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Life Really Isn’t Fair: Betrayal and Unconditional Acceptance {Series}

Thank you for joining me for the continuation of “7 Truths to Remember About Betrayal”! If you missed the first installments you can find them here:

Week 1 – An overview. What are the 7 truths?

Week 2 – Guilt

Week 3 – Identity

And if you are new here and haven’t gotten my companion journal to go hand-in-hand with this series, it is my gift when you subscribe to receive a weekly Searching for Moments post update.

Betrayal Companion Journal

For today, I’m diving into the fact that life really isn’t fair. Betrayal stinks, but betrayal happens.

{Series} Betrayal

I remember 4th grade well. Mrs. Johnson had been one of my favorite teachers. I adored her. But one day things went very wrong. In front of the whole class, she asked me to stay in from recess. It was obvious by the look on her face that it wasn’t for something fun.

I was terrified. “What could this be about? What had I done?”

After the other children filed out of the room, she looked in my eyes and asked me why I disliked her so much. I stared at her with big blank eyes because it didn’t make sense at all! I adored her!

She pulled out my latest math paper. At the bottom was written, “I hate you, Mrs. Johnson.”

I couldn’t spit out the words fast enough. “I didn’t write that! I would never!” The tears fell quickly. I was already an accomplished people pleaser and approval addict, so the idea of displeasing my teacher wreaked havoc on my heart.

Mrs. Johnson wasn’t sure what to believe. She saw the writing (whoever wrote it did a great job of mimicking my handwriting). She also thought she knew my heart. Because of this she held off on consequences, however my parents were called in.

Eventually we did find the culprit. It was one of my closest friends. There had been a brokenness in her young little heart that I was too young to understand, and it had led her to betray me.

Life felt unfair in those moments. I’d been reprimanded and gossiped about, ultimately losing a friendship I thought was good. And I was right. More right than I could fully grasp at the time.

Life is unjust.Betrayal happens not because of who we are or who we aren’t,but simply because it is a part of life. Click To Tweet

I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world. –John 16:33 (NLT)

Acts of betrayal come in all shapes and sizes. Each with their own unique daggers to our hearts. They come when we are children and they come when we are adults.

But what do we do with all the rejection, hurt, and disappointment that results from being betrayed?

Our bodies have a physiological response to perceived harm. It is referred to as an Acute Stress Response or the Fight or Flight Response. Of course, our natural instinct toward this response varies dependent on a multitude of factors, including the type, time, and duration of the trauma. But, essentially when we are caught off guard and betrayed, our physiologic response is to get as far away from the situation as we can, or fight the situation with all we’ve got.

Fight or Flight may be our natural response, but I don’t think it’s the response God desires for us. It places a wall between us and others making relationships unhealthy. It puts us in hyper-alert status and it lets fear take over.

Wherever you are afraid, Jesus is not King. – Jamie Winship

Fear tells us running away is good. Maybe if we are careful enough, we will be capable of avoiding betrayal ever again. It lies and tells us avoiding hurt is possible. Retreating from our dreams – from relationship – from love is really not all that bad.

Fear also tells us if we fight back or maybe even fight first, we can stop betrayal in its tracks. It tries to convince us we can live happily with our walls of steel firmly in place, ensuring we never fully feel the love of others or of Christ.

But, those are lies and lies come from the author of lies. The enemy who desires to steal our dreams and steal our joy. The enemy who desires to keep us from living out our purpose.

As followers of Christ, we have another option.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7

We can unconditionally accept the fact that life is not fair and injustice happens. We cannot avoid it nor is it in our power to stop betrayal.

When Adam sinned, sin entered the world. Adam’s sin brought death, so death spread to everyone, for everyone sinned. Romans 5:12

It is only in our power to trust that God will walk us through it.

When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. Isaiah 43:2

Oh, how my heart wants to shield you from the hurt of betrayal. I wish I could stop the unavoidable. Friends, I know that God’s promise is true. When He says He will walk with us, we can believe it!

But we have to hold onto Him. We have to do our part. It’s not ever easy, but God uses all things for good and I am living proof that He makes us better in ways we could never imagine. He showers blessings where we would never have looked. And He works through us to weave our story into the lives of others where we would never believe weaving could be a possibility.

I am living proof that He makes us better in ways we could never imagine #betrayal #series #holdontoGod Click To Tweet

What is our part, though? For me, my part looked like the intentional pursuit of these 5 strategies.

  1. Know who God says I am. I am a child of the King and not a product of betrayal. My identity is in Him.
  2. Unconditionally accept that betrayal is an inevitable part of life, but because I am a child of God, I will be okay no matter what.
  3. Abide in Him. The world may say they do or do not love me, but in the shadow of God’s wings I am always met by His unfailing love.The world may say they do or do not love me, but in the shadow of God’s wings I am always met by His unfailing love #truth #livefree Click To Tweet
  4. Live bravely. God designed me uniquely to live out a purpose. While pursuing that purpose, I must heed His warnings, drawing needed boundaries. But also, feel and obey His nudge to passionately invest in the lives of those He places before me.
  5. Pray for my betrayer.

I wanted to have something tangible for you to take away from this post. Although there is scripture here in this post, I didn’t want the verses to come from just me. I wanted them to come from real live people who have been and currently are in times of hurt and disappointment. So I asked my Facebook friends to share with me those verses they hold close to their hearts. I took 17 of those and made them into printable scripture cards. Each is the size of a business card so you can place them in your wallet. Click here and you will be able to print all 17 of them if you so choose. I’m not asking for you to subscribe or follow me (although that would be great, of course!). I just want you to have these close to you. There is power in speaking God’s Word out loud. The enemy runs when we do.

