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Lori Schumaker

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Home » Find a Hope-filled Series by Lori Schumaker » #ChosenandWorthy » 3 Truths to Remember When Marriage Gets Hard

3 Truths to Remember When Marriage Gets Hard

by Lori Schumaker in #ChosenandWorthy

If you are married, you’ve been there.

Because marriage is not easy.

Not all of us have weathered the really hard side of marriage, but we’ve all quickly come to realize its challenges. Today, my friend, Rebekah shares 3 Truths that you need to lock deep in your soul whether you are in a season of the easy marriage or you are in a season of the difficult marriage. These Truths will only make you stronger. They will ground you and protect you. And they will remind you that you are #ChosenandWorthy.

Rebekah is one of my heroes. She’s been there in the trenches, my friends. She’s felt the deep hurt and yet she didn’t crumble or even make the situation worse. She stood on TRUTH and today as a stronger, more vibrant and determined woman than ever before, she shares with you what she has learned along the way.



3 Truths to Remember When Marriage Gets Hard | Encouragement for a Difficult Marriage | Rebekah Hallberg for #ChosenandWorthy

So many things have changed since that day. Some days I feel like my life is never really going to look the same, ever again. And if that’s where I focus, my story seems quite hopeless. So I choose to intentionally lift my eyes and remember that my help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121)

That October morning dawned full of sunshine and full of hope. I looked out the window at the crisp, clear morning. It was less than ten minutes later, though, when the knock on the door changed everything.

My marriage of 14 years crumbled in front of my eyes. The unexpected truth came out and my life fell apart in that moment.

I had to find a way to keep going, even though my marriage hit rock bottom. I had to find a way to sort through the mess and see the truth.

3 truths to remember when marriage gets hard #HopefortheHurtingWife #ChosenandWorthy Click To Tweet

3 Truths to Remember When Marriage Gets Hard

1. Jesus loves me.

This seems like a very simplistic truth to me, but sometimes those are the truths we need to cling to.

Jesus loves me may sound very simplistic, but often a truth we need to cling to #HopefortheHurtingWife #ChosenandWorthy Click To Tweet

God sent His Son to Earth for us. Not for us once we got our life together. Not for us once we managed to perfect our marriage.

He sent Jesus because His first and primary concern was that we knew He loved us and wanted to make a way for us to be in heaven with Him.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
-John 3:16-17

This is such a well-known passage that many times we skip over it because we all know it by heart. This is a passage to cling to, though, when we struggle with our husbands. When marriage is rocky, that loving feeling isn’t always there and we often find ourselves feeling unloved. What a beautiful reminder that Jesus loves me!

2. Your identity is in Christ.

My identity was wrapped up in my family and my church. Neither of those are bad things. I committed to following the Lord’s will for my family and ministry, both of which came easily to me.

My husband and I had various struggles through the years, but we communicated and worked through these struggles together. To say that I was shocked on that October morning would probably be an understatement. The questions that flew past my head left me dazed and bewildered.

“No, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” was the answer I gave more than once, while watching my husband’s face fill with shame and guilt.

This was a troubling and traumatic time in my life. Many changes were coming and we did not know what was ahead. I did not even know whether my husband would stay with us. There were days and nights that I feared he might not have the fight in him to be able to stay. I faced the possibility of being a single mother. How could God have this as part of my life?

I turned to Him. I took every opportunity to seek His comfort and direction. No matter what happened, I knew that I needed to root and ground buy tamoxifen citrate research chemicals myself in God. My identity needed to be “Child of God”. No matter what other title I had, I needed to find my security in being a child of God.

In the face of a crumbling marriage, she knew she needed to root and ground herself in Christ. #HopefortheHurtingWife #ChosenandWorthy Click To Tweet

This meant many days of being absolutely still. I read God’s promises to protect me, to care for me, to love me. Though I had not strayed from those, I determined to make those the most important promises in my life.

No matter what we face, we can find security in being a child of God!

