Choosing Forgiveness Over Revenge: A Prayer for Forgiveness to Heal Your Soul
Choosing forgiveness or getting revenge? One heals your soul and helps you move forward in life. The other is the poison we drink that festers our emotional wounds and keeps us stuck in cycles of bitterness and regret. Here we will dig into why this is true and I’ll leave you with a prayer for forgiveness of self and others.
Why Unforgiveness and Revenge Is the Poison We Drink
The world and our very own flesh glamorize revenge. They tell us forgiveness isn’t really necessary and maybe not even possible.
They try convincing us to get revenge to feel better. That it will somehow heal our wounds and make the emotional hurt of betrayal and rejection disappear.
But usually, they fail to tell us that revenge has the power to dismantle our souls.
***Now is a great time to pull out your Journal & Growth Guide and reference page 11. If you are new here and haven’t gotten started with us, it’s never too late. It is a go-at-your-own-pace series that you can start or stop at any time. Get your free Journal & Growth Guide using the sign-up form at the end of this post! And keep reading to the end for a prayer for forgiveness.
When we are betrayed our flesh desires to remove the pain. It reacts by doing one of two things.
- Push it away, burying it deep inside with a hope to forget it ever happened.
- Or, fight back, lash out, and get revenge. It’s like that fight-or-flight response I wrote about in my last post. Both provide momentary distractions from the pain.
However, even though both of those reactions are natural and created for an important reason, neither of those responses will heal the pain of betrayal or rejection.
If we want to rise above the emotional pain of rejection and betrayal, our priority must be healing.
Without healing, we cannot move toward living out our purpose. We can’t experience a fullness of the fruit of our life efforts.
I once listened to an interview with Cynthia Ruchti, author of Tattered and Mended. In her book, she writes of how, as a society, we have found a level of comfort with the tattered edges of our brokenness. We are beginning to be transparent and loved despite them. However, we often find ourselves stuck in the brokenness instead of seeking the freedom offered through Christ.
In her interview, she discussed the need for an “atmosphere where healing can happen”. In medical scenarios, the proper atmosphere for healing must be present for healing to occur. The wound must be cleaned out leaving no room for infection to remain. Any hands touching the wound must remain clean and free from germs or the healing may be sabotaged.
But friends, isn’t that what we need when the wound is deep in our hearts?
An atmosphere that promotes healing?
One where the infection is kept out?
Not one of bitterness and revenge.
Healing simply cannot happen in an atmosphere of bitterness and revenge. It heals in the balm of forgiveness.
*(continue reading for A Prayer for Forgiveness!)
The Dreams of Revenge
Sweet friend, if you are holding onto dreams of revenge, I promise that bitterness is quietly but fiercely growing behind those dreams. Bitterness starts as a root and then grows throughout every portion of our being. It serves as a weed choking out all that is good.
Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears.-Hebrews 12:14-17 MSG
We cannot serve both love and bitterness. We cannot expect to live lives of joy, peace, and love while feelings of revenge, bitterness, and unforgiveness fill our thoughts. Without harmony, our emotions are torn and life becomes exhausting. We get stuck and unable to move forward and experience the fullness of the life God has for us.
And we ultimately hurt the innocent bystanders. The ones who deserve our best.
*(Keep reading for A prayer for Forgiveness)
We are incapable of serving both love and bitterness. #hope #risingabovepain #betrayal #rejection #revenge Share on XSo, may I ask for the privilege to speak into your life right now? May I ask you to release the bitterness and free yourself through forgiveness?
and let love in?
I know it’s difficult. Letting go and letting in takes a lot of vulnerability. But I believe in you. I believe in your courage. And I know that loving and being loved is at the foundation of our deepest need.
When we let love in, we win.
We win against every scheme and trick of the enemy. We win because we followed Jesus as He walked us through the depths of betrayal to the heights of victory.
Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back, “says the LORD. Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.” Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good. -Romans 12:14-21
A Prayer for Forgiveness of Self and Others
Finally, because healing is never complete without connecting to Jesus, let’s pray a prayer for forgiveness of self and others. Forgiveness of self for when we have fallen short and forgiveness of others for when they have hurt us.
Dear Heavenly Father,
You are my Healer. You made a way to not only recognize the torn and tattered parts of my soul, but a way to heal them so that I may walk in freedom.
Lord, I know the enemy wants me bound, stuck, and not living out my purpose. He doesn’t want to see me bearing the fruit of a victorious life. But You are my Redeemer and my Victor! Thank You!
I ask You to search my heart for any roots of bitterness or desires for revenge. I pray for the strength to forgive which I know will decimate the roots of bitterness and give me hope. Be my courage to walk in obedience to You as I let go of bitterness and replace it with forgiveness. Reveal any darkness residing in the crevices of my heart and corners of my soul. Then shine Your light on it so glamorized ideas of revenge no longer deceive me.
Unveil my hope. Reveal Your Truth. Fill me with Your love, mercy, and grace. Lord, I give You my heart. Please seal it as Yours and make it whole. In the Name above all names, the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen
Join Me for the Series!
When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal is a series that looks into the Word of God as a guide to not just surviving but rising victoriously over hurt. Each week I address a new aspect of rejection and betrayal that serves to keep us stuck in the pain rather than moving forward to where we want to be. (If you missed a post, then you can get caught up HERE or click on an image below!)
