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63 Years of Loving Well – The Ingredients to a Lasting Marriage

Building a lasting marriage is possible but not easy. Here are 27 ingredients to making it happen after 63 years of experience! Join the series! #marriage #relationships #lovingwell

“We are heading to the hotel tomorrow for one night and we will be back home Thursday. Going to celebrate our anniversary with my BEAUTIFUL wife!!!!!”

Building a lasting marriage is possible but not easy. Here are 27 ingredients to making it happen after 63 years of experience! Join the series! #marriage #relationships #lovingwell

As I was driving and my son read the text out loud, how could I not smile BIG? It was a text from my 86-year-old dad. He and my mom were about to celebrate their 63rd Wedding Anniversary!

Truly a lasting love story… a lasting marriage.

One that I am honored to share as the sixth and final post in the Building a Lasting Love Story #MarriageSeries! (Need to catch up? Just click on the images below!)

Building a Lasting Love Story - A 6-week series with the secrets to loving your spouse well in each season of marriage. Join guest writers as they share their secrets and truths from each stage of marriage. -Lori Schumaker - Searching for Moments  As a new wife, you have entered a season of brand new. Of transition and learning. Loving well isn't all about the romance and steamy sex! It's about something much much more. -The One Way to Love Well as a New Wife - Building a Lasting Love Story Marriage Series - Alison Tiemeyer for Lori Schumaker Loving your spouse well during those busy parenting years is not easy work. Your time is minimal and your exhaustion real. So how do you do it? How do you love your spouse well during the busy parenting years? Valerie Murray for Lori Schumaker's Building a Lasting Love Story #MarriageSeries Parenting during the teen years has a unique set of challenges for marriage. What was important during the busy years with young children or during the newlywed years, looks a little different. Here are 5 ways to love your spouse well while parenting teens. Shannon Geurin for Lori Schumaker - Building a Lasting Love Story #MarriageSeries  You made it through the busy young children years, weathered the teen years, and now you are half in and half out of the empty nest years. So close, but not quite. The kids are busy and don't need you in the same ways. But they are in and out of the house like a revolving door. Now what? How do you refocus yourself and figure out what loving your spouse well looks like in this season? Loving Your Spouse Well When Your Nest is Almost Empty by Melanie Redd for Lori Schumaker's "Building a Lasting Love Story #Marriage Series"

A Lasting Marriage

I am so blessed to have witnessed my parent’s love story. To have been taught what it means to love well. To fight fiercely for your marriage. And to hold on tightly every time life hits hard.

Fight fiercely for your marriage and hold on tightly every time life hits hard #marriageseries #hope #lastingmarriage Click To Tweet

Make no mistake. Their road has not been easy.

Quite the contrary. They have faced multiple hardships. Ones that many marriages never survive.

They hurt, grieved, fought, held on, and loved through every mountaintop and every valley.

As I’ve watched them in these Golden Years and a fully empty nest, I’ve seen their love flourish. As the busyness of the day to day slowed, they leaned into one another and found the joy in what they had spent half a lifetime building. All the work of staying connected the years before was now evident as they fell more in love and celebrated every moment together.

And today? It’s not surprising to see my dad reach out to hold mom’s hand. Nor to see Mom tear up as she talks about how much she loves Dad.

They still enjoy “happy hour” each day. If the weather agrees, they sit on the back porch. If not, the kitchen table is just fine. With Dad’s diet coke and Mom’s glass of red wine and a bowl of popcorn, they sit and talk about all that fills their lives.

 And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. -Hosea 2:19

It Looks Different

The Golden Years definitely look different than the years before.

Loving well means learning to flourish while in each other’s space full time. It means accepting the transition from a busyness driven by your children’s needs to the busyness of your own design.

Loving well means enjoying new hobbies together. But it also means learning to encourage and support one another as your bodies slow and health concerns arise.

When I call Mom and Dad, they put me on speaker phone so they can both hear all I have to say. I love it because I only have to tell my stories once! It always makes me smile as I hear their interactions in our 3-way conversations. The other day, I asked them what they thought it takes to build a lasting love story. They had lots to say. 63-years worth to be exact!

