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Lori Schumaker

Encouraging women to face the challenges of life with the hope of Christ.

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Home » #MomentsofHope » Life Isn’t Fair: Help for When You Need to Overcome the Hurt

Life Isn’t Fair: Help for When You Need to Overcome the Hurt

by Lori Schumaker in #MomentsofHope

Life Isn’t Fair

Now is a great time to pull out your Journal & Growth Guide and reference page 11. If you are new here and haven’t gotten started with us, it’s never too late. It is a go-at-your-own-pace series that you can start or stop at any time. Get your free Journal & Growth Guide HERE!


Life isn't fair and hurt is inevitable. Overcoming it is possible. #betrayed #rejection #trueidentity #lifeisnotfair #hope #godslove

I remember 4th grade well. Mrs. Johnson had been one of my favorite teachers. I adored her. Yet, one day things went very wrong. In front of the entire class, she asked me to stay in from recess. It was obvious by the look on her face that it wasn’t for something fun.

I was terrified. “What could this be about? What had I done?”

After the other children filed out of the room, she looked in my eyes and asked me why I disliked her so much. I stared at her with big blank eyes because it didn’t make sense at all! I adored her!

She pulled out my latest math paper. At the bottom was written, “I hate you, Mrs. Johnson.”

I couldn’t spit the words out fast enough. “I didn’t write that! I would never!”

The tears fell quickly. I was already an accomplished people pleaser, so the idea of displeasing my teacher wreaked havoc on my heart.

I remember thinking that life isn’t fair. I didn’t realize how often I’d live out that truth in the years to come.

Mrs. Johnson wasn’t sure what to believe. She saw the writing (whoever wrote it did a great job of mimicking my handwriting). But she also thought she knew my heart. Because of this she held off on consequences, yet called my parents in to sort out the fiasco.

Eventually, we found the culprit. Sadly, it was one of my closest friends. A brokenness lay within her young little heart that I was too young to understand, and it had led her to betray me.

Reprimanded, gossiped about, and ultimately losing what I thought was a good friendship felt unfair. And I was right. More right than I could fully grasp at the time.

Life is unjust. Betrayal happens not because of who we are or who we aren’t, but simply because it is a part of life #betrayed #rejection #hope #overcomer #momentsofhope Click To Tweet

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. –John 16:33 (NLT)

Acts of betrayal come in all shapes and sizes. Each with their own unique daggers to our hearts. They come when we are children and they come when we are adults.

But what do we do with all the rejection, hurt, and disappointment resulting from rejection and betrayal?

Life isn't fair and hurt is inevitable. Overcoming it is possible. #betrayed #rejection #trueidentity #lifeisnotfair #hope #godslove

Our bodies have a physiological response to perceived harm referred to as an Acute Stress Response or the Fight or Flight Response. Of course, our natural instinct toward this response varies depending on a multitude of factors, including the type, time, and duration of the trauma. Essentially, when we are caught off guard, our physiologic response is to get as far away from the situation as possible or lash out to fight the situation.

Fight or Flight may be our natural response, but I’m not sure it’s the response God desires for us. That is because it places a wall between us and others creating unhealthy relationships. It puts us in a hyper-alert status allowing fear to take over.

Wherever you are afraid, Jesus is not King. – Jamie Winship

Fear tells us running away is a good thing. It likes us to believe the lie that if we are careful enough, it is possible to avoid any future encounters with rejection or betrayal. Fear says retreating from our dreams – our relationships – our love is really not all that bad.

Fear also tells us if we fight back or maybe even fight first, we can stop betrayal in its tracks. It tries to convince us we can live happily with our walls of steel firmly in place, ensuring we never fully feel the love of others or of Christ.

But those are all lies.

Friends, lies only come from the author of lies. The enemy who desires to steal our dreams and our joy. The enemy who desires to keep us from living out our purpose.

Lies come only from the author of all lies. The enemy who desires to steal our dreams and our joy. The enemy who desires to keep us from living out our purpose #hope #overcomer #riseabovethehurt Click To Tweet

As followers of Christ, we have another option.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. -2 Timothy 1:7

We can unconditionally accept the fact that life is not fair and injustice happens. We accept it is unavoidable nor in our power to stop.

