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Lori Schumaker

Encouraging women to face the challenges of life with the hope of Christ.

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Home » Adoption » Reconciling Hope With Acceptance

Reconciling Hope With Acceptance

by Lori Schumaker in

How do I reconcile my hope with my acceptance?

My hope says that healing is coming…or at least that things will get better.

My acceptance says that things are as they are…now and maybe forever.

I know it’s possible. I believe there is a place of balance between the two. I believe God has a resting place right there in the middle that allows families to find peace. To thrive.

A Resting Place of Hope

But, I’ll be real. I am struggling to find that place. There are moments I think I have it. Even days. But in complete honesty, more often than not I do not have that reconciliation. My hope and my acceptance are butting heads and peace is not resting in my heart.

I guess it is because the black and white portion of my personality views acceptance as giving up. If I stop teaching, correcting, and monitoring all the things that I see as obstacles in my daughter’s ability to have independence and success in her life, it feels as if I have, in a sense, given up.

And what happens in the future? Do I look back in regret and wonder if I had pushed through and persisted in yet another obstacle, would it have buy nolvadex helped? Did I accept too soon? Which obstacles do I deem important and which are those to let go?

But our family is at a point of mental and emotional burnout. Something must give for our family to thrive. And I believe it lies in acceptance.

Reconciling hope is not an acceptance that says “I give up”, but an acceptance that keeps hope alive. A hope that is rooted in the Lord because His hope is eternal. It is a promise. His hope is the only hope that is authentic and unwavering.

And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?

My only hope is in you.

Psalm 39:7

I know that so many amazing families have already walked this unknown road. I know that you have gone through these emotional phases of adjustment. You have ached and then found peace. You have cried and then found joy. Would you please share with me in the comment section below your stories of reconciling hope and acceptance? Real stories from real people have such an incredible impact on others in the trenches. Your stories are a conduit of that hope the Lord has for us. And I thank you for being that conduit…

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Filed Under: Adoption, Hope, Just life, Special Needs, Uncategorized
Tagged: acceptance, correcting, heart, Hope, peace, reconciling

« Determination and Motivation – A Prayer for My Child
Recognizing Light and Darkness »

Comments

  1. Laura says

    at

    I’m following this post. I’m in the exact place you are right now and I’m feeling the same way. I appreciate you putting words to the struggle and I hope others comment with how they have come to terms and what that looks like in their lives.

    Reply
  2. Lori says

    at

    Hi Laura,

    Thank you so much for your comment. I know, from first hand experience, plus that of the many adoptive, foster, and special needs moms I have talked with that this is a struggle many parents face. I was hoping, as well, that people would share their stories! I’d love to connect with you, though, and be of any encouragement I can! Please feel free to email me!
    Lori

    Reply
  3. jolenephilo says

    at

    You are in such a hard place right now, Lori. I will be praying for you. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability at the DifferentDream.com Tuesday link share.

    Reply
  4. Lori says

    at

    Jolene, Thank you so very much for the prayers and the opportunity to share.

    Reply
  5. Arianne says

    at

    I have an inner circle of women that are atudying Job together in this exact same vein, my hope is that my family (ex-husband and 3 children) will find peace in the new normal as we struggle 4 years in with navigating this insanely complicated experience. My friend made a great statement yeaterday in our study time together, she said, “God’s promises are sure, we just can’t tell Him how to deliver them.” My hope has to be found in the Promiser above the promise, my heart breaks over the loss of our core family and the struggle to reconcile the impact out decision had had on our lives compared with what God is asking right now (to love, forgive, to hope in reconciliation and redemption). It’s painful to continually hope in something there is no real guarantee to receive. Accepting the right now, just for today and allowing my heart to be broken for the things of God is a daily struggle. Studying Job has helped tremendously and gives me courage to take one day at a time and look to Him in the midst of the storm when my eyes can barely see who is calling me because of the sounds of the storm, the height of the waves, the fear of the unknown. I want predictability, assurity, guarantees and God gives me none of those, only for today, right now, this moment, turning my heart towards Him and accepting that His power is made perfect in my weakness and the He will make all things good in His time, but quieting my soul to not define and describe for God what His definition of ‘good’ is nor what His timing of His good should be. Bless you for walking this out and thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  6. Lori says

    at

    Arianne,
    Thank you so much for sharing. I love your faith. I love how you have a circle of friends studying the Word, as well. I think support is CRUCIAL to thriving in the toughest of times. We need our Jesus-with-skin-on friends sharing His love and wisdom with us, right?
    I will be praying for you, as well, as you navigate to your new normal and find that peace!

