Victim or Victor? What to Choose When Someone Hurts You

When Someone Hurts You

Now is a good time to pull out your Journal & Growth Guide and reference #2 of the 7 Truths That Will Enable You to Get Over Betrayal and Rejection. Find that post HERE.

***Before I dig into this topic of choosing how to respond when someone hurts you, I want to say thank you. Last week I went MIA on my weekly post because my father suffered a stroke. As I shared the information on Facebook and Instagram and all the words of prayer and love streamed through, we were so thankful. Dad is doing well and scheduled to leave the rehabilitation facility today so please keep praying for not only full healing, but for the decisions and transitions he and my sweet mom are facing. Thank you so very very much!

Victim or Victor ? What to Choose When Someone Hurts You | #livingfree #victory #victim #rejection #betrayed #identity

If you’ve been here for even a brief moment, you know that the heart of my message is that the closer we are to the heart of God, the more we know who we are. And the more we know who we are, the more we live lives pursuing the very purpose for which God has placed us here on this Earth. We live lives of joy, peace, and hope. And we live lives that point to Jesus as that hope.

Likewise, if you’ve been here for that moment, you also know my personal story of identity is less than stellar. I was clueless. A young and impressionable girl grabbing her identity from the world around her, rather than the God within her.

I didn’t know who I was, or Whose I was. I walked into brokenness by wearing the labels of the world on my soul.

But lies permeate the labels of the world.  Maybe there is a tiny thread of truth mixed in with the world that bears the brokenness of our people and systems. But not much.

When we deal with the world, we deal with brokenness. And when we deal with brokenness, we deal with both rejection and betrayal. The enemy of our souls rejoices in it and works heartily at ensuring we clothe ourselves in the sin of our offenders.

Why? Because he wants us to identify as a victim.

The truth is, as a victim we will not fulfill our purpose. And as a victim, we will not see victory.

Therefore, we must know Truth. We must know Jesus and know that any rejection or betrayal we encounter will never become our identity.

Because our identity is unchangeable. As a believer, you are a child of God. Chosen, worthy, created in His image, with purpose, and called wonderful!

However, I get it. I get the hurt and the lies whispered by the enemy … I hear them, too. Ones like:

You are not worthy of respect.

You are a fool.

You’ll never accomplish your dream.

But lean in friends and listen to this truth.

People do not betray or reject based upon the worth of those they hurt. They choose to do so because of a brokenness deep inside themselves. 

People do not betray or reject based upon the worth of those they hurt. They choose to do so because of a brokenness deep inside themselves. #series #betrayal #rejection #MomentsofHope #identity Share on X

Let’s look at Judas Iscariot’s story of betrayal. He is the guy from Jesus’ inner circle who betrayed Jesus with a kiss.

Jesus lived a blameless life – one free of sin. He is the Lamb of God. Our Savior. The God of the Universe. Yet, He was betrayed. His betrayal could not be based upon His worth, right?  The betrayal was birthed out of a broken place – an unredeemed sin – within Judas.

Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I will give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” Then, dipping the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas, the son of Simon Iscariot. As soon as Judas took the bread, Satan entered into him. -John 13:26-27

Now let’s look at how Jesus handled the betrayal. Friends, He didn’t slip into victim mode. Although tortured and ridiculed in those proceeding hours, Jesus chose victory. A victory for all time. He conquered death and in so doing, He claimed victory for us, as well.

So, friends, when someone hurts you and the painful effects of sin find their way into your life, as a child of God, your life story is not that of a victim. 

Even though the painful effects of sin will find its way into your life, as a child of God, your life story is not that of a victim. #betrayal #rejection #victory #series #growthguide #MomentsofHope Share on X

You see, believing in Jesus doesn’t merely gain us a ticket into Heaven. It’s about the victory we have here on earth right now.  On this side of the cross. Being a follower of Jesus gives us an identity that no power of darkness can ever steal from us.

Believing in Jesus doesn't merely gain us a ticket into Heaven. It’s about the victory we have here on earth, too ... right now-on this side of the cross. #identity #betrayal #rejection #MomentsofHope Share on X

Cal Jernigan, my Pastor at Central Christian Church, once said, “You were not just saved. You were saved for a reason. You were not just rescued from the world, you were rescued for the world.”

So, if we were rescued for the world, do you think it was to live encumbered with a victim identity?

No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. -Romans 8:37(NLT)

We are not the



or broken.

We are not stuck in the muddy pit of our offender’s sin. And friends, we are not wearing their sin as our label!

For I am not ashamed of this Good News about Christ. It is the power of God at work, saving everyone who believes—the Jew first and also the Gentile. This Good News tells us how God makes us right in his sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. As the Scriptures say, “It is through faith that a righteous person has life.” -Romans 1:16-17

We are victors because our identity is in King Jesus.

