Longing for Daily Peace
Although I played the part quite well, peace was something that eluded me for much of my life. I was quick with a smile and loved laughter, but there was something I was hiding.
Within myself lived conflicted moments I’d mull over for days. Sleepless nights and even nightmares told me the thoughts were not in control. Thoughts of falling short of a requirement or not living up to expectations. Fears of doing something wrong that would cause the falling apart of everything I cared about.
No. Peace wasn’t settled within my spirit.
Or my heart.
Or my mind.
I’d try to control all the pieces to the puzzle. Juggling them to and fro, hoping that when they landed, they would somehow all be in perfect order. But I knew the truth. I couldn’t control everything in life and eventually, all that I was juggling would end up crashing to the floor.
That lifestyle didn’t represent the freedom available in Christ.
There is Hope
It’s not been easy and I’m still in the trenches, but friends, I’m here today to tell you there is hope.
There is hope for peace.
Peace when fear threatens to keep you stuck.
Peace when failure inevitably happens.
Peace in the midst of conflict.
My personal journey to peace represents a marathon. One where I’ve crossed several mile markers, but not quite the finish line I long for. But holding onto those mile markers is important. Celebrating each one and the work God is doing is what progress is all about!
So, in the spirit of celebrating #MomentsofHope, I must celebrate when God joyfully points to that latest mile marker!
Toxic Discovery
A month ago, we found out we had high levels of toxic mold in our home. It was actually an answer to prayer because after months and months of doctors for my son and myself, we had an answer for the rapid and unexplainable decline in our health. It was and is cause for celebration because there is new hope now! But it also means a lot of remediation and reconstruction.
Add that to my already full schedule of maintaining medical needs for my daughter’s special needs, school for all three children, sports, and their regular health maintenance.
And to top it all off, these last couple of months have been an unusually big season of travel for our family. (All good and fun adventures, but an added dimension to the responsibility lists)
But last night is when God showed me the mile marker.
I sat in an airport waiting with my daughter as our plane delayed over and over again. Mysteriously, as we had walked through security, my telephone stopped working. No calls, no texts, no nothing.
Stuck in the airport with a little one who didn’t want to be there and no phone. Argh!
For a moment, I felt the anxiety creeping in and the tears wanting to overflow.
Time for Praise
But then I stopped. Instead, I praised God for a wallet, restaurant, free wi-fi and my computer. I popped onto my computer and called on my favorite prayer warriors!
In that instant, the mile marker memories flashed through my mind.
My husband’s comment to our friends that I’d been a champ throughout this mold process.
The interaction with a friend that hadn’t left me sleepless.
My sweet friend’s laughter as she witnessed me living by the seat of my pants in a new Uber experience that I had left to the very last moment!
It was then that I realized certain areas of control and fear no longer have their hold over me.
As I looked down at my daughter’s face, I knew God’s peace was in me. He’d brought me so very far in this pursuit of peace. In this moment the buttons that had the potential to flare my anxiety, were no longer pushable. My sweet girl wasn’t going to get a Mama who was losing it. She’d get a Mama whose compass was locked on peace and who could be the rock-solid comfort she needed in order to know that everything was going to work out just fine. Even if we DID have to wait in the airport for 8 1/2 hours!
There is Peace with God
Friends, God’s peace is there. It takes a lot of work to surrender all our worries. To re-wire our brains to think in a different way. To align our lives with the Word of God. But it can happen. Jesus is there and He doesn’t leave us the way we were. He reaches in and fills the places of fear and insecurity. It’s His promise. He told me so and He’s telling you, too!
And, just so you know …
I’m so glad you’re here. ?
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I find it so precious that while Jesus was on HIs way to death, He was ministering to the fragile hearts of His dear friends. So thankful for this record of His care — I need to be more intentional about not “let[ting] my heart be troubled.”
Thinking of it from that perspective is very humbling, Michele. Thank you!
Lori, that image made me get a little teary. So perfect and needed, my friend!
Big hugs to you, Kylie!!
Lori, I am so sorry for all that you are going through and grateful that our Lord is keeping you in His peace. You made a powerful point – we must be intentional and deliberate in aligning our lives with God’s Word and thus, letting Him fill us with His peace. Thank you for sharing your thoughts as they were needed today! Blessings!
Thanks so much, Joanne!
I’m so sorry for all the troubles you and your family have been facing, Lori. But, like you said, there is so much be grateful for among the hardness of life. When we make praying and looking for the blessings our focus, God miraculously lifts our spirits and sometimes even intervenes with our circumstances. I’m just glad that you and your family are home safe, that your home is being made safer (with this new discovery–no wonder you were having health issues!), and that you turned to the Lord in this tense moment so that your sweet daughter sees a mom who trusts God. Love it and thanks for the linkup, my friend!
Isn’t it amazing how He does that, Beth? I am so thankful for finding the answers to our health problems. The house is a bit tore up and reconstruction will take a while, but the relief surpasses that frustration by far!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
God’s peace during those difficult moments is such a balm, isn’t it? It takes us being mindful (as you were) to call upon that peace. So often, I forget. I forget that I’m not alone, that God’s peace is with me. It can sometimes be an act of the will for me to receive God’s peace.