When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. -Romans 5:12

It is only in our power to trust that God will walk us through.

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. -Isaiah 43:2

Friends, I know God’s promise is true. When He says He will walk with us, we can believe it!

When God says He will walk with us, we can believe it! #overcomer #betrayal #rejection #series #journal #growthguide Click To Tweet

But we have to do our part. It’s not easy, but God does use all things for good. I am living proof of that truth.

5 Truths for Overcoming Hurt When Life Isn’t Fair

Life isn't fair and hurt is inevitable. Overcoming it is possible. #betrayed #rejection #trueidentity #lifeisnotfair #hope #godslove

Help for When Life Isn’t Fair

Finally, there is nowhere from which we gain more hope than directly from the Word of God. Therefore, I created a free printable set of Scripture Cards based on a survey I took on Facebook.

I asked my Facebook friends to share with me those verses they hold close to their hearts. I then took 17 of those and made them into printable scripture cards for you. Each is the size of a business card so you can place them in your wallet. They are the latest addition to the Library of Hope. If you are already signed up to receive my monthly newsletter (well … I try anyway), then you already have access. If not, get your access HERE or by clicking on the image!

17 Great Bible Verses That Will Give You Hope #scripture #printableverses #hope #bibleverses #encouragement

May you be blessed and when life isn’t fair, my you overcome each obstacle with the hope of Christ.

You can find me regularly linking up with these encouraging sites.



Join Me for the Series!

When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal is a series that looks into the Word of God as a guide to not just surviving, but rising victoriously over hurt. Each week I address a new aspect of rejection and betrayal that serves to keep us stuck in the pain rather than moving forward to where we want to be. (If you missed a post, then you can get caught up HERE or click on an image below!)

When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal Series #emotionalpain #betrayal #Godslove #whenpeoplehurtyou #rejection #identityinchrist #hopeVictim or Victor ? What to Choose When Someone Hurts You | #livingfree #victory #victim #rejection #betrayed #identity 7 Truths That Will Enable You to Get Over Betrayal and Rejection | When People Hurt You #Series #overcoming #betrayal #rejection #emotionalpain #hope #identityinchrist #christianlifecoaching Dealing with Rejection, Betrayal, and the Lies of False Guilt | When People Hurt You | #Series #betrayal #rejection #godslove #guilt #hope

Also, I’ve created a Scripture Based Journal and Growth Guide that corresponds to each weekly devotional post giving you an opportunity to go deeper and make each lesson more meaningful.

This journal along with a set of printable Scripture Cards to give you hope is now in the Library of Hope! If you have already subscribed to our community, jump on over and grab your copy! If you haven’t subscribed, what are you waiting for? 🙂 Just use the form below for your access to the Library of Hope and this journal!

Do you need more hope in this season of hurt?
Get this Journal & Growth Guide to walk you through 7 areas of healing from both rejection and betrayal. Plus, have full access to all resources in the Library of Hope!
 
Join me for the series and get both your Journal & Growth Guide and set of printable Scripture Cards! When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal #ScriptureJournal #EmotionalPain #Godslove… Click To Tweet

     17 Great Bible Verses That Will Give You Hope #scripture #printableverses #hope #bibleverses #encouragement



This Week’s Featured #MomentsofHope Writers

4 Ways to Quell Comparison

by Shannon of Of the Hearth

3 Things You Need to Know About Who You Are

by Rebecca Hastings of My Ink Dance

Hospitality is Hard: My House is a Mess! (Part 1)

by Sue Moore Donalson of Welcome Heart

Before I go, please try to visit these sites and leave some #MomentsofHope comment and sharing love! Shannon, Becky, and Sue, please feel free to grab the Happily Featured Here button below!

