When Your Something Better is the Thing You Fear Most
It is such an honor to welcome Laura to the blog today as she shares her Something Better story! I’d read her blog for quite some time. I was always moved by her ministry to the single Mom. Then I received the opportunity to meet her in person and not only talk, but pray together. There is such a vulnerable, yet strong … peaceful, yet courageous spirit about her. She writes to the Mom who never dreamed her future would look as it does.
It was one of those days where everything was fine just 24 hours earlier. I blindly went along believing that life was finally settling down. That a new normal was just up ahead. That no matter what was happening around me; I would eventually get through the chaos and to the other side.
Until I received another family court notice in the mail. Another sign that my ex was determined to continue to make this road as difficult as possible. Just another reminder of how alone I was as a single mom.
And I realized that I was falling again.
Or maybe I should say failing again.
Because that’s what it felt like.
Two-and-a-half years into life as a single mom, I’m still not sure I have a handle on it. There are still moments of deep grief for what my children face. There are moments of incredible fear. Moments of pure panic at how on earth I’ll do it all, provide it all, and manage it all.
Before I was a single mom, I was the mom who could do it all with ease.
But, I realized that the life I was leading was—in all honesty—a lie I was convincing myself to believe. When reality hit, I felt as if I’d been sucker punched. This too-trusting girl took a long, hard look at her actual life and realized that it was not what she was making it seem to the rest of the world. To her extended family. To herself.
She was holding it together by so many tiny threads, manipulating each one just so, that she realized if she let even one go, it would all become a tangled, matted mess.
And that’s what it’s become.
There are moments that I’m ashamed that’s all I have to offer to anyone: a mess. And can I just tell you something? There aren’t many takers to walking alongside someone whose life looks like that.
But, there is One who has walked it from the very beginning. Even when I couldn’t admit what He was showing me was true. Even in the deep grief that followed me choosing to end my marriage. And I’ve trusted Him as He’s led me into these murky waters that I feared. Fear still. Because I trusted that in the end, there was something better that He had for me.
A life that wasn’t filled with lies and cover-ups.
That wasn’t consumed with fear of what would happen next.
A life that could allow others in.
One in which I could finally open my heart to those around me.
Can you trust Jesus as He walks you into the unknown waters of your something better? #somethingbetterseries #singlemom Share on XSometimes your something better may look like the thing you fear the most. The thing you never, ever, in a million years, wanted. Maybe it’s not even the path God originally intended for you to take. But it’s the path God needed you on in order to get to the end-place He planned all along.
I want that something better. And I bet you do too.
Having to choose a path that scares us is often the thing that keeps us stuck on the wrong road for so long. We’ll do anything to convince ourselves that we are happy on the wrong path. That we can manage the wrong path. That God actually prefers us on the wrong path.
Sometimes your something better isn’t getting what you thought you wanted. It’s what God had in mind. What is truly better for you, instead. And you just have to blindly trust Him to lead you to it.
I will say to the Lord, “You are my safe and strong place, my God, in Whom I trust.” Psalm 91:2
For the first time in probably my entire life, I’m learning how to let people love me. And it’s hard.
I struggle not to bend over backwards to make it easier on others who are against me. I struggle to face reality head on and not gloss it over as I tend to do. And I struggle not to tuck my head under the covers or run with full force away from what is up ahead.
And I do so only because it’s God’s hand that’s led me here. Regardless of how I feel about where I am, or how I came to be here—make no mistake: I am His, and He has led me here.
You are His and He led you here.Trust Him. #somethingbetterseries #singlemom #hope @laurapolk Share on XSome days, that’s the only thing I have to cling to. But, even on those hard days, it’s so much better than clinging to the lies I was gripping onto with dear life before.
Because God is on this path with me. Ahead of me. Beside me. Behind me.
Even if the starting line is not where I imagined I’d begin, the end will be so much better.
Laura Polk is a writer, speaker, and textile designer residing in North Carolina with her three children. Since becoming a single mom, her passion to minister to this group has led her to encourage successful single mom living through The Christian Single Mom on Facebook. Follow her journey through her blog or get a glimpse into her quirky thoughts and inspirations for design and writing on Pinterest.
The Something Better Series
For a total of 6 weeks, we are exploring the stepping up and stepping out toward our something better in life. Come back next week when a treasured friend of mine shares how she got unstuck and stepped into her something better after finding her fairy tale life was filled with deception. This girl is one who brightens any room into which she walks. I often refer to her as the definition of “irresistible”! I have no doubt that not only will you find her irresistible, too, but you will be encouraged to believe you, too, can find your something better!
Week
1 – What is Your Something Better?
2 – Getting Unstuck with Grace and Patience
3 – Leaving the Lies of Shame Behind
4 – When Your Something Better Is the Thing You Fear the Most
5 – Choosing Joy When Everything Falls Apart
6 – When Forgiving Yourself Isn’t Easy
By the way, don’t forget to come back Monday for #MomentsofHope! My heart skips a little beat each time I open that page and see the hope of Jesus splattered everywhere! ?
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To make changes in our life, we have to make intentional choices to move from where we are to where we want to be. Consistently filling our lives with positive life-giving content is one such step in the right direction. I’d like to help you with those steps and lead you toward the life you were designed to live! After subscribing, you’ll get access to my resource-filled Library of Hope, so watch for the password to unlock that private page!