17 Free Printable Scriptures

I pray you are blessed and empowered to face betrayal with courage and confidence!

If you are new here, you may want to subscribe to receive my weekly updates! When you do you will receive 2 free gifts!

  1. My e-book “7 Truths to Remember about Betrayal Companion Journal
  2. 7 Originally Designed Printable Thank You Cards

You can find me regularly linking up with these encouraging sites.

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26 Comments

  1. Aw, I’m sorry your little self and that betrayal! But grateful the Lord has shaped you through such matters and that you are willing to share! This gives me much to think on : ) Blessings! #TellHisStory

    1. Thank you for stopping by! I think we all go through those situations as a young child. But God uses it for His good when we surrender it to Him 🙂
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  2. Ifeoma Samuel says:

    Hello, dear friend. Firstly I am so sorry you had a friend betray you this way! But as you rightly said, life is Unfair. I have had a fair share of these disappointments!
    Sad but it is always people we trust that slam our hearts.
    Thank you for the scriptures and encouragement.
    Blessings to you

    1. Hi Ifeoma! I’m so sorry you have had your fair share of those disappointments. I know and accept that it is a part of life, however it doesn’t make me okay with the hurt that happens in our world! (Especially to sweet souls like yourself!!) Thank you for being such a wonderful part of my little corner of the blog world!!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  3. Wow! What a traumatic exposure to betrayal and at such a young age. I’m glad to see you have bounced back and that God is using your story to help others. Thank you for this wonderful reminder of God’s love for us and that He will NEVER betray us! Blessings to you and yours. Have a wonderful weekend!

    1. Hi Horace,
      Thank you for visiting this week! I stopped by your blog as well and am so happy to connect! It is sad that we are exposed to those kinds of hurts when we are so little. That experience is minimal compared to what I know so many precious children experience. My heart aches for them and I pray that they can know Jesus and rest in His hope.
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  4. Beautiful truths to cling to during difficult times of betrayal. Thank you so much for sharing your story. God used even that experience for good… yours and your readers! It’s a joy to follow you at Suzie’s today. Blessings!

    1. Julie,
      Thank you so much for visiting and for your kind words. I’m so glad you enjoyed what you read! I look forward to connecting again!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  5. I’m so sorry you were betrayed by a friend, Lori. But I’m glad God has made beauty out of the ashes. Now your pain is being used for a purpose. I know by experience that betrayal is devastating and there are many of us who need to hear these words of encouragement. Thank you.

    1. Thank you, Trudy! My little story was only a small little example of betrayal in a world where children experience devastating events of betrayal. They do all shape us and I believe every single one of us have experienced some type of betrayal. I hope and pray for each person to know the love and healing power of Jesus. I’m so thankful you were encouraged!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  6. Lori, How sad! Life is not fair,but how me make of the situation is what is important. That is something my parents taught me and I’m trying to teach my son. Thank you for sharing with Thankful Thursdays.

    1. Hi Lori,
      It’s a tough one to teach. I often feel our only way to teach it is to walk through it with them. We all seem to have a beautiful innocent view of the world and refuse to believe in darkness until we experience it. However, if we are with them as they walk through it, and can give them glimpses of God’s love and grace through it all, I think they will come out pretty strong!
      🙂 Lori

  7. “The world may say they do or do not love me, but in the shadow of God’s wings I am always met by His unfailing love.” So thankful for this truth. He is always with us and always will be! Blessings to you! I’m your neighbor at Weekend Whispers!

  8. Lori, this has truly been an awesome series; one of the best that I’ve had the pleasure of reading. I see this as a part of your crown of beauty for your ashes. You’ve used your ashes as a way to encourage others in THE LORD and in that you are radiantly and beautifully shining for HIS glory. Thanks so much for sharing, Love! GOD bless you, beautiful friend! 🙂

    1. Tai,
      I cannot even begin to tell you what a timely word you gave me! God used you to quell my ever circling thoughts and doubts! Thank you so much, friend! I am so thankful for not only sisters in Christ like you, but for the fact that God is blessing you through this series!
      Much love,
      Lori

      1. You are most welcome, Love! It’s been a great blessing to me to visit with you during this series. I am truly grateful to have you share your heart with us. May you continue to use your gift to honor GOD and to bless our hearts with encouragement. GOD bless you, Beautiful! *HUGS* 🙂

  9. I learned early on in my Christian life that we are all broken people. Hurting people hurt others so much more easily. I am grateful for the lessons learned through the years, and encouraged to know my Father in Heaven will never betray me. Thank you for sharing at Weekend Whispers.

    1. Barbie, such truth. Hurting people hurt others so much more easily. I am thankful for you and your weekly words of encouragement!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  10. OH gosh I would have been horrified if my teacher thought I wrote something like that I loved my 4th grade teacher too. She was awesome. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithme

    1. Hi Jenny,
      I remember being so upset as a little girl! In the scope of life, it was a small incident, but an introduction to what it means to betray. Thank you so much for visiting! You know how much I love your visits each week!

  11. That is so sad!
    Great post though. Hard lesson, but good that you knew early on such things could happen.
    Thanks for linking up with Grace & Truth this week! 🙂
    God bless,
    Jenn

    1. Hi Jenn, It was such a sad little situation! Not just for me, but as I look back, I see the other little girl as one with a deep ache. Thank you so much for stopping by!

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