Moments of Hope Link-Up image for featured writers and bloggers #linkup #featuredblogger #featuredpost #featuredwriters



 #MomentsofHope Thursday Link-Up
Join us for the #MomentsofHope Link-Up! Hope-filled encouragement every THURSDAY! #MomentsofHope #hope #christianencouragement #givemeJesus Click To Tweet

Join us for hope-filled encouragement every Thursday | #MomentsofHope #LinkParty #Hope #EcouragementIt’s all about hope, so let’s be accountable in doing these 3 things for each other:

  1. Share up to 2 blog post URLs resonating with the HOPE of Christ. The little things and the big that inspire us to lean into Jesus and let Him carry us through.
  2. #MomentsofHope is a place to give and get hope, so let’s encourage others in their efforts to share the hope of Jesus. Please stop by at least one other writer’s little corner of the blog world!
  3. Please grab the #MomentsofHope button found HERE, or link back to me.
[inlinkz_linkup id=784444 mode=1]

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Filed Under: #MomentsofHope, Hope, Just life, Rising Above Rejection and Betrayal
Tagged: #momentsofhope, 17 scripture cards, betrayal, betrayed, free printable, Hope, hurt, journal and growth guide, life isn't fair, Moments of Hope, overcome, printable bible verse cards, printable scripture cards, rejection, rise above emotional hurt, series

« Victim or Victor? What to Choose When Someone Hurts You
11 Ways to Encourage Your Husband to Be the Best Dad He Can Be (without nagging!) »

Comments

  1. Shannon says

    at

    Thanks for featuring my post on quelling comparison, Lori!
    I love these verses you’ve shared about how to handle it when we realize life isn’t fair. These are helpful to me personally, but they are also helpful as I try to help my preschooler understand this concept.

    Reply
    • Lori says

      at

      Shannon, It was a great post! Comparison is something I think that effects us all in varying degrees. Thank you so much for joining me here to share the hope of Christ!

      Reply
  2. Joanne Viola (@JViola79) says

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    Lori, this post confirms so many thoughts I have been mulling around lately. Some I have blogged about, others I have held close. It is true, truth – injustice and betrayal will come but our God will always walk us through it. May He strengthen His people to respond properly when life isn’t fair. Thank you for blessing me this morning with your words!

    Reply
    • Lori says

      at

      I am echoing that prayer, Joanne! “May He strengthen His people to respond properly when life isn’t fair.” It is a prayer our world desperately needs. Thank YOU,my friend! You are a blessing!

      Reply
  3. Michele Morin says

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    Gritty stories like this take biblical truth right into our real lives. These are the kind of situations our kids (and our own hearts!) are dealing with every day, and God is not watching us from the sidelines!

    Reply
    • Lori says

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      Amen, Michele! He is right in the midst with us – carrying us through ♥

      Reply
  4. Emily Saxe | To Unearth says

    at

    I recently heard a sermon about how pain and suffering are a way of reminding us that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. This isn’t how God created it to be. Life isn’t fair, but that truth points us to God. Your point about abiding in God is so essential to getting through the pain and suffering of this world!

    Reply
    • Lori says

      at

      That’s an interesting look at it, Emily. But it’s true …feeling the pain of what is wrong, makes us realize how wrong it is. Thanks so much for joining me here ♥ I pray you have a wonderful rest of your week!

      Reply
  5. helloredds says

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    This is so good, Lori!
    It may be one of your best. Love the story. Love the advice. Love the wisdom!

    Reply
    • Lori says

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      Thank you, Melanie! Praying it encourages others to trust God and bravely step out to continue loving others despite the emotional hurt they’ve experienced!
      ♥

      Reply
  6. Lauren Sparks says

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    “Whereever you are afraid, Jesus is not King.” Whoa. That’ll preach. laurensparks.net

    Reply
    • Lori says

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      lol! Right? That’s exactly what I thought, Lauren!

      Reply
  7. Tai East says

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    Wow! This is such a great post, Lori! So blessed to visit and link-up with you today! Thank you so much for sharing this and thank you so much for hosting! Blessings! 🙂

    Reply
  8. Rebecca Hastings says

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    I love the hope you offer here. Holding onto God’s truth can feel tricky in the midst of real life challenges, but it is so worth it! Thanks for the encouragement!