27 Ingredients to a Lasting Marriage

  1. As individuals, do what it takes to be a stable and mentally healthy person. We all have shortcomings and levels of healing that needs to occur, but you cannot remain stuck in your pain.
  2. Be strong. Believe you can accomplish whatever is needed and you can face whatever comes your way.
  3. Remain loyal. Don’t ever give that loyalty to someone else. It belongs to your spouse.
  4. Always defend one another. Even when one parent is smoothing over the not-so-great parenting moment of the other, it should be done in a way that honors the other parent. Remind your children that parent loves them even though they sometimes make mistakes. Point out the good qualities of the other parent.
  5. Staying together and keeping your family together should be your main goal and your priority.
  6. Don’t let outside expectations draw you away from the focus of your marriage.
  7. Pay attention to each other. Life is busy and demands pull you every which way. If your spouse ends up on the backburner, do everything you can to bring them back to the front. Take the time to look them in the eyes and let them know they matter. Let them know you care.
  8. Keep up your buy Nolvadex xt appearance. Love isn’t about appearances but shows your spouse you want to give the best of yourself to them.
  9. Really Listen. Don’t nod your head and continue watching the television. Listen in a way that your spouse feels heard. In a manner that shows they matter.
  10. Make sure you have moments only with each other. Enjoying time with your family or other couples is good, but you need to have time for just the two of you.
  11. Find something you enjoy doing together and do it. Whether it’s dancing, having coffee together, or fishing makes compromises to learn to enjoy it together.
  12. Live within your means. Decide to unite yourselves in the common objective of not living on borrowed money.
  13. Keep expectations for your children realistic. Expect them to be good people who love each other and love others. Expect them to work hard and give their best effort at whatever they do. As a couple, agree on those expectations and together follow through on holding your children accountable.
  14. Hold dear all that you create together, cherishing the blessings.
  15. Encourage each other in achieving and doing that which matters to them.
  16. Discuss your problems together. Be careful with your words. Use them well. Neither holding back nor over-speaking. Respectfully discus each trial and complication.
  17. Lean on each other in times of need.
  18. Be willing to sacrifice for the other.
  19. If you can’t at the moment, work toward rebuilding that trust.
  20. Put the greater good ahead of yourselves.
  21. Don’t give up.
  22. If you loved each other once, you can always love each other again.
  23. Be willing to forgive, cleaning the slate and starting fresh.
  24. Discover not just what you love in the other, but what you like about them.
  25. Don’t need a rescuer. Be independent in the sense that you aren’t putting unrealistic expectations on your spouse. Lean on them. Sacrifice for them. But know that they are not your Savior.
  26. Believe in God, being thankful for all He has and will do.
  27. Pray every day for each other and for your children.
Celebrating their 63rd anniversary, this couple shares 27 ingredients to a lasting marriage! #marriageseries #hope #lastingmarriage Click To Tweet

Friends, marriage is not easy. Love is a choice. Building a lasting marriage takes intentional effort. In the world we live in, we have been conditioned to see outcomes almost immediately. Waiting with patience is not something we learn anymore as we grow up. But technology and the speed of our world will never change the covenant of marriage.

It won’t make marriage easier. Or make results come any faster.

Building a lasting marriage is possible. We’ve heard testimony from 6 marriages. 6 thriving marriages! Marriages that have faced conflict. Not marriages that have come easy. But 6 sets of people along the seasons of life who are doing this marriage thing and in it finding irreplaceable beauty. Finding the glory of God.

Building a lasting marriage is possible but not easy. Here are 27 ingredients to making it happen after 63 years of experience! Join the series! #marriage #relationships #lovingwell

I pray these insights have encouraged you and given you hope.

I pray that you could see yourself in one if not many of the stories within this series. And maybe it gave you the nudge to make a difference in the direction your marriage was heading. Or maybe, it was simply a reinforcement reminding you that your marriage matters and what you have built is something beautiful! And finally, I pray that you, too, will have the opportunity to experience a lasting love story. Maybe even a story that someday celebrates 63 years!

Note: Friends, I know some of you are in situations that simply will not make it. I’ve been there. I get it. There are extenuating circumstances and I want you to know that this is not a place of judgment. This is only a place of love and hope.

If you think your marriage could benefit from a little extra hope and encouragement, consider joining the Searching for Moments Community with access to the Library of Hope. It is filled with resources to encourage your walk with Christ and keep your hope alive!


I regularly link up with these encouraging sites.


Our Story

Surrendered Hearts: An Adoption Story of Love, Loss, and Learning to Trust is a story for anyone needing hope. It's for the one who needs to let go of something so that God will move them forward.Surrendered Hearts is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, ChristianBook.com, and Redemption Press.