As always, Lori, thanks for hosting this encouraging party each week.
Love,
Patti
Thank you so much for joining in the party each week, Patti! You are not alone. I think we all will need to intentionally call upon that peace over and over again. It’s so easy to let it go and it is such a whisper the enemy loves to recite. We slip back but then we simply refute the enemy’s whispers and claim the peace of Christ again and again.
Hugs,
Lori
Lori, I loved this! I could relate completely! And I will remember that my journey to peace is a marathon and celebrate the passing of every mile marker. So glad you’re back at home and that most of your weekend was a huge blessing. And like much of life, the part that wasn’t, became a great blog post! Ah, the writer’s life! 🙂
Isn’t it funny how God gives us that content? Sometimes I envision Him as having quite the sense of humor!
Hugs,
Lori
i chuckled when you said: it’s takes a lot of work to surrender all our worries.
yep it does. funny that. i don’t think it’s supposed to be a lot of work to surrender but it does gets easier w/ practice. airports and kids give us all the practice we need!
ps a speaker i heard said: The main responsibility of a believer is yieldedness.
work=responsibility
I like that thought, Sue! I love the use of the wording there! And, yes 🙂 airports and kids for sure do that!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Sometimes we have to fight for our peace. I was thinking this morning that “hope” isn’t always my default, but I want it to be. Thanks for sharing from real life, Lori. Those moments when we switchback are the most learning ones.
You always bless me with so much wisdom, Lisa! Thank you!
Lori- thank you for the encouragement today! Anxiety has been flailing over here. Just lots of stuff. Sometimes it’s the little stuff that rocks me to the core more than the big stuff.
I need God every moment so desperately. The prayer is great and I will be printing that off!
Thanks for hosting the linkup! I’m needing a #momentofhope today!
Julie
Oh, Julie, I am stopping to pray right now. I’m sorry I didn’t see the comment until today! I am praying God settles His peace over your heart erasing the anxiety. That He give you strength and wisdom to take the next step in canceling out the whispers of the enemy and filling your mind with statements of Truth about each situation. I wish I could jump right through this screen and give you a great big hug!
Blessings and hugs,
Lori
I’m so glad that God reaches in and fills the places of fear and anxiety. As an “overanxious planner” it was a great learning experience for me to watch someone who can trust the Lord moment by “unplanned” moment–especially the “Uber” moment that was left to the last minute. Thank you for showing me your fearless trust in God. Thank you for showing me how you fiercely love your daughter. I will forever be changed. God is shining through you. Love you, friend!
Val, I too, am forever changed by your love and kindness. I am just so thankful God has built such precious friendships through our ministries. Do you know how good God was? He even got us to the shower as the 2nd arrivals! How about that? He’s just so good! Love you, my friend! Hugs,Lori
I’m praying that God will restore your whole family to complete health and that this fall will be a time of renewal for body, mind, and spirit. As believers we know that our hope and peace don’t rest in our circumstances but these situations have be really hard. I’m thankful that God is taking you to a new level of peace and I appreciate your willingness to encourage us while you walk through this journey. Blessings on you!
Thank you so much for your prayers, Angela. I treasure your friendship and am beyond thankful for how God connected our hearts! I am looking forward to the healing that is in progress!
Hugs,
Lori
Lori so beautiful. I’m learning even in the worse of times I can find something to be thankful about and love how you turned bad into something good.
Great, great post.
Thank you, Debbie! It is so true. It’s in the moments. No matter how small, every moment holds something for which we can be thankful!
Hugs,
Lori
I’m so happy for you, Lori! I know that is such a blessing when we can totally let go of the reigns and trust God for everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) in our lives! Good and bad, He is in control, and when we know that in our hearts, we can find that peace.
Thank you, sweet friend! Hugs!
Aren’t you just so thankful for those mile markers along the way that remind us of how far we’ve come and point us onward to the finish line? So thankful for the gift of peace and that Peace Himself just keeps piling it high! Praying for you in this season, friend… for healing, peace, hope, and joy!
Thank you for your prayers, Karrilee! I treasure them!
Hugs,
Lori
Man, did I need this today. The fact that I still struggle with fear of the future, insecurity that I have what it takes to do the things that God has called me to do and struggling to try and control it all so I feel like I can achieve those things, make my heart so messy. It’s frustrating after walking with the Lord for a long time and leading others that we’re still human 🙂 Thank you for your words Lori, I love the encouragement to look back and see the mile markers. We might not be where we want to be, but we’re certainly not where we used to be. So glad we found each others blogs at Holley’s link up 🙂
Hi Megan,
It is so nice to have met you and I look forward to getting to know you better! I hear ya … we want to think we have conquered these things, but in truth, I think it is something most of us will intentionally need to revisit over and over again in our lives! I’m sending up a quick prayer right now asking God to fill you with peace over your current situation and to convict your spirit that you are fully equipped to do just what He has called!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori