17 Things Adoption Has Taught Me About Loving Well
The little black ringlets of hair curling round her rosy cheeks and dark brown eyes captured my heart at first sight. It’s a moment I’ll never forget. As the tears came out of nowhere and my heart exploded, it was instantaneous. Somewhere in that place a Mama feels the deepest of emotions, I knew she was ours. God had shown me the little girl He’d hand-picked for us halfway across the world.
It was love.
A love that seemed surreal — but one I knew was a gift. I just wouldn’t understand the magnitude of that gift for many years to come.
Adoption and Attachment
Our adoption story wasn’t one of the easy ones. I don’t know that anyone has an “easy” story, but ours was riddled with unheard of obstacles, detours, and heartache.
I went into it believing I knew love. After all, I was married and a mother to two biological boys. I’d loved big and grieved much over the course of my life then followed up with lots of research and education on the topic of adoption.
As an elementary teacher, maybe I went into it with too much logic. Study, learn, experience — then conquer. Even with all my unknowns in life and the great big way in which God had rescued me, somehow, I thought …
“I’ve got this.”
But the truth is, when it came to love, there was a lot (and still is, I’m sure) I didn’t get. There was much I’d never even imagined.
Like, how joy and pain exist simultaneously. Or, how grief and love weave together forming a beautiful, intricate, yet complicated tapestry.[bctt tweet=”When it came to loving well, there was a lot I didn’t get. Adoption opened my eyes … and my heart to more than I’d ever imagined #adoptionstories #adoptionandattachment @LetHerBeGreater ” username=”lori_schumaker”]
Through adoption, my eyes were opened as my heart broke into a million pieces. Then I was humbled and in awe of the God of the Universe as He put the pieces back together — forming a masterpiece I, in my simple-minded humanity, could never have even fathomed.
Through it, He taught me much about loving well. Follow me over to Michelle Madrid Branch’s website to read 17 of those beyond the surface things about loving well. They aren’t just things to help an adoptive parent, either. They have helped me love through a different lens in life.
… read more HERE about loving well, adoption and attachment.[bctt tweet=”Join me over at @LetHerBeGreater as I share 17 Things Adoption Taught Me About Loving Well #adoption #adoptionandattachment” username=”lori_schumaker”]
Is adoption and attachment something you want to know more about?[bctt tweet=”Is adoption and attachment something you want to know more about? Join me for the next two months and in the release of my new book on November 1st! #surrenderedhearts #adoption” username=”lori_schumaker”]
Or maybe, God’s put something on your heart, but as you feel the tug and pull of Him calling you in one direction, the fear of surrender holds you back?
That’s the stuff I write about in my new book coming out on November 1, 2018 – Surrendered Hearts: An Adoption Story of Love, Loss, and Learning to Trust. It is our true story of adoption, but it’s about so much more. Trust is tough. Even trusting God. When we think we we’ve laid all down and given ourselves fully to Him, we find there’s another sliver of fear lurking somewhere within us. But, friends, when He calls – we won’t find peace until we follow.
If you haven’t signed up yet to receive updates, you can do so right HERE (or fill out the form below). Over the next 2 months I will be sharing pieces of our family’s story – the before, during, and after of international adoption. I’ll also be sharing resources and guest posts. And of course on launch week, there will be a party with giveaways! Subscribing will get you my occasional updates (I’m just not one of those that can even find the time or desire to keep knocking at your proverbial email door! ♥). It also gets you full access to my resource-filled Library of Hope! It has a ton of stuff in it to help you meet life’s challenges head on with the best tool we have – the hope of Christ!
Speaking of giveaways, though … Did you see who won last week’s book bundle giveaway?
Thank you for the beautiful way you are allowing God to use the joys and the perils of your adoption experience to inform and to inspire!
Thank you, Michele! You are such an encouragement always ♥
How beautiful! We need more mommas like you encouraging others to love beyond measure even when our stories are difficult. Thank you for sharing your story, and congrats on your book coming out soon!
Thank you so much, Emily. The years have taught me well – although I know I still have so much more to learn! But I would say the greatest thing I’ve learned is that love doesn’t always look the same. God gives us unique children who need us in different ways. It’s up to us to lean into Him and learn there what our children most need. Blessings to you!
Hey Lori, I love your adoption story. It’s so inspiring. Thank you for sharing as candidly as possible so that others may be inspired to love bravely. Looking forward to your daughter’s book. Blessings!
Thank you, Tiffiney! I pray God uses our story to encourage many and draw them toward Him in surrender. Blessings to you, as well!
Loved your quote about joy and pain, grief and love all existing together. So very very true. Excited to be on your launch team, friend! Blessings!
It’s a bittersweet kind of realization, isn’t it though? We don’t truly have one without the other. God has wired our hearts and lives so intricately. And, I AM SO GLAD YOU are on my launch team! Love you bunches!
I can’t wait to read your book! Thank you for the feature. You are a blessing to me.
Thank you, Dawn! Oh, sweet friend, YOU are such a blessing to ME!! ♥
So excited about your new book, Lori!
It’s going to be amazing!
Thank you, Melanie ♥ I am praying God uses it to bring hearts closer to Him and encourage many!
I can’t wait to read your book. Heading over to where you are guest posting now.
Thanks so much, Maree! I love Michelle’s site. She is a powerhouse defender of the fatherless ♥
Thank you for sharing your heart with us Lori, congratulations on your coming book launch!
Thank you so much, Jennifer ♥
Thank you for sharing this beautiful piece of your testimony. laurensparks.net
Thank you, Lauren! You are appreciated ♥