white as snow.

No matter how dirty the sin or how deep the stain embedded upon your heart, God's forgiveness washes it clean and leaves it white as snow. #regret #redemption Click To Tweet

 “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord“Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” -Isaiah 1:18 NLT

Next, there’s no easy way around leaving regret behind. It takes self-discipline and intentional actions. It includes counseling, self-help literature (you can find some of my favorite resources here), prayer,  and a group to hold you accountable. I also believe there is an element of spiritual warfare that must be addressed. This is something I will expand upon in another post.

Today, I’m leaving you with a short video I created to remind you about God’s love and hope.

I referenced my personal story and I pray it will encourage you just a little more to believe that yes, it is possible. You can leave regret behind and live fully free!


I’ve written at length about several things we can do to fully learn about God’s love and our worth as a child of His. My heart has been to equip you with strategies like:

Learning to forgive ourselves and get unstuck

Replacing negative self-talk with Truth

Recognizing triggers that cause you to doubt and how to set boundaries around the root of those triggers.

Reading Scripture and tucking it deep within your mind and heart.

Praying bold prayers in the Name of Jesus.

I’ve created things like an email course I call Longing for More than the World’s Reflection, an online Identity Factor quiz, and a whole series featuring stories from other brave women who have learned about the power of embracing God’s love. (You can find all my series here)


Have You Read Our Story of Hope?

Surrendered Hearts: An Adoption Story of Love, Loss, and Learning to Trust is a story for anyone needing hope. It's for the one who needs to let go of something so that God will move them forward.The Surrendered Hearts book is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, ChristianBook.com, and Redemption Press.


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31 Comments

  1. Oh, Laurie, I was on a blogging break and this is my first week back. Your video grips me and I find myself relating to it in numerous levels. I must go back and read last weeks post. You have no idea how many women needed to hear that message. Thank you for being brave enough to share it. I’m so glad that we have both found true love, forgiveness, and freedom through Jesus Christ. Happy Valentine’s Day, my friend. ?

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Tiffiney! I feel your heart, sweet sister. There was much to my story I hadn’t shared because God hadn’t given me peace in the timing – until such a time as this ♥ Hugs!!

  2. Good words, Lori.
    One of the prayers I started out praying for my sons when they were all tiny is that they would live in such a way that they have few regrets. I know none of us gets through life unscathed by regret, but it’s so damaging and slows us down like muddy boots.

    1. I love that, Michele. It’s something I always say to my boys, as well. I ask them to really weigh their choices, of course align them with Christ, then make the choice that will not leave them with regret. Blessings to you!! Lori

  3. This post gets me. I do have a great deal of regret, especially surrounding our adoption story and what that’s done to my family. I will meditate on this post, the verses ,and your words here. It’s such a great reminder and I need that most days. Thank you for featuring my bog and the encouraging words left for me! I am humbled and honored. Thank you!

    1. Thank you, Amber, for joining me here. I was so honored to share your post. It was beautifully written and resonated deeply. Bless you, sweet sister!

  4. “You can move forward one baby step at a time.” No matter what we’re facing, this is always great advice. It can apply to many areas where we feel immobilized by the immensity of the task. Thanks for being authentic, Lori!

    1. Those baby steps keep us from getting stuck. They help us keep momentum for when the grieving is finished and we turn to run the race once again! Thanks, Lisa! I am thankful for you!

  5. This is such an important truth to grasp. We cannot be free from our regrets without the grace and mercy of Jesus. We can try so many other options, but none will truly set us free. Thanks for this post!

  6. Your heart of compassion shows deeply in this post/video. I did not have an abortion, however my close friend did. To watch her walk the tough yet beautiful path to healing through Jesus Christ was transforming. I have my own regrets dealing with my children, was emotional wreck yrs ago. It’s the reason I started my blog, to point people to truths and that I’m walking testimony to say, “you can have a beauty from ashes story.” Thank you for being the hands and feet of Jesus to help others find healing ❤️

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your own story here, April! When God picks up those pieces and builds our lives into a new creation, it’s breathtaking. And then, somehow it even gets better when we hold His hand and share the story of His redemption because we watch Him use it to reach others. Blessings to you, friend!

  7. It’s so easy to get stuck in the “if only’s” and, of course, the enemy of our souls wants to keep us there. But God …! We have to run back to the cross over and over sometimes and learn to contemplate His incredible grace! Thanks for sharing your story and urging others on to receive His grace and forgiveness.

    1. This weekend a sweet cousin was visiting us and we had the opportunity to have the longest and best conversations late into the evenings. She shared with me something her dad has always said and it aligned with all that I’ve been writing here:
      “God can’t steer a parked car. (so get moving!)”
      It made me smile because it’s so true. If we are stuck in the past, we haven’t given Jesus the wheel to drive us to the next chapter of our lives!

      Blessings! Lori

  8. Your words of hope are beautiful. I know you have given relief to so many in this. laurensparks.net

  9. Hi Lori,
    Very well put & lived…
    I like the following quote I heard once; (can’t remember who from)
    “Regrets are a waste of time for they only bring the past into the present where it does not belong!”

    I have found this to be true, especially with my own past regrets. Only Jesus can take them & heal them when we leave them consciously with Him.
    Blessings,
    Jennifer

    1. Amen, Jennifer! When we surrender ourselves along with those regrets to Jesus, He will heal them. Then we can move into all He has planned for us and not stay stuck looking back.

  10. Regret is something we all have to deal with. Thank you for sharing your words of hope with us to help with feelings of regret. The best we can do is to live our lives in a way to reduce the amount of regrets we feel.

    1. You are so right, Laurie. We will have to deal with it different points in our lives. Yet, it’s how we do that. Will we let it simply be a conviction to do better the next time, or do we keep focusing on it allowing it to keep us stuck in the past burdened by guilt and condemnation.

  11. Some wise lady told me that regret is living in the past. Which will color the present. It is easy to live in the past, but it is not a pleasant place to reside and there is no way to change the past. We can though, change the present. And grace, that free gift we often are afraid to accept, because we think we need to earn it or deserve it, is the best antidote for regret. Thanks, Lori, for your words of wisdom.

  12. Regret can eat you alive. Thank you for sharing your story and helping women to turn to God. I loved watching your video and hearing your story.

    1. Thanks, Maree. It really can – but God gives us a way out and I am sooooo thankful!

  13. I love that your words are back for the world to read friend. 🙂 And a big AMEN to “freedom from regret began with Jesus!” xoxo

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