    Many hugs,
    Lori

    Reply

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Lori Schumaker
They tried to roll their eyes at me each morning, They tried to roll their eyes at me each morning, but I still saw the little sparkle that told me the words still mattered. No matter how "uncool" I was, they loved being reminded of who and whose they were!

Our children, especially our teens, fight an incredible battle every single day. The world is at their literal fingertips 24/7 and what it tells them about their identity isn't anything that will give them solid ground to stand on. 

So we need to give that Truth to them. Again and again.

Who are they? They are a child of God, a treasured member of their family, and a representative of themselves, their families, and Christ. 

Whose are they? They are God's. The maker of the universe. The same One who created the oceans, the mountains, the sun, and the moon. The One who created them uniquely with and for a purpose. Who calls them wonderful and beloved. 

⛔They do not belong to the world. ⛔And the world has no right to tell them differently. 👉But, if we, as parents, don't give them these truths and weapons to fight a very broken world, we may lose them to its brokenness. 😭

Give them hugs, spend time with them, talk, laugh, create memories ... but above all, remind them exactly who and Whose they are. Then pray like crazy! 😘💛
"So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord "So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty." -Zechariah 4:6

Whether you are worn out and weary wondering how things will get done. Or you are striving, pushing, or willing something you want to happen. 🌟It will only get done through God's strength. 🌟

The Spirit of the Lord is the strength behind your situation. He has the ultimate say in the matter. Hand it over to Him. Join Him by working with Him, not against. 
Listen. 
Lean in. 
And trust. 
😘
Jesus is my sunshine 💛 When I keep my eyes and Jesus is my sunshine 💛 When I keep my eyes and thoughts on Him and His Truth, the darkness of shadows do not have power over me. 

So if today the darkness seems too heavy, turn your face toward the sunshine. Hope will meet you there. 🌞
If the unsteadiness of this world is causing anxie If the unsteadiness of this world is causing anxiety to build within you, there is a way to be unshaken. 

It's not a one-time deal. It's a longing in our hearts to rest in the One who is in control of it all and loves us like crazy.  It's a faith that surrenders our concerns and control in trust. 

🌟It all starts in prayer. The more I pray, the more peace I find. And when I get all wrapped up in the things going on around me and forget to pray, I feel the pressure rise. God hears us and answers our prayers. 

🛐 Dear Jesus, 
Today I humbly come to You in acknowledgment of how little I really have under control. The world is turned upside down and my peace wavers. Anxiety wants to take over. But I know that You are God and You are on the throne. You are bigger than any calamity or struggle I may ever face. 

Father, I want to rest in the knowledge that I am a child of God. I am Yours. So, today I set the reflection of the world down and pick up Your reflection — calm, steady, and unwavering. A reflection of righteousness, love, and mercy. 

Make me whole in You, Jesus. Make my heart overflow with You. 

In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

✝"Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
 I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
 And when you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
 it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
 The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
 all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
 trade the creation just for you.” 
-Isaiah 43:2-4 MSG
Does the Bible confuse you a bit? 🤷‍♀ Do yo Does the Bible confuse you a bit? 🤷‍♀ Do you wonder what it REALLY says about certain topics? Are there questions you've wanted to know but for one reason or another have hesitated to ask? ❓❓❓

🌟I've been writing my latest series because I've been there with those questions. I remember when I began reading my Bible, it didn't always make sense to me. Sometimes even now, I need to pull out all my resources to help me understand something! 

‼‼There is a lot out here on the internet and a lot of it can guide you down the wrong path and into believing things that just are not true. And my heart is for you to know the truth about God and His Word to us, His children. 💕

➡Scroll through to see the questions I've covered so far. If any resonate, jump on over to the series and get some of the answers you are looking for. Then, share them with someone else you know who may be wondering about the same thing or needing encouragement in that area. And of course, if you have any additional questions, don't hesitate to rea.ch out.