He trumps all other sin and darkness. Washing the label of victim off us, He replaces it with an irrevocable one that no one can take away. A victorious label called …

Child of God

Victim or Victor ? What to Choose When Someone Hurts You | #livingfree #victory #victim #rejection #betrayed #identity

We are victors because our identity is in King Jesus! #identity #betrayal #rejection #series #growthguide #MomentsofHope Share on X

That is why we can take each whispered lie and cancel it out with Truth. When the enemy tells us we will never fulfill our purpose? We laugh in his face and say, “I am following my King and He will lead me to and through my purpose.”

When he whispers lies about our worth? We tell him to move on back because, “My Jesus, the King of the Universe, says I’m precious in His sight.”

And then, friends?  We breathe deeply and abide. 

We rest in the warm and loving, but safe and fierce protection of the One True King.

It is there we find a supernatural peace that rises above all else in the world … where betrayal has no sting.

“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” -John 15:5 (NIV)

Jesus, You are the King of Kings and the only One worthy of our praise. You created us as unique, wonderful, and in your image. You saved us for a reason. Lord, fill us with an understanding we cannot deny.

Let our identity as Your child seep into every corner and crevice of our hearts, souls, and minds so that betrayal loses its sting. Lord, I pray that we run to You and abide in You, resting peacefully in the encompassing knowledge that in You our identity is victorious. Convict us of our victory as we fulfill the purpose You have set before us. In Your precious and holy Name, I pray. Amen

I regularly link up with these encouraging blogs!

Join Me for the Series!

When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal is a series that looks into the Word of God as a guide to not just surviving, but rising victoriously over hurt. Each week I address a new aspect of rejection and betrayal that serves to keep us stuck in the pain rather than moving forward to where we want to be. (If you missed a post, then you can get caught up HERE or click on an image below!)

When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal Series #emotionalpain #betrayal #Godslove #whenpeoplehurtyou #rejection #identityinchrist #hope 7 Truths That Will Enable You to Get Over Betrayal and Rejection | When People Hurt You #Series #overcoming #betrayal #rejection #emotionalpain #hope #identityinchrist #christianlifecoaching Dealing with Rejection, Betrayal, and the Lies of False Guilt | When People Hurt You | #Series #betrayal #rejection #godslove #guilt #hope

Also, I’ve created a Scripture Based Journal and Growth Guide that corresponds to each weekly devotional post giving you an opportunity to go deeper and make each lesson more meaningful.

This journal along with a set of printable Scripture Cards to give you hope is now in the Library of Hope! If you have already subscribed to our community, jump on over and grab your copy! If you haven’t subscribed, what are you waiting for? 🙂 Just use the form below for your access to the Library of Hope and this journal!

Join me for the series and get both your Journal & Growth Guide and set of printable Scripture Cards! When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal #ScriptureJournal #EmotionalPain #Godslove… Share on X

     17 Great Bible Verses That Will Give You Hope #scripture #printableverses #hope #bibleverses #encouragement

This Week’s Featured #MomentsofHope Writers

We’re Meant to Bear Fruit

by Joanne Viola of Days and Thoughts

Anxiety and Depression – Two Peas in a Pod and the Power of Words

by Susan McIlmoil of Carry on My Heart 

How to Get Unbent After Getting Bent Out of Shape

by Marva Smith of Sun Sparkle Shine

marva smith

Before I go, please try to visit these sites and leave some #MomentsofHope comment and sharing love! Joanne, Susan, and Marva please feel free to grab the Happily Featured Here button below!

Moments of Hope Link-Up image for featured writers and bloggers #linkup #featuredblogger #featuredpost #featuredwriters

 #MomentsofHope Thursday Link-Up
Join us for the #MomentsofHope Link-Up! Hope-filled encouragement every THURSDAY! #MomentsofHope #hope #christianencouragement #givemeJesus Share on X

Join us for hope-filled encouragement every Thursday | #MomentsofHope #LinkParty #Hope #EcouragementIt’s all about hope, so let’s be accountable in doing these 3 things for each other:

  1. Share up to 2 blog post URLs resonating with the HOPE of Christ. The little things and the big that inspire us to lean into Jesus and let Him carry us through.
  2. #MomentsofHope is a place to give and get hope, so let’s encourage others in their efforts to share the hope of Jesus. Please stop by at least one other writer’s little corner of the blog world!
  3. Please grab the #MomentsofHope button found HERE, or link back to me.
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  1. Rescued “for” not “from.”
    This is a message like an arrow straight to my heart today, Lori, because I’m learning that when I write out of my broken places, there are people who read and find hope. It’s amazing to learn that our greatest weaknesses can also become our greatest strengths.

