3 Truths to Remember When Marriage Gets Hard
If you are married, you’ve been there.
Not all of us have weathered the really hard side of marriage, but we’ve all quickly come to realize its challenges. Today, my friend, Rebekah shares 3 Truths that you need to lock deep in your soul whether you are in a season of the easy marriage or you are in a season of the difficult marriage. These Truths will only make you stronger. They will ground you and protect you. And they will remind you that you are #ChosenandWorthy.
Rebekah is one of my heroes. She’s been there in the trenches, my friends. She’s felt the deep hurt and yet she didn’t crumble or even make the situation worse. She stood on TRUTH and today as a stronger, more vibrant and determined woman than ever before, she shares with you what she has learned along the way.
So many things have changed since that day. Some days I feel like my life is never really going to look the same, ever again. And if that’s where I focus, my story seems quite hopeless. So I choose to intentionally lift my eyes and remember that my help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 121)
That October morning dawned full of sunshine and full of hope. I looked out the window at the crisp, clear morning. It was less than ten minutes later, though, when the knock on the door changed everything.
My marriage of 14 years crumbled in front of my eyes. The unexpected truth came out and my life fell apart in that moment.
I had to find a way to keep going, even though my marriage hit rock bottom. I had to find a way to sort through the mess and see the truth.
[bctt tweet=”3 truths to remember when marriage gets hard #HopefortheHurtingWife #ChosenandWorthy” username=”lori_schumaker”]3 Truths to Remember When Marriage Gets Hard
1. Jesus loves me.
This seems like a very simplistic truth to me, but sometimes those are the truths we need to cling to.
[bctt tweet=”Jesus loves me may sound very simplistic, but often a truth we need to cling to #HopefortheHurtingWife #ChosenandWorthy” username=”lori_schumaker”]God sent His Son to Earth for us. Not for us once we got our life together. Not for us once we managed to perfect our marriage.
He sent Jesus because His first and primary concern was that we knew He loved us and wanted to make a way for us to be in heaven with Him.
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.
-John 3:16-17
This is such a well-known passage that many times we skip over it because we all know it by heart. This is a passage to cling to, though, when we struggle with our husbands. When marriage is rocky, that loving feeling isn’t always there and we often find ourselves feeling unloved. What a beautiful reminder that Jesus loves me!
2. Your identity is in Christ.
My identity was wrapped up in my family and my church. Neither of those are bad things. I committed to following the Lord’s will for my family and ministry, both of which came easily to me.
My husband and I had various struggles through the years, but we communicated and worked through these struggles together. To say that I was shocked on that October morning would probably be an understatement. The questions that flew past my head left me dazed and bewildered.
“No, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” was the answer I gave more than once, while watching my husband’s face fill with shame and guilt.
This was a troubling and traumatic time in my life. Many changes were coming and we did not know what was ahead. I did not even know whether my husband would stay with us. There were days and nights that I feared he might not have the fight in him to be able to stay. I faced the possibility of being a single mother. How could God have this as part of my life?
I turned to Him. I took every opportunity to seek His comfort and direction. No matter what happened, I knew that I needed to root and ground myself in God. My identity needed to be “Child of God”. No matter what other title I had, I needed to find my security in being a child of God.
[bctt tweet=”In the face of a crumbling marriage, she knew she needed to root and ground herself in Christ. #HopefortheHurtingWife #ChosenandWorthy” username=””]This meant many days of being absolutely still. I read God’s promises to protect me, to care for me, to love me. Though I had not strayed from those, I determined to make those the most important promises in my life.
No matter what we face, we can find security in being a child of God!
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
-Psalm 139:13-14
3. God has a plan for your life.
It can be hard to remember this in the midst of a struggling marriage. We have various outlets where we can use the talents and abilities God gave us. In marriage, we often feel that we serve as a team or parent as a team, and those are both true in many situations.
But, dear friend, God has a plan for your life. You, as an individual, were created for a purpose. When marriage gets rocky, it may seem that our life is without a plan or purpose. Nothing is farther from the truth, though!
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
-Psalm 139:16
God still has a purpose for your life whether your marriage is restored or not.
As you seek your identity in Him, He will show you how you can be a blessing to others.
Be aware as you walk through life. Perhaps you can encourage a friend, or maybe you can help a new mother. It might be to simply smile at someone at the store. Or maybe you’ll come across an elderly couple who could use a helping hand.
Be open to God’s leading in your life. Be aware of those around you. And when God prompts your heart, step out in faith.
Keep these truths in mind when marriage gets hard. God is still at work, even in the tough times.
God gave Rebekah a front row seat to the work of His redemption in her marriage. She shares not only her heartache, but also her great hope with other wives so they might know God still redeems, even in the toughest of circumstances. Now, years later, she praises God for restoring her marriage. Rebekah co-leads an online community for struggling wives around the world and shares encouragement for those who face the daunting task of surviving the “for worse” of marriage. You can learn more about her ministry to wives at her blog, Sharing Redemption’s Stories. You can also follow her on Facebook and Pinterest.
Now Available! Hope for the Hurting Wife by Rebekah Hallberg and Jen Stults
Read more about this hope-filled book HERE! Or head right on over to Amazon and purchase your copy HERE!
Hope for the Hurting Wife is a devotional book with 30 days of scriptural encouragement for wives who are struggling in their marriages. While Hope for the Hurting Wife caters to wives dealing with significant marriage issues, the content is also useful for those who simply wish for a stronger marriage relationship. The authors use a story-telling approach combined with scriptural truth, as well as practical application to share hope for your marriage.
Could you use more tools and resources to help you embrace a healthy identity?
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Rebekah, I am sorry for the pain and loss you have experienced. I am grateful God has led you to share and use this all to His glory and to the encouragement of others. May He bless your book and get it into the hands of all who need hope in their marriages. Blessings!
I agree, Joanne – there’s so much hurt, but so much hope in her story! Only God!
Marriage is hard and some times are harder than others, but God is always faithful. Thanks for sharing these important truths. I pray that they touch the hearts of those who need them right now.
Thank you, Donna. Yes, some times in our marriages are certainly more difficult than others. What a blessing to look back and see how we’ve come through some of those times! Have a great week!
What an important reminder, Rebekah, that an earth shattering discovery doesn’t have to lead to our identity shattering with it. My heart goes out to you, but I love that you share your story for His glory.
Beautiful truth: “No matter what other title I had, I needed to find my security in being a child of God.”
Thank you, Lori, for sharing such an encouraging series. Love the title: Chosen and Worthy!
Thank you, Crystal! Yes, it’s quite a story, and it can be tough to find our identity in being a child of God. But like Rebekah’s pointing out, that’s where our hope has got to be anchored! Blessings!