Also, I’ve created a Scripture Based Journal and Growth Guide that corresponds to each weekly devotional post giving you an opportunity to go deeper and make each lesson more meaningful.
This journal along with a set of printable Scripture Cards to give you hope is now in the Library of Hope! If you have already subscribed to our community, jump on over and grab your copy! If you haven’t subscribed, what are you waiting for? 🙂 Just use the form below for your access to the Library of Hope and this journal!
17 Great Bible Verses That Will Give You Hope and Help You When You Need to Extend Forgiveness
There is nowhere from which we gain more hope than directly from the Word of God. Therefore, I created a free printable set of Scripture Cards based on a survey I took on Facebook. They are verses you can use as you create your own prayer for forgiveness.
I asked my Facebook friends to share with me those verses they hold close to their hearts. I then took 17 of those and made them into printable scripture cards for you. Each is the size of a business card so you can place them in your wallet. They are the latest addition to the Library of Hope. If you are already signed up to receive my monthly newsletter, then you already have access. If not, get your access HERE or by clicking on the image!
May you be blessed and when life isn’t fair, may you overcome each obstacle with the hope of Christ.
Want to Read all the Posts In the “When People Hurt You” Series?
- 7 Powerful Truths You Need to Help You Overcome Betrayal and Rejection
- How Do You Get Over Betrayal, Rejection, and Toxic Guilt?
- Escaping the Victim Triangle: What to Choose When Someone Hurts You
- 5 Powerful Faith Quotes for When Life Is Not Fair
- Choosing Forgiveness Over Revenge: A Prayer for Forgiveness
- Finding Inner Strength from the Pain of Yesterday
- Getting Unstuck: Letting Go of the Past and Choosing to Live Again
- Finding Jesus in the Broken Church
Get the Journal and Growth Guide About Overcoming Betrayal and Rejection (no cost to subscribers!)
I’ve created a Scripture Based Journal and Growth Guide that corresponds to each weekly devotional post allowing you to go deeper and make each lesson more meaningful.
This journal along with a set of printable Scripture Cards to give you hope is now in the Library of Hope! If you have already subscribed to our community, jump on over and grab your copy! If you haven’t subscribed, what are you waiting for? 🙂 Just use the form below for your access to the Library of Hope and this journal!
This Week’s Featured #UnveilingHope Writers
This Public Prayer Stirs Up Grace
by Lisa of Lisa Notes
Who, Me? Truth for When You Feel Inadequate
by Leslie Newman of Journey to Imperfect
Before I go, please try to visit these sites and leave some #MomentsofHope comment and sharing love! Lisa, Debbie, and Leslie, please feel free to grab the Happily Featured Here button below!
Thanks, Lori, for shining the light of the Gospel into the darkest corners of our hearts. The truth is that none of us deserves forgiveness, and, having received the gift, we are empowered to go forward in forgiveness, but it’s a choice we have to make–sometimes minute by minute!
Amen, Michele! His power does give us the strength to forgive. And then, the gift of that obedience is freedom from the chains of bitterness. Thank you, friend, for joining me here ❤️
Forgiveness is absolutely the best way to have peace. I found not only asking for help from God over and over to help, but also praying for the person I need to forgive helped change my attitude as well.
I agree, Debbie. Praying for our offender is so important. We sometimes get forgetful and selfish in our prayers. Asking God to help us forgive is one part, but actually asking Him to help our offender with their brokenness changes our attitude almost immediately sometimes!!
I appreciate you, too!! ❤️
Thank you for featuring me today! I appreciate you!
Thanks for sharing my post, Lori! You’re such a gracious host; I appreciate you.
You share such important truths about forgiveness. Love this:
“If we want to rise above the emotional pain of rejection and betrayal, our priority must be healing.”
Healing is what we’re after. Thanks!
You are so welcome, Lisa! I am always so blessed by your words and inspired by your witness!!!
We want to heal – we ask God to heal us. But often our focus is on what was done to us and the bitterness we hold onto rather than healing. I pray these words connect with and encourage someone to step toward that healing ❤️
I remember how difficult it was to not spread around how a friend had hurt me. I was so tempted to because I wanted people to know who she really was, but I’m so thankful the Spirit convicted me to not do that! In the end, she spread around lies about me, but because people knew my character it didn’t make that much of an impact. I’m so thankful for how God helps us to forgive!
Oh, Emily, I feel your heart. We want to defend ourselves but often we need just be still and have faith in God as our defender. I have been there, too. It’s not easy!!!
I love the verse about not retaliating, it is the normal response and even to the devil but God takes vengeance on him for us. I don’t have to prove I am right just be still and let Him fight for me Exodus 14:14, thanks Lori.
Amen a million times over, Rebecca! It’s part of faith – trusting in God as our defender!
Lori, thank you so much for the feature! You know how much I love your words and the new look on your website is so nice! Thank you for being an encourager and for pointing us to the truth to help us through life’s difficulties! Blessings!
Thanks so much, Leslie!! It’s been a few years since a re-design so it’s exciting!!! I’m so glad you like it!! ❤️
This is one of the great post i have seen ever !! Really cool and satisfactory post 🙂 Thanks a lot Lori you thought about this type post.