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
-Psalm 139:13-14

3 Truths to Remember When Marriage Gets Hard | Encouragement for a Difficult Marriage | Rebekah Hallberg for #ChosenandWorthy

3. God has a plan for your life.

It can be hard to remember this in the midst of a struggling marriage. We have various outlets where we can use the talents and abilities God gave us. In marriage, we often feel that we serve as a team or parent as a team, and those are both true in many situations.

But, dear friend, God has a plan for your life. You, as an individual, were created for a purpose. When marriage gets rocky, it may seem that our life is without a plan or purpose. Nothing is farther from the truth, though!

Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
-Psalm 139:16

God still has a purpose for your life whether your marriage is restored or not.

As you seek your identity in Him, He will show you how you can be a blessing to others.

Be aware as you walk through life. Perhaps you can encourage a friend, or maybe you can help a new mother. It might be to simply smile at someone at the store. Or maybe you’ll come across an elderly couple who could use a helping hand.

Be open to God’s leading in your life. Be aware of those around you. And when God prompts your heart, step out in faith.

Keep these truths in mind when marriage gets hard. God is still at work, even in the tough times.



God gave Rebekah a front row seat to the work of His redemption in her marriage. She shares not only her heartache, but also her great hope with other wives so they might know God still redeems, even in the toughest of circumstances. Now, years later, she praises God for restoring her marriage. Rebekah co-leads an online community for struggling wives around the world and shares encouragement for those who face the daunting task of surviving the “for worse” of marriage. You can learn more about her ministry to wives at her blog, Sharing Redemption’s Stories. You can also follow her on Facebook and Pinterest.



Now Available! Hope for the Hurting Wife by Rebekah Hallberg and Jen Stults

Read more about this hope-filled book HERE! Or head right on over to Amazon and purchase your copy HERE!

Hope for the Hurting Wife | book

Hope for the Hurting Wife is a devotional book with 30 days of scriptural encouragement for wives who are struggling in their marriages. While Hope for the Hurting Wife caters to wives dealing with significant marriage issues, the content is also useful for those who simply wish for a stronger marriage relationship. The authors use a story-telling approach combined with scriptural truth, as well as practical application to share hope for your marriage.



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Filed Under: #ChosenandWorthy, Guest Posts, Hope, Identity, Marriage, Redemption, Uncategorized
Tagged: #ChosenandWorthy, chosen and worthy, difficult marriage, divorce, Hope, Hope for the Hurting Wife, identity, identity in Christ, marriage is hard, Rebekah Hallberg, Sharing Redemption's Stories, troubled marriage, truth

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Comments

  1. Joanne Viola (@JViola79) says

    at

    Rebekah, I am sorry for the pain and loss you have experienced. I am grateful God has led you to share and use this all to His glory and to the encouragement of others. May He bless your book and get it into the hands of all who need hope in their marriages. Blessings!

    Reply
    • Lori says

      at

      I agree, Joanne – there’s so much hurt, but so much hope in her story! Only God!

      Reply
  2. Donna Reidland says

    at

    Marriage is hard and some times are harder than others, but God is always faithful. Thanks for sharing these important truths. I pray that they touch the hearts of those who need them right now.

    Reply
    • Lori says

      at

      Thank you, Donna. Yes, some times in our marriages are certainly more difficult than others. What a blessing to look back and see how we’ve come through some of those times! Have a great week!

      Reply
  3. CrystalStorms.me says

    at

    What an important reminder, Rebekah, that an earth shattering discovery doesn’t have to lead to our identity shattering with it. My heart goes out to you, but I love that you share your story for His glory.
    Beautiful truth: “No matter what other title I had, I needed to find my security in being a child of God.”

    Thank you, Lori, for sharing such an encouraging series. Love the title: Chosen and Worthy!

    Reply
    • Lori says

      at

      Thank you, Crystal! Yes, it’s quite a story, and it can be tough to find our identity in being a child of God. But like Rebekah’s pointing out, that’s where our hope has got to be anchored! Blessings!

      Reply

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Lori Schumaker
They tried to roll their eyes at me each morning, They tried to roll their eyes at me each morning, but I still saw the little sparkle that told me the words still mattered. No matter how "uncool" I was, they loved being reminded of who and whose they were!