    And thank you for the feature 🙂

    Reply
  9. Lisa notes... says

    at

    I had a Mrs. Johnson in elementary school as well. She was my 2nd grade teacher, but not necessarily one of my favorites. Ha. I remember her rapping knuckles with a ruler. 🙂
    I’m thankful we don’t have to believe lies, but can be set free by the truth indeed. Thanks, Lori!

    Reply
  10. welcomeheart says

    at

    Thanks so much for the feature and for the reminders that truth and love together is what we need to hold onto! As believers “we have another option” – but like any choice point,I don’t always choose to trust the truth and the Truth giver. sigh.

    Reply
  11. Sherry says

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    Thanks for hosting!

    Reply
  12. Donna Reidland says

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    This looks like a great series. I can so identify with your story. I spent so many years as a people pleaser avoiding things that seemed too risky. But coming to know the Lord and realizing that while life isn’t fair, our God is good and faithful changes everything, doesn’t it! Thanks for the reminders.

    Reply
  13. teawithjennifer says

    at

    My post Eternity including an Excerpt from my second book is about circumstances in my life that didn’t seem fair!

    But God!

    Thank you Lori, I love how God brings themes together.
    Jennifer

    Reply
  14. Karrilee Aggett (@KarrileeA) says

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    I love that we both wrote about Lies… because, of course. And also this: All the Yes and Amen’s and Me Too’s to this post, my friend!

    Reply
  15. mareedee2016 says

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    What wonderful wise words you have given us. I am a recovering people pleaser and I would have been devastated over what was written on your paper. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  16. Dephinah Sirako says

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    I am very encouraged by your post

    Reply
  17. valerie says

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    Wonderful post Lori! I always ended up in situations like that as a kid as well. Such an awful feeling! Live bravely. I love tip number 4! Such eye-catching graphics too!

    Reply

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Lori Schumaker
They tried to roll their eyes at me each morning, They tried to roll their eyes at me each morning, but I still saw the little sparkle that told me the words still mattered. No matter how "uncool" I was, they loved being reminded of who and whose they were!

Our children, especially our teens, fight an incredible battle every single day. The world is at their literal fingertips 24/7 and what it tells them about their identity isn't anything that will give them solid ground to stand on. 

So we need to give that Truth to them. Again and again.

Who are they? They are a child of God, a treasured member of their family, and a representative of themselves, their families, and Christ. 

Whose are they? They are God's. The maker of the universe. The same One who created the oceans, the mountains, the sun, and the moon. The One who created them uniquely with and for a purpose. Who calls them wonderful and beloved. 

⛔They do not belong to the world. ⛔And the world has no right to tell them differently. 👉But, if we, as parents, don't give them these truths and weapons to fight a very broken world, we may lose them to its brokenness. 😭

Give them hugs, spend time with them, talk, laugh, create memories ... but above all, remind them exactly who and Whose they are. Then pray like crazy! 😘💛
"So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord "So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty." -Zechariah 4:6

Whether you are worn out and weary wondering how things will get done. Or you are striving, pushing, or willing something you want to happen. 🌟It will only get done through God's strength. 🌟

The Spirit of the Lord is the strength behind your situation. He has the ultimate say in the matter. Hand it over to Him. Join Him by working with Him, not against. 
Listen. 
Lean in. 
And trust. 
😘
Jesus is my sunshine 💛 When I keep my eyes and Jesus is my sunshine 💛 When I keep my eyes and thoughts on Him and His Truth, the darkness of shadows do not have power over me. 

So if today the darkness seems too heavy, turn your face toward the sunshine. Hope will meet you there. 🌞
If the unsteadiness of this world is causing anxie If the unsteadiness of this world is causing anxiety to build within you, there is a way to be unshaken. 

It's not a one-time deal. It's a longing in our hearts to rest in the One who is in control of it all and loves us like crazy.  It's a faith that surrenders our concerns and control in trust. 

