Today I welcome Nicole Kauffman of CourageHopeLove to the blog. I remember when I first read her blog, I was drawn in by the clarity with which she writes of the hope we find in Christ. As I dug in a little deeper, I realized she and I both have a heart for women searching for something in this world to anchor them. Something or someone to tell them who they are, or Whose they are.
We’ve been messaging for quite a while about this post. Our schedules didn’t always line up quite the same. But I am so thankful she was patient with me because, friends, I know these words will encourage you to walk away from a broken past and fight for the truth of who you are as a child of God!
I have a laundry list of brokenness in my past.
A list that I struggle to surrender.
A list that I constantly check.
When I don’t measure up, my thoughts instantly drift to the parts of my past that tear at my soul.When you don't measure up, to where do your thoughts drift? #ChosenandWorthy #identity @nicoleakauffman Click To Tweet
With each failure, my list grows.
I fear my shortcomings define me.
I dread they measure my worth.
There have been times these pains have grown so big I feared finding my way again was impossible.
I saw myself as broken, guilty, and worthless. On my darkest nights, these identities would cover me and leave me hopeless.
I spent a year and a half walking in these false truths, allowing them to dictate my mind and my heart.
I found myself fighting on the wrong side of the battle.
Reading Scriptures about who God says I am, I’d slam my Bible shut in shame. Standing silently as praise songs rang out around me on Sunday mornings, feelings of betrayal and loneliness overcame me.
The Lord may love them, I thought, but clearly I’m different.
My story is worse. My past is uglier.Your sin is never too big for God to redeem #ChosenandWorthy #hope #identity @nicoleaKauffman Click To Tweet
Until one day as I drove home from work, something hit me.
I had been staying with a couple from my church for the summer. They had opened their home, their hearts, and their fridge to me.
They spent time with me, talking, running, laughing, but most of all, loving.
The love this couple showed to me made it impossible for me to believe God didn’t love me.
The time I’d spent dwelling in my pain and believing the lies about who I am was the very problem.
I needed to stand up. I needed to fight.
Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. -1 Peter 5:8
I realized my worth was not dependent on my past or on what I could do. Rather, secure and steadfast it is based on what Christ already did.
We are all fighting this battle against the enemy. Maybe you also have a difficult past you struggle to surrender. Or maybe it’s something else getting you hung up and hopeless.
I want to encourage you today to stand in the identity you have in Christ Jesus.
I walked a broken path. My heart weighed down in shame for most of my life.
But the Lord has taught me something new. Out of my brokenness, He has brought forth beauty.Instead of asking God to take away my suffering, I asked Him to use it for His glory. #ChosenandWorthy #Hope @nicoleakauffman Click To Tweet
Instead of asking God to take away my suffering, I asked Him to use it for His glory.
I no longer ran from my past, I turned and faced it.
Instead of allowing satan’s lies to dictate my view of myself, I began to rest in God’s view of me.
I sought out what it truly meant to be a child of the Almighty God.
I asked God to reveal my twisted view of myself. And He did. And He still is.
This process of redemption and this journey of sanctification is ongoing for all of us.
We are slowly shedding the layers of pain and shame. We are walking from our darkness into the light of Christ.
The only way that I am able to do this is in the grace of God. It is His strength that gives me courage to face my brokenness. It is His love that fills me with hope and security as I grasp my new identity.
I spent time memorizing Scripture to combat the lies so deeply entangled in my mind.
Often, I wrote prayers crying out in my darkest moments when words wouldn’t come.
And ultimately, I opened my heart to vulnerability to others and in doing so found tremendous freedom and healing.
The Lord wants to bring us to a place of freedom and joy. He wants our hearts to be at rest in our salvation in Him.
His love is greater than anything in our past. His love is greater than any shortcoming of our future.
In every moment, we must choose to proclaim our identity in Him.
And in doing this, we stand up and fight to live in the victory Christ has already won for you and for me.
Nicole Kauffman is a wife, blogger and passionate follower of Christ. Her blog, Courage. Hope. Love, was founded to encourage, inspire and guide Christians to deeper hope and joy in the Lord. Nicole lives in Pennsylvania with her amazing, God-seeking husband and family. She is an aspiring author who loves to grow relationships, mentor, and explore the beauty of God’s creation all around. You can follow her on Facebook, Pinterest, and Twitter.
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