Our children, especially our teens, fight an incredible battle every single day. The world is at their literal fingertips 24/7 and what it tells them about their identity isn't anything that will give them solid ground to stand on. 

So we need to give that Truth to them. Again and again.

Who are they? They are a child of God, a treasured member of their family, and a representative of themselves, their families, and Christ. 

Whose are they? They are God's. The maker of the universe. The same One who created the oceans, the mountains, the sun, and the moon. The One who created them uniquely with and for a purpose. Who calls them wonderful and beloved. 

⛔They do not belong to the world. ⛔And the world has no right to tell them differently. 👉But, if we, as parents, don't give them these truths and weapons to fight a very broken world, we may lose them to its brokenness. 😭

Give them hugs, spend time with them, talk, laugh, create memories ... but above all, remind them exactly who and Whose they are. Then pray like crazy! 😘💛
"So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord "So he said to me, “This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty." -Zechariah 4:6

Whether you are worn out and weary wondering how things will get done. Or you are striving, pushing, or willing something you want to happen. 🌟It will only get done through God's strength. 🌟

The Spirit of the Lord is the strength behind your situation. He has the ultimate say in the matter. Hand it over to Him. Join Him by working with Him, not against. 
Listen. 
Lean in. 
And trust. 
😘
Jesus is my sunshine 💛 When I keep my eyes and Jesus is my sunshine 💛 When I keep my eyes and thoughts on Him and His Truth, the darkness of shadows do not have power over me. 

So if today the darkness seems too heavy, turn your face toward the sunshine. Hope will meet you there. 🌞
If the unsteadiness of this world is causing anxie If the unsteadiness of this world is causing anxiety to build within you, there is a way to be unshaken. 

It's not a one-time deal. It's a longing in our hearts to rest in the One who is in control of it all and loves us like crazy.  It's a faith that surrenders our concerns and control in trust. 

🌟It all starts in prayer. The more I pray, the more peace I find. And when I get all wrapped up in the things going on around me and forget to pray, I feel the pressure rise. God hears us and answers our prayers. 

🛐 Dear Jesus, 
Today I humbly come to You in acknowledgment of how little I really have under control. The world is turned upside down and my peace wavers. Anxiety wants to take over. But I know that You are God and You are on the throne. You are bigger than any calamity or struggle I may ever face. 

Father, I want to rest in the knowledge that I am a child of God. I am Yours. So, today I set the reflection of the world down and pick up Your reflection — calm, steady, and unwavering. A reflection of righteousness, love, and mercy. 

Make me whole in You, Jesus. Make my heart overflow with You. 

In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen

✝"Don’t be afraid, I’ve redeemed you.
 I’ve called your name. You’re mine.
When you’re in over your head, I’ll be there with you.
 And when you’re in rough waters, you will not go down.
When you’re between a rock and a hard place,
 it won’t be a dead end—
Because I am God, your personal God,
 The Holy of Israel, your Savior.
I paid a huge price for you:
 all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in!
That’s how much you mean to me!
That’s how much I love you!
I’d sell off the whole world to get you back,
 trade the creation just for you.” 
-Isaiah 43:2-4 MSG
Does the Bible confuse you a bit? 🤷‍♀ Do yo Does the Bible confuse you a bit? 🤷‍♀ Do you wonder what it REALLY says about certain topics? Are there questions you've wanted to know but for one reason or another have hesitated to ask? ❓❓❓

🌟I've been writing my latest series because I've been there with those questions. I remember when I began reading my Bible, it didn't always make sense to me. Sometimes even now, I need to pull out all my resources to help me understand something! 

‼‼There is a lot out here on the internet and a lot of it can guide you down the wrong path and into believing things that just are not true. And my heart is for you to know the truth about God and His Word to us, His children. 💕

➡Scroll through to see the questions I've covered so far. If any resonate, jump on over to the series and get some of the answers you are looking for. Then, share them with someone else you know who may be wondering about the same thing or needing encouragement in that area. And of course, if you have any additional questions, don't hesitate to rea.ch out.

You can use this link or by my link in bio.
www.lorischumaker.com/big-bible-questions/
Happy Easter! May today remind you of the hope th Happy Easter!