🌟It all starts in prayer. The more I pray, the more peace I find. And when I get all wrapped up in the things going on around me and forget to pray, I feel the pressure rise. God hears us and answers our prayers. 

🛐 Dear Jesus, 
Today I humbly come to You in acknowledgment of how little I really have under control. The world is turned upside down and my peace wavers. Anxiety wants to take over. But I know that You are God and You are on the throne. You are bigger than any calamity or struggle I may ever face. 

Father, I want to rest in the knowledge that I am a child of God. I am Yours. So, today I set the reflection of the world down and pick up Your reflection — calm, steady, and unwavering. A reflection of righteousness, love, and mercy. 

Make me whole in You, Jesus. Make my heart overflow with You. 

In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

✝"Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
 I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
 And when you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
 it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
 The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
 all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
 trade the creation just for you.” 
-Isaiah 43:2-4 MSG
Does the Bible confuse you a bit? 🤷‍♀ Do yo Does the Bible confuse you a bit? 🤷‍♀ Do you wonder what it REALLY says about certain topics? Are there questions you've wanted to know but for one reason or another have hesitated to ask? ❓❓❓

🌟I've been writing my latest series because I've been there with those questions. I remember when I began reading my Bible, it didn't always make sense to me. Sometimes even now, I need to pull out all my resources to help me understand something! 

‼‼There is a lot out here on the internet and a lot of it can guide you down the wrong path and into believing things that just are not true. And my heart is for you to know the truth about God and His Word to us, His children. 💕

➡Scroll through to see the questions I've covered so far. If any resonate, jump on over to the series and get some of the answers you are looking for. Then, share them with someone else you know who may be wondering about the same thing or needing encouragement in that area. And of course, if you have any additional questions, don't hesitate to rea.ch out.

You can use this link or by my link in bio.
www.lorischumaker.com/big-bible-questions/
Happy Easter! May today remind you of the hope th Happy Easter!

May today remind you of the hope that always lives. Three days before what we now call Easter Sunday, it seemed all was lost. Darkness prevailed. Jesus died on the cross. Grief echoed throughout the land. 

But as the sun rose on the third day, it was found that death did not conquer Hope after all.  In victory, Jesus rose from the dead. Light conquered darkness for all of eternity. 

So, rise up with bold and courageous hope today and every day. Jesus claimed victory for you and me and everyone who calls Him Savior. ✝

"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26
Last month this guy turned 20! 🎂🎉 It was the Last month this guy turned 20! 🎂🎉 It was the first birthday I didn't spend in person with him. 😥Our family was supposed to be together but flight delays and closed airports didn't get us all home in time so I could give him my great big momma bear hug! 

This year has taught all of us so much. We've grown individually and as a family in many ways. ➡Life challenges never go without meaning. After all, in the fire is where iron is sharpened. 🔥

I am so proud of the man Zach is becoming. When we lost my father, Zach was there for me and for my mom. Even now, because he knows how lonely she feels and how desperately she is missing Grandpa, he calls Grandma late every night just so she has someone that says goodnight to her. It's only a few minutes each night, but those few minutes mean the world to her. All while working a gazillion hours each week growing his resume and interviewing thousands, and keeping up with his classes at GCU. (if you love basketball, make sure to follow him for all his latest interviews with the best players across the world!)

You make your momma so proud, Z!  It's that teary-eyed and gushy kind of proud that makes me so thankful that God allows me to be your momma. And that He keeps listening to my prayers and working in and through you. 

This year and every year after I pray these things for you. That you:
🌟Keep chasing God and all the things of Him because if you do, all the other things will fall into place. 
🌟Keep trusting Him to work both the good and the bad together for a good. 
🌟Never forget He has a plan. If you live each day for Him and His glory, He will walk you through and to all He has for you in that plan. 

I love you, bud! 💕💕💕💕
Only 10 days until this conference! Local Phoenix Only 10 days until this conference! Local Phoenix Friends, don't miss a day to grow, to refresh, to connect, and to celebrate a purposely designed YOU! 💖

I thought the best way to tell you more about it is to share with you Sheila Arrington's heart behind her event:
⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

"Life of Purpose is not merely a concept it is a life of intentional practice!  During this conference, you will have real and practical access to proven strategies, interactive workshops, seasoned teachers, and coaches, tools, resources, and prayer. 

