Life Isn’t Fair: Help for When You Need to Overcome the Hurt
Life Isn’t Fair
Now is a great time to pull out your Journal & Growth Guide and reference page 11. If you are new here and haven’t gotten started with us, it’s never too late. It is a go-at-your-own-pace series that you can start or stop at any time. Get your free Journal & Growth Guide HERE!
I remember 4th grade well. Mrs. Johnson had been one of my favorite teachers. I adored her. Yet, one day things went very wrong. In front of the entire class, she asked me to stay in from recess. It was obvious by the look on her face that it wasn’t for something fun.
I was terrified. “What could this be about? What had I done?”
After the other children filed out of the room, she looked in my eyes and asked me why I disliked her so much. I stared at her with big blank eyes because it didn’t make sense at all! I adored her!
She pulled out my latest math paper. At the bottom was written, “I hate you, Mrs. Johnson.”
I couldn’t spit the words out fast enough. “I didn’t write that! I would never!”
The tears fell quickly. I was already an accomplished people pleaser, so the idea of displeasing my teacher wreaked havoc on my heart.
I remember thinking that life isn’t fair. I didn’t realize how often I’d live out that truth in the years to come.
Mrs. Johnson wasn’t sure what to believe. She saw the writing (whoever wrote it did a great job of mimicking my handwriting). But she also thought she knew my heart. Because of this she held off on consequences, yet called my parents in to sort out the fiasco.
Eventually, we found the culprit. Sadly, it was one of my closest friends. A brokenness lay within her young little heart that I was too young to understand, and it had led her to betray me.
Reprimanded, gossiped about, and ultimately losing what I thought was a good friendship felt unfair. And I was right. More right than I could fully grasp at the time.
[bctt tweet=”Life is unjust. Betrayal happens not because of who we are or who we aren’t, but simply because it is a part of life #betrayed #rejection #hope #overcomer #momentsofhope” username=”lori_schumaker”]I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. –John 16:33 (NLT)
Acts of betrayal come in all shapes and sizes. Each with their own unique daggers to our hearts. They come when we are children and they come when we are adults.
But what do we do with all the rejection, hurt, and disappointment resulting from rejection and betrayal?
Our bodies have a physiological response to perceived harm referred to as an Acute Stress Response or the Fight or Flight Response. Of course, our natural instinct toward this response varies depending on a multitude of factors, including the type, time, and duration of the trauma. Essentially, when we are caught off guard, our physiologic response is to get as far away from the situation as possible or lash out to fight the situation.
Fight or Flight may be our natural response, but I’m not sure it’s the response God desires for us. That is because it places a wall between us and others creating unhealthy relationships. It puts us in a hyper-alert status allowing fear to take over.
Wherever you are afraid, Jesus is not King. – Jamie Winship
Fear tells us running away is a good thing. It likes us to believe the lie that if we are careful enough, it is possible to avoid any future encounters with rejection or betrayal. Fear says retreating from our dreams – our relationships – our love is really not all that bad.
Fear also tells us if we fight back or maybe even fight first, we can stop betrayal in its tracks. It tries to convince us we can live happily with our walls of steel firmly in place, ensuring we never fully feel the love of others or of Christ.
But those are all lies.
Friends, lies only come from the author of lies. The enemy who desires to steal our dreams and our joy. The enemy who desires to keep us from living out our purpose.
[bctt tweet=”Lies come only from the author of all lies. The enemy who desires to steal our dreams and our joy. The enemy who desires to keep us from living out our purpose #hope #overcomer #riseabovethehurt” username=”lori_schumaker”]As followers of Christ, we have another option.
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. -2 Timothy 1:7
We can unconditionally accept the fact that life is not fair and injustice happens. We accept it is unavoidable nor in our power to stop.
When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. -Romans 5:12
It is only in our power to trust that God will walk us through.
When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. -Isaiah 43:2
Friends, I know God’s promise is true. When He says He will walk with us, we can believe it!
[bctt tweet=”When God says He will walk with us, we can believe it! #overcomer #betrayal #rejection #series #journal #growthguide” username=”lori_schumaker”]But we have to do our part. It’s not easy, but God does use all things for good. I am living proof of that truth.
5 Truths for Overcoming Hurt When Life Isn’t Fair
Help for When Life Isn’t Fair
Finally, there is nowhere from which we gain more hope than directly from the Word of God. Therefore, I created a free printable set of Scripture Cards based on a survey I took on Facebook.
I asked my Facebook friends to share with me those verses they hold close to their hearts. I then took 17 of those and made them into printable scripture cards for you. Each is the size of a business card so you can place them in your wallet. They are the latest addition to the Library of Hope. If you are already signed up to receive my monthly newsletter (well … I try anyway), then you already have access. If not, get your access HERE or by clicking on the image!
May you be blessed and when life isn’t fair, my you overcome each obstacle with the hope of Christ.
You can find me regularly linking up with these encouraging sites.
Join Me for the Series!
When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal is a series that looks into the Word of God as a guide to not just surviving, but rising victoriously over hurt. Each week I address a new aspect of rejection and betrayal that serves to keep us stuck in the pain rather than moving forward to where we want to be. (If you missed a post, then you can get caught up HERE or click on an image below!)