May today remind you of the hope that always lives. Three days before what we now call Easter Sunday, it seemed all was lost. Darkness prevailed. Jesus died on the cross. Grief echoed throughout the land. 

But as the sun rose on the third day, it was found that death did not conquer Hope after all.  In victory, Jesus rose from the dead. Light conquered darkness for all of eternity. 

So, rise up with bold and courageous hope today and every day. Jesus claimed victory for you and me and everyone who calls Him Savior. ✝

"Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” -John 11:25-26
Last month this guy turned 20! 🎂🎉 It was the Last month this guy turned 20! 🎂🎉 It was the first birthday I didn't spend in person with him. 😥Our family was supposed to be together but flight delays and closed airports didn't get us all home in time so I could give him my great big momma bear hug! 

This year has taught all of us so much. We've grown individually and as a family in many ways. ➡Life challenges never go without meaning. After all, in the fire is where iron is sharpened. 🔥

I am so proud of the man Zach is becoming. When we lost my father, Zach was there for me and for my mom. Even now, because he knows how lonely she feels and how desperately she is missing Grandpa, he calls Grandma late every night just so she has someone that says goodnight to her. It's only a few minutes each night, but those few minutes mean the world to her. All while working a gazillion hours each week growing his resume and interviewing thousands, and keeping up with his classes at GCU. (if you love basketball, make sure to follow him for all his latest interviews with the best players across the world!)

You make your momma so proud, Z!  It's that teary-eyed and gushy kind of proud that makes me so thankful that God allows me to be your momma. And that He keeps listening to my prayers and working in and through you. 

This year and every year after I pray these things for you. That you:
🌟Keep chasing God and all the things of Him because if you do, all the other things will fall into place. 
🌟Keep trusting Him to work both the good and the bad together for a good. 
🌟Never forget He has a plan. If you live each day for Him and His glory, He will walk you through and to all He has for you in that plan. 

I love you, bud! 💕💕💕💕
Only 10 days until this conference! Local Phoenix Only 10 days until this conference! Local Phoenix Friends, don't miss a day to grow, to refresh, to connect, and to celebrate a purposely designed YOU! 💖

I thought the best way to tell you more about it is to share with you Sheila Arrington's heart behind her event:
⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇⬇

"Life of Purpose is not merely a concept it is a life of intentional practice!  During this conference, you will have real and practical access to proven strategies, interactive workshops, seasoned teachers, and coaches, tools, resources, and prayer. 

Sis, God brought me out of my pit into His purpose for my life and He wants the same for you. Let us help you.

Learn how to step out of emotional pain and be healed of heart wounds that have kept you off balance or frozen in your tracks. Lay a spiritual foundation, find your true identity in Christ.

God has placed upon my heart to call His daughters together and that they may walk in your royal position of purpose that grants you access into places you could never dream of walking into before.

Sis, take the next step to be free in your purpose, free in your soul, free in your vision.

Join us now don’t wait!" 🤝🙌

🌟Get all the details and register at www.SheilaArringtonMinistries.com/Conference 🌟
It’s been awhile since I’ve made a social medi It’s been awhile since I’ve made a social media video. But it’s also been awhile since I’ve truly been active anywhere on social media!

But that is changing! I needed the time to process through all the loss and trials of the last year. And although I know I’m not finished with that process, I feel joy coursing through my soul once again. 

It’s perfect timing, too, because I’m speaking for a breakout session at the Purposely Designed Conference in Phoenix, Az on Saturday April 23rd from 8:30 am - 3:00 pm. 

And it’s in person which makes it even better! 🥳

So, if any of these questions resonate anywhere in your soul, REGISTER!! ❤️

1. Do you feel stuck and in the pits? 
2. Are you holding on to your mistakes that can actually hinder you from your distinctive purpose? 
3. Do you feel like your life is not going where it should be? 
4. Are you ready to get unstuck, and move forward? 
4. Are you ready to step out of the pit and into purpose?
5. Do you need a day to focus on you and to tune out a noisy and demanding world? 

➡️Find out more about my session by listening to my video 
Or 
➡️ register today at www.SheilaArringtonMinistries.com/conference
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