    1. Amen Amen and Amen ♥ Michele, I am so grateful God used these words to speak to you and remind you that you have been rescued FOR a purpose! I’m excited to continue to read all you will share as God urges you to dig below the surface and share the broken places ♥

  2. Lori, I needed to read this today and so, I thank you! This > “You were not just rescued from the world, you were rescued for the world.” This brings such hope and reassures me (and all of us) that the Lord redeems and uses every broken place in our lives.

    And it was such a sweet and encouraging surprise to see my post shared here. Thank you, friend!

    1. Oh, Joanne! I am so thankful these words were timely for you ♥ Praying you continue to hold onto them each day! And AMEN! The Lord does redeem and use every broken place in our lives. You always encourage me so I absolutely loved sharing your work! Hugs!

  3. Oh my – I am thinking of recent encounter where I chose victim not victor. I see how I missed out on so much. Thank you for your wise words. Maree

    1. Hi Maree,
      I think we all have those moments we choose victim over victor. In all honesty, sometimes we just want to sulk a little. But knowing you, I bet you stepped out of victim mode and right back into victor with the very next opportunity! Thanks so much for being here – I appreciate you!

  4. What powerful truth, Lori! I so love the points you make about how when people hurt us, it’s not a result of our worth, but of their own pain. That is so freeing! Thanks for sharing this today!

    1. Hi Emily,
      I am so glad this resonated with you. I agree completely – it is such a freeing truth when we realize it’s not about us, but about their pain! Thank you for joining me here ♥ I appreciate you!

  5. Lori, I am sorry to hear that your dad suffered a stroke. May his recovery be as quick and complete as possible! Today’s post is beautiful and wise. Thank you for sharing!

    1. Thank you so much for the thoughts, prayers, and kind words, Tammy ♥

  6. Lori, praying your dad recovers from his stroke. And this, “You see, believing in Jesus doesn’t merely gain us a ticket into Heaven. It’s about the victory we have here on earth right now. On this side of the cross. Being a follower of Jesus gives us an identity that no power of darkness can ever steal from us.” I have learned to say, “I am a beloved daughter os the King,” when the enemy flings his fiery darts my way. What a difference that has made!

    1. Thank you so much for the thoughts and prayers, Debbie ♥ And AMEN! You are a beloved daughter of the King!

  7. Horace Williams Jr. says:

    Wow, Lori it has been awhile, friend. I am sorry to read about your father. I will definitely continue in prayer. i know from experience the affect a stroke can have not only on the individual, but the loved ones as well. i absolutely love the encouraging words you’ve shared. Remembering who we are in Christ is a challenge as we seek to live for Him The enemy will use whatever it takes to keep our eyes off Jesus.Pain and suffering is definitely a trigger in our lives. How we respond to to pain plays a huge role in the way we live our lives as Christians. I want to thrive as a victor in Christ! Thank you so much for the words of wisdom, hope, and inspiration. I am so excited to be able to join Moments of hope today. may God continue to bless you and you family.

    1. How it made me smile to see your comment here, Horace! I hope you are doing well! I know you have a deep empathy for those navigating stroke. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I cherish them. Please know I will be praying for you as well!

  8. I have never before thought of the example of Judas and Jesus proving that betrayal is about the betrayer, not the betrayed. Brilliant!

    1. I remember when it hit me years ago. It was so freeing. Like, goodness, if Jesus could be so deeply betrayed by someone in His inner circle yet be free of sin, how could I not expect it to happen to me? So glad it resonated with you!

  9. Lori,
    I was saddened to hear that your Dad had had a stroke but gladden that he is doing okay…praying for you all.

    Yes, we are victors, it is difficult in such betrayal of trust but we have a Savior who knows & totally understands the sting of betrayal…Amen!

    1. Thank you, Jennifer … for the prayers, thoughts, and for joining me here in conversation ♥

  10. I’m so glad to hear that your father is making such improvements, Lori! Will continue to pray for a full recovery. Strokes are such scary events.

    1. Thank you so much, Lisa. I cherish the prayers. They really are scary!

  11. Continued prayers for your father Lori. This blog post is beautiful. We are rescued for a purpose. That wording is so on time. Thanks for continuing to open your heart to us even in the midst of everything else you have going on.

    1. Hi Brittany,
      Thank you so much for the continued prayers ♥ And I am so thankful you were encouraged by the words here. May God meet you right where you are! Thanks so much for joining me here today.

      Blessings and smiles,

  12. Oh, Lori, I love your blog redesign! May your new space be a beacon of light for those who are searching for our Savior.
    How’s your dad doing now? I pray he’s doing much better and that he and your mom have been able to navigate the changes with grace.
    Thanks for featuring my post, by the way. It was a lovely surprise.
    Blessings to you, dear friend!