Sis, God brought me out of my pit into His purpose for my life and He wants the same for you. Let us help you.

Learn how to step out of emotional pain and be healed of heart wounds that have kept you off balance or frozen in your tracks. Lay a spiritual foundation, find your true identity in Christ.

God has placed upon my heart to call His daughters together and that they may walk in your royal position of purpose that grants you access into places you could never dream of walking into before.

Sis, take the next step to be free in your purpose, free in your soul, free in your vision.

Join us now don’t wait!" 🤝🙌

🌟Get all the details and register at www.SheilaArringtonMinistries.com/Conference 🌟
It’s been awhile since I’ve made a social medi It’s been awhile since I’ve made a social media video. But it’s also been awhile since I’ve truly been active anywhere on social media!

But that is changing! I needed the time to process through all the loss and trials of the last year. And although I know I’m not finished with that process, I feel joy coursing through my soul once again. 

It’s perfect timing, too, because I’m speaking for a breakout session at the Purposely Designed Conference in Phoenix, Az on Saturday April 23rd from 8:30 am - 3:00 pm. 

And it’s in person which makes it even better! 🥳

So, if any of these questions resonate anywhere in your soul, REGISTER!! ❤️

1. Do you feel stuck and in the pits? 
2. Are you holding on to your mistakes that can actually hinder you from your distinctive purpose? 
3. Do you feel like your life is not going where it should be? 
4. Are you ready to get unstuck, and move forward? 
4. Are you ready to step out of the pit and into purpose?
5. Do you need a day to focus on you and to tune out a noisy and demanding world? 

➡️Find out more about my session by listening to my video 
Or 
➡️ register today at www.SheilaArringtonMinistries.com/conference
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Your 5-Day Hope Toolkit includes a daily hope-filled scripture and prayer, an attitude inventory, a beautiful page of "I am" statements to combat negative thoughts, and my personal list of hope-filled resources.
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How could more hope help your day-to-day life?
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Join the Searching for Moments Community and get access to the Library of Hope. It's filled with resources to encourage your everyday life.
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If this is content you could use more of in your life, subscribe to my email list below. You will receive consistent hope-filled content that will encourage and equip you to surrender, trust, and follow where God is calling you. All subscribers get full access to the resource-filled Library of Hope, too!
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BEFORE YOU GO!
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If this is content you could use more of in your life, join me by subscribing to my email list. Here you receive consistent hope-filled content that will encourage and equip you to move from where you are to where you want to be in life. Plus, you get full access to the resource-filled Library of Hope!
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Do you need more hope in this season of hurt?
Get this Journal & Growth Guide to walk you through 7 areas of healing from both rejection and betrayal. Plus, have full access to all resources in the Library of Hope!
Do You Want to Improve Your Prayer Life and Grow Spiritually?
Get access to tools and resources to help you grow spiritually. Whether you are just learning to pray or you simply want to deepen your prayer life, you will find resources to help you grow. Subscribe and get access to the entire Library of Hope!
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WAIT!
BEFORE YOU GO!
If this is content you could use more of in your life, subscribe to my email list below. You will receive consistent hope-filled content that will encourage and equip you to move from where you are to where you want to be in life. All subscribers get full access to the resource-filled Library of Hope, too!
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Subscribing here will not only get you this practical resource, but all the resources found in the Library of Hope!
Start Your Journey Today
Living surrendered takes grit and courage. But when we let go and trust God, we tap into a fountain of life-giving peace and hope. Join me today and get access to a hope-filled library of free printable resources to start your journey.
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Start Your Journey Today!
Living surrendered takes courage. But when we let go and choose to trust God, we tap into a fountain of courage and of life-giving hope.

Join me today to grow in your faith. You will get full access to the Library of Hope which is filled with free printable resources to start your journey.
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