Also, I’ve created a Scripture Based Journal and Growth Guide that corresponds to each weekly devotional post giving you an opportunity to go deeper and make each lesson more meaningful.
This journal along with a set of printable Scripture Cards to give you hope is now in the Library of Hope! If you have already subscribed to our community, jump on over and grab your copy! If you haven’t subscribed, what are you waiting for? 🙂 Just use the form below for your access to the Library of Hope and this journal!
This Week’s Featured #MomentsofHope Writers
by Shannon of Of the Hearth
3 Things You Need to Know About Who You Are
by Rebecca Hastings of My Ink Dance
Hospitality is Hard: My House is a Mess! (Part 1)
by Sue Moore Donalson of Welcome Heart
Before I go, please try to visit these sites and leave some #MomentsofHope comment and sharing love! Shannon, Becky, and Sue, please feel free to grab the Happily Featured Here button below!
#MomentsofHope Thursday Link-Up
[bctt tweet=”Join us for the #MomentsofHope Link-Up! Hope-filled encouragement every THURSDAY! #MomentsofHope #hope #christianencouragement #givemeJesus” username=”lori_schumaker”]
It’s all about hope, so let’s be accountable in doing these 3 things for each other:
- Share up to 2 blog post URLs resonating with the HOPE of Christ. The little things and the big that inspire us to lean into Jesus and let Him carry us through.
- #MomentsofHope is a place to give and get hope, so let’s encourage others in their efforts to share the hope of Jesus. Please stop by at least one other writer’s little corner of the blog world!
- Please grab the #MomentsofHope button found HERE, or link back to me.
Thanks for featuring my post on quelling comparison, Lori!
I love these verses you’ve shared about how to handle it when we realize life isn’t fair. These are helpful to me personally, but they are also helpful as I try to help my preschooler understand this concept.
Shannon, It was a great post! Comparison is something I think that effects us all in varying degrees. Thank you so much for joining me here to share the hope of Christ!
Lori, this post confirms so many thoughts I have been mulling around lately. Some I have blogged about, others I have held close. It is true, truth – injustice and betrayal will come but our God will always walk us through it. May He strengthen His people to respond properly when life isn’t fair. Thank you for blessing me this morning with your words!
I am echoing that prayer, Joanne! “May He strengthen His people to respond properly when life isn’t fair.” It is a prayer our world desperately needs. Thank YOU,my friend! You are a blessing!
Gritty stories like this take biblical truth right into our real lives. These are the kind of situations our kids (and our own hearts!) are dealing with every day, and God is not watching us from the sidelines!
Amen, Michele! He is right in the midst with us – carrying us through ♥
I recently heard a sermon about how pain and suffering are a way of reminding us that this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. This isn’t how God created it to be. Life isn’t fair, but that truth points us to God. Your point about abiding in God is so essential to getting through the pain and suffering of this world!
That’s an interesting look at it, Emily. But it’s true …feeling the pain of what is wrong, makes us realize how wrong it is. Thanks so much for joining me here ♥ I pray you have a wonderful rest of your week!
“Whereever you are afraid, Jesus is not King.” Whoa. That’ll preach. laurensparks.net
lol! Right? That’s exactly what I thought, Lauren!
Thank you, Melanie! Praying it encourages others to trust God and bravely step out to continue loving others despite the emotional hurt they’ve experienced!
♥
Wow! This is such a great post, Lori! So blessed to visit and link-up with you today! Thank you so much for sharing this and thank you so much for hosting! Blessings! 🙂
I love the hope you offer here. Holding onto God’s truth can feel tricky in the midst of real life challenges, but it is so worth it! Thanks for the encouragement!
And thank you for the feature 🙂
I had a Mrs. Johnson in elementary school as well. She was my 2nd grade teacher, but not necessarily one of my favorites. Ha. I remember her rapping knuckles with a ruler. 🙂
I’m thankful we don’t have to believe lies, but can be set free by the truth indeed. Thanks, Lori!
Thanks so much for the feature and for the reminders that truth and love together is what we need to hold onto! As believers “we have another option” – but like any choice point,I don’t always choose to trust the truth and the Truth giver. sigh.
Thanks for hosting!
This looks like a great series. I can so identify with your story. I spent so many years as a people pleaser avoiding things that seemed too risky. But coming to know the Lord and realizing that while life isn’t fair, our God is good and faithful changes everything, doesn’t it! Thanks for the reminders.
My post Eternity including an Excerpt from my second book is about circumstances in my life that didn’t seem fair!
But God!
Thank you Lori, I love how God brings themes together.
Jennifer
I love that we both wrote about Lies… because, of course. And also this: All the Yes and Amen’s and Me Too’s to this post, my friend!
What wonderful wise words you have given us. I am a recovering people pleaser and I would have been devastated over what was written on your paper. Thank you for sharing.
I am very encouraged by your post
Wonderful post Lori! I always ended up in situations like that as a kid as well. Such an awful feeling! Live bravely. I love tip number 4! Such eye-catching graphics too!