It was the in the quiet of the night. Everyone was asleep…at last. It was the time I had always used to refuel and recharge.
These days, however, I barely made it through the day and found myself collapsing into bed in the evening. I craved the “mindless” types of activities which, for me, was a game on my Kindle called “Bubbles”. Not reading and researching more strategies for adoption transitions or medical options to help our daughter. Not even reading reflective and interesting literature. Not writing. Not anything that I once loved to do. Only the mindless. Exhaustion had seeped into every last crevice of my brain.
Under the exhaustion, though, hope continued to move. It was there. I could feel the stirring placed inside me by a God Who wasn’t going to let go. He kept the whisper constant. “You know where your hope is. Push through.”
I knew that as much as God understood my exhaustion and frustration, He was calling me to more.
I tiptoed quietly into each of their rooms. I started in the boys’ rooms where the prayers were less complicated…and so much easier to sense the leading of the Spirit. And then on to our daughter’s room. Looking at her lay there finally at peace for a moment, the tears just poured out. What do I pray? Where do I start? My exhaustion is so big. My spirit so crushed. My emotions so tumultuous. I knew that I could have just sat there and cried because God is big enough to know the desires of my heart even when I am not quite sure what they are myself.
But I wanted words. Real words to lay before Him.
I wanted to put words to my emotions as much for Him as therapy for my aching soul. The right words with the details. The specifics. Not just strength, comfort, peace, and wisdom. But finding them seemed an impossible feat.
As I sat on the floor at the edge of the bed, the glow of her nightlight caught a little stack of books on the floor. I picked them up and in the stack was one I had purchased long before our Selah had come home to us. I had forgotten about it. It was titled Prayers and Promises for My Little Girl and was written by one of my favorite authors, Stormie Omartian.
As I skimmed through the book I found nougats of treasured prayers and scripture that gave me the words I couldn’t come up with for myself. Much of the book is geared toward raising daughters in general, but tucked within those pages were prayers that fit our situation. It gave me a start. I began whispering those prayers as I sat in the glow of that nightlight and I could feel the presence of God in those moments.
I have loved that book and have read and reread the prayers within, but I have also struggled because the unique needs of my daughter are not fully represented there. The prayers from the hearts of parents who care for and are raising children who have been hurt or children with special needs are uniquely their own.
I made it through those beginning days…weeks…months…years. I have witnessed and felt the answering of many of those nightlight prayers. Our struggles are not over and many more mountains will need to be moved, but I can face them with an ever-burning flame of hope and conviction in the power of a praying mama!
So, I contemplated making my quiet-of-the-night-between-God-and-I prayers public. I most definitely am not a Stormie Omartian, and it is kind of scary making public that which has been so private, but I decided to render my most valiant attempt at giving other hurting mamas the words to lay before the Lord in prayer. Words that, Lord willing, may just match your situation and open the gateway for your own words to come pouring out.
Each week I will present a new prayer and scripture to pray over your child. I pray that God will use these to ease the heart, give the words, and bring healing to even just one mama and her hurting child.
Lord, As I rest my eyes upon this child you have allowed me to mama, I am overwhelmed with the responsibility of it all. In this moment, I give all my human efforts over to You so that they can be replaced with Your power.
Tonight, Lord, I pray specifically for the fear that has enveloped ____________ (name of child here). I see the fear in acts of aggression toward others and himself/herself. I hear the fear in the screeches and cries. I feel the fear by _________’s (child’s name) inability to wrap into my arms to find relief. Your Word says in 2 Timothy 1:7 that You “gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.” I pray, Lord, that ______________ (child’s name) is filled with a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. I pray for You to defeat fear by binding the enemy and canceling all his power of fear in my child’s soul.
I pray for You to nestle deep within his/her heart. That his/her knowledge and relationship with You will grow deeper each day, paving a path to a life filled with peace and freedom from fear. I pray for You to be the stronghold in ____________’s life leaving him/her not with fear, but with courage. For Lord, we know that You are “my light and my salvation – whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life- of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1).
I receive and claim every promise of peace for my child. I thank You and praise You in advance for the freedom my child will someday have by the power of Your Name. I also thank You for the path You will set before me as my child’s mother. I know that You will open doors that need to be opened, close doors that need to be shut, and fill my mind and actions with the wisdom needed for each step of the way.
In the Name above all Names, I pray. Amen
In addition to the scripture in the prayer, here are a few more of my favorites I use in the fight to defeat fear!!
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can Man do to me?”
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
A couple more of my posts talk about how to defeat fear…you can check them out here:
Blessings and smiles,