You can use this link or by my link in bio.
www.lorischumaker.com/big-bible-questions/
Happy Easter! May today remind you of the hope th Happy Easter!

May today remind you of the hope that always lives. Three days before what we now call Easter Sunday, it seemed all was lost. Darkness prevailed. Jesus died on the cross. Grief echoed throughout the land. 

But as the sun rose on the third day, it was found that death did not conquer Hope after all.  In victory, Jesus rose from the dead. Light conquered darkness for all of eternity. 

So, rise up with bold and courageous hope today and every day. Jesus claimed victory for you and me and everyone who calls Him Savior. ✝

"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26
Last month this guy turned 20! 🎂🎉 It was the Last month this guy turned 20! 🎂🎉 It was the first birthday I didn't spend in person with him. 😥Our family was supposed to be together but flight delays and closed airports didn't get us all home in time so I could give him my great big momma bear hug! 

This year has taught all of us so much. We've grown individually and as a family in many ways. ➡Life challenges never go without meaning. After all, in the fire is where iron is sharpened. 🔥

I am so proud of the man Zach is becoming. When we lost my father, Zach was there for me and for my mom. Even now, because he knows how lonely she feels and how desperately she is missing Grandpa, he calls Grandma late every night just so she has someone that says goodnight to her. It's only a few minutes each night, but those few minutes mean the world to her. All while working a gazillion hours each week growing his resume and interviewing thousands, and keeping up with his classes at GCU. (if you love basketball, make sure to follow him for all his latest interviews with the best players across the world!)

You make your momma so proud, Z!  It's that teary-eyed and gushy kind of proud that makes me so thankful that God allows me to be your momma. And that He keeps listening to my prayers and working in and through you. 

This year and every year after I pray these things for you. That you:
🌟Keep chasing God and all the things of Him because if you do, all the other things will fall into place. 
🌟Keep trusting Him to work both the good and the bad together for a good. 
🌟Never forget He has a plan. If you live each day for Him and His glory, He will walk you through and to all He has for you in that plan. 

I love you, bud! 💕💕💕💕
Only 10 days until this conference! Local Phoenix Only 10 days until this conference! Local Phoenix Friends, don't miss a day to grow, to refresh, to connect, and to celebrate a purposely designed YOU! 💖

I thought the best way to tell you more about it is to share with you Sheila Arrington's heart behind her event:
⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

"Life of Purpose is not merely a concept it is a life of intentional practice!  During this conference, you will have real and practical access to proven strategies, interactive workshops, seasoned teachers, and coaches, tools, resources, and prayer. 

Sis, God brought me out of my pit into His purpose for my life and He wants the same for you. Let us help you.

Learn how to step out of emotional pain and be healed of heart wounds that have kept you off balance or frozen in your tracks. Lay a spiritual foundation, find your true identity in Christ.

God has placed upon my heart to call His daughters together and that they may walk in your royal position of purpose that grants you access into places you could never dream of walking into before.

Sis, take the next step to be free in your purpose, free in your soul, free in your vision.

Join us now don’t wait!" 🤝🙌

🌟Get all the details and register at www.SheilaArringtonMinistries.com/Conference 🌟
It’s been awhile since I’ve made a social medi It’s been awhile since I’ve made a social media video. But it’s also been awhile since I’ve truly been active anywhere on social media!

But that is changing! I needed the time to process through all the loss and trials of the last year. And although I know I’m not finished with that process, I feel joy coursing through my soul once again. 

It’s perfect timing, too, because I’m speaking for a breakout session at the Purposely Designed Conference in Phoenix, Az on Saturday April 23rd from 8:30 am - 3:00 pm. 

And it’s in person which makes it even better! 🥳

So, if any of these questions resonate anywhere in your soul, REGISTER!! ❤️

1. Do you feel stuck and in the pits? 
2. Are you holding on to your mistakes that can actually hinder you from your distinctive purpose? 
3. Do you feel like your life is not going where it should be? 
4. Are you ready to get unstuck, and move forward? 
4. Are you ready to step out of the pit and into purpose?
5. Do you need a day to focus on you and to tune out a noisy and demanding world? 

➡️Find out more about my session by listening to my video 
Or 
➡️ register today at www.SheilaArringtonMinistries.com/conference
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