How do I reconcile my hope with my acceptance?
My hope says that healing is coming…or at least that things will get better.
My acceptance says that things are as they are…now and maybe forever.
I know it’s possible. I believe there is a place of balance between the two. I believe God has a resting place right there in the middle that allows families to find peace. To thrive.
But, I’ll be real. I am struggling to find that place. There are moments I think I have it. Even days. But in complete honesty, more often than not I do not have that reconciliation. My hope and my acceptance are butting heads and peace is not resting in my heart.
I guess it is because the black and white portion of my personality views acceptance as giving up. If I stop teaching, correcting, and monitoring all the things that I see as obstacles in my daughter’s ability to have independence and success in her life, it feels as if I have, in a sense, given up.
And what happens in the future? Do I look back in regret and wonder if I had pushed through and persisted in yet another obstacle, would it have helped? Did I accept too soon? Which obstacles do I deem important and which are those to let go?
But our family is at a point of mental and emotional burnout. Something must give for our family to thrive. And I believe it lies in acceptance.
Reconciling hope is not an acceptance that says “I give up”, but an acceptance that keeps hope alive. A hope that is rooted in the Lord because His hope is eternal. It is a promise. His hope is the only hope that is authentic and unwavering.And so, Lord, where do I put my hope?
My only hope is in you.
Psalm 39:7
I know that so many amazing families have already walked this unknown road. I know that you have gone through these emotional phases of adjustment. You have ached and then found peace. You have cried and then found joy. Would you please share with me in the comment section below your stories of reconciling hope and acceptance? Real stories from real people have such an incredible impact on others in the trenches. Your stories are a conduit of that hope the Lord has for us. And I thank you for being that conduit…
I’m following this post. I’m in the exact place you are right now and I’m feeling the same way. I appreciate you putting words to the struggle and I hope others comment with how they have come to terms and what that looks like in their lives.
Hi Laura,
Thank you so much for your comment. I know, from first hand experience, plus that of the many adoptive, foster, and special needs moms I have talked with that this is a struggle many parents face. I was hoping, as well, that people would share their stories! I’d love to connect with you, though, and be of any encouragement I can! Please feel free to email me!
Lori
You are in such a hard place right now, Lori. I will be praying for you. Thanks for sharing your vulnerability at the DifferentDream.com Tuesday link share.
Jolene, Thank you so very much for the prayers and the opportunity to share.
I have an inner circle of women that are atudying Job together in this exact same vein, my hope is that my family (ex-husband and 3 children) will find peace in the new normal as we struggle 4 years in with navigating this insanely complicated experience. My friend made a great statement yeaterday in our study time together, she said, “God’s promises are sure, we just can’t tell Him how to deliver them.” My hope has to be found in the Promiser above the promise, my heart breaks over the loss of our core family and the struggle to reconcile the impact out decision had had on our lives compared with what God is asking right now (to love, forgive, to hope in reconciliation and redemption). It’s painful to continually hope in something there is no real guarantee to receive. Accepting the right now, just for today and allowing my heart to be broken for the things of God is a daily struggle. Studying Job has helped tremendously and gives me courage to take one day at a time and look to Him in the midst of the storm when my eyes can barely see who is calling me because of the sounds of the storm, the height of the waves, the fear of the unknown. I want predictability, assurity, guarantees and God gives me none of those, only for today, right now, this moment, turning my heart towards Him and accepting that His power is made perfect in my weakness and the He will make all things good in His time, but quieting my soul to not define and describe for God what His definition of ‘good’ is nor what His timing of His good should be. Bless you for walking this out and thank you for sharing.
Arianne,
Thank you so much for sharing. I love your faith. I love how you have a circle of friends studying the Word, as well. I think support is CRUCIAL to thriving in the toughest of times. We need our Jesus-with-skin-on friends sharing His love and wisdom with us, right?
I will be praying for you, as well, as you navigate to your new normal and find that peace!
Many hugs,
Lori