Thank you for sharing your story, Laura. I’m sorry for all you have gone and are going through, but I rejoice that God is using your struggles to help others in the same situation. This line really comforted me today – “Regardless of how I feel about where I am, or how I came to be here—make no mistake: I am His, and He has led me here.” Thank you. Blessings and hugs to you and to Lori!
Thank you, Trudy! I love that line, too! Isn’t it comforting to know that He covers our every step, whether they are the perfect step or a stumble? Blessings and hugs back to you, my friend!
OH, Laura, your words are so true — all we have to offer Him is our mess, and He offers us Himself in return. So thankful for your words today — and Lori, thanks again for the steady stream of truth that flows through this space.
Blessings to both!
Hi Michele! Oh yes, they say “our mess into His message”, right? Beauty for ashes. He is so good at redemption! 😉 Thank you, friend, for your encouragement and company along the journey!
Hugs,
Lori
Thanks for a new way to think about unwanted changes in life. I’m not where I want or need to be with trust, but maybe I can gain some hope in a better llife some day.
Blessings and thanks for writing and sharing.
Lc, I am in prayer for you! I truly believe, my friend, that you CAN and WILL gain that hope. Not just some … but an abundance of it. Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Big hugs to you!
Laura, Thank you for encouraging us with your story. I’ve hated the pain, but I’m so thankful for the Lord’s something better. What a blessing that He loves and guides us through the mess. Lori – Thanks for sharing this series. I love it!
Thank you, Deb! I am so humbled by the stories of courageous women like you who follow Jesus!
Such courage you have Laura. You definitely offered hope here. No matter what our circumstances are, taking it to the Father is crucial even when our feelings are all over the place. We’ve all been in that place you’ve talked about, circumstances may be different, but the thoughts and feelings are the same. Thanks for sharing this Lori at Party at My Place this week and for this wonderful series.
Thank you, Michelle! Laura is such a courageous woman! I’m so honored to have her story here! I pray it gives hope and encouragement to others to step into their something better!
Lori, thank you for having Laura share on your blog today.
Laura, such a great post filled with vulnerability. Trust is such a powerful and important thing if we are to get to where God wants us to be. Trusting and obeying what God is asking us to do in the face of fear is exactly what He longs for us to do. Blessings and I am so glad you know you are not alone in the journey. May your words continue to be a healing and calming balm to those going through tough times and may they also be the same for you.
Thank you for your kind words, Debbie! I know Laura’s vulnerability is one of my favorite characteristics of her writing. Her story of following Jesus is powerful, but her courage and authenticity draws me in. I’m so thankful she is here this week!
What a wonderfully honest word of hope and encouragement, Laura and Lori.
I’m truly sorry for what you have gone through, Laura, but thank you for allowing God to use you and your story.
Your words are affirming and powerful!
I pray that God will bless you and will meet every need that you have~
Thank you, Melanie, for visiting and for your kind words. Laura is one of my real life heroes! She follows Jesus with a passion … even when the road blocks are huge! I pray her words encourage others to believe that they, too, can step into their something better!
You are His and He led you here. ~ Nothing takes God by surprise, a nice reminder. Thank you for sharing your story, Laura. Lori, thanks for linking up with Thankful Thursdays.
Thank you, Lori, for visiting and for hosting your link-up each week where hope is shared!
Laura, I love your vulnerable heart and message for all of us because you are not alone in this challenge. Accepting the path God needed you on to get to the place He needed you to be…that’s the message I have been working to embrace for the past few years, and when He sends confirmations along the way, it bosters our courage and conviction to stay the course! I’d rather have His something better than my own:) Crystal~
This is first visit through the link up on Holley Gerth ‘ s site. I appreciate your willingness to lay it all out there to help others. I am not single, but I have allowed God to use my struggles to help others and it is a very healing thing.
Father God, thank you for Laura’s willingness to be used by you here. Bless her and her children. Guide them through this season of life and bring peace and joy to them as they seek Your presence, provision, and purpose in their lives. Touch the heart of her ex-husband to turn from doing these things to cause her and the children pain. Draw him to Your throne that he would repent and give his life to You through Jesus our Lord. It’s in His name we pray. We thank You and praise You for the answers to our prayer. Amen and Hallelujah! ? ☝ ?
No, not many are willing to walk alongside the ‘messy one’…I know…I’ve been the messy one. But the very few who are willing get to see such amazing treasure within that mess! They get to see God transform and redeem – now THAT is AMAZING! Thanks for linking up with Grace and Truth!
Lori – how are you? I pray for you every day!!
Hi Aimee 🙂 It’s so good to “see” your smile! Yes and Amen! Being the messy one isn’t easy and finding those to walk alongside us is very difficult. I love how you phrased that, though. “They get to see God transform and redeem”! Thank you for your prayers, friend! We need to catch up!!!!
Laura, thank you for sharing your story. My Mom became a single mother when I was twelve years old, and I remember many of the struggles she went through as I was the oldest child. I think it is wonderful your faith is so strong and that you are helping to encourage others. It is not easy, but know that your children are seeing your faith and strength, and will admire you for years to come. My Mom is my hero for these very same reasons. Blessings to you and thanks for sharing with #SocialButterflySunday 🙂
Kelly, What a beautiful tribute to your mother! I am sure these words will touch Laura’s heart! Thank you so much for taking the time to share such kind and encouraging words.
Blessings and smiles,
Lori