Building a lasting marriage is possible but not easy. Here are 27 ingredients to making it happen after 63 years of experience! Join the series! #marriage #relationships @lovingwell

Building a lasting marriage is possible but not easy. Here are 27 ingredients to making it happen after 63 years of experience! Join the series! #marriage #relationships #lovingwell

Building a lasting marriage is possible but not easy. Here are 27 ingredients to making it happen after 63 years of experience! Join the series! #marriage #relationships #lovingwell

Building a lasting marriage is possible but not easy. Here are 27 ingredients to making it happen after 63 years of experience! Join the series! #marriage #relationships #lovingwell

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21 Comments

  1. So much goodness here, Lori, I can’t pick what I love most. What a joy to witness that sweet and continuous love between your parents. More than anything, I want our son to witness that kind of love from his dad and me. While marriage isn’t easy – staying together, leaping the hurdles, and fighting for each other is what matters. Thanks for sharing your list of 27 too – I need it on a bookmark! 😉

    I’m relaunching my blog this week, and I’d love to invite you to join in the celebration. So glad I popped over from Facebook today!

  2. Love this post! And love the picture of your parents!!! =)

  3. These are wonderful tips your parents shared about having a lasting marriage. Their legacy has equipped you to help others. What a blessing! My husband and I are going on 7 years strong this upcoming Monday and I pray that our children have this legacy of lasting marriage too.

    I liked #21 ” Don’t give up”, those three words are needed when marriage seems so not easy.

    1. Thanks for joining me here, Ana! I will join you in that prayer♥

  4. What an absolutely beautiful story!! And these ingredients…it’s no wonder they are sharing 63 years. Lori, I have so enjoyed this series and your heart for honoring marriage:)

    1. Thank you, Crystal! It is quite a beautiful love story and I am so blessed to have had it as my example! I’m so glad you have enjoyed this series!!

  5. “Pay attention to each other.” “Live within your means.” … So beautiful, Lori. 63 years. Blessed as their daughter too. My husband and I are together 23+ years now and we are in those “Golden Years.” Marriage is a choice and not easy, yet Ken and I have been blessed and feel so from day 1.
    We have had several rules: 1) never spend over $100 without talking to the other. (Now with our income on a fixed level since retirement, that $100 is lowered to $25)
    2) Never go to bed angry. Talk it out now.
    and there is a third, but both of us manage to forget it most of the time, so it must not be much!! : )
    The photo drew me in as the era looks slightly familiar since I am 68. I was born just a few years before your parents got married so the photo time period fits into my life!! Thanks for such lovely insights, Lori.

    1. Those are great additions to the list, Linda! Congratulations on 23 years! We have been extremely blessed to have my parent’s example of what it means to love well. I am so thankful for that gift!!! Thanks so much, friend!!

  6. Thank you for this post, there are so many tips in here that I take to heart. I always think of how the future will be with my husband, God willing we are both around for a long while. My husbands dad died suddenly few years ago, and his mom was not privledged to have more happy years to spend with with her husband. So I take every present moment to love my husband and enjoy each moment with him, since we never know if we have Tommorow.

    1. Soaking in every moment is definitely a good strategy! I think that is how my parents view life, too. They lost a son (my brother) when he was only 4 years old. They never took a moment for granted after that. Blessings and smiles, Lori

  7. This post warms my heart. I SO enjoyed reading all your parents wise advice, thanks for sharing this Lori. What a beautiful legacy of love

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed this, Megan! They are pretty amazing ♥ so it was such an easy post to share!!!! Thanks so much for joining me here, friend!

  8. There is so much wisdom in these ingredients, Lori. Thank you for sharing them with Thankful Thursdays.

    1. Hi Lori,
      I might be just a little biased 😉 but I do think these two are amazingly wise!!!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  9. Here from Jamie Wiebel’s linkup –
    This was such a sweet, inspiring post. I have been married 23 years, and I intend for my marriage to continue to be as strong and loving at 63 years in..Great list. I wish there were more success stories like this these days.

    1. Hi Elizabeth,
      Thanks for visiting from Jaime’s! She is a doll! I am praying right now for your marriage to be wonderfully blessed for many many more years!!

      1. Thank you sweet, friend. Just reading this post and taking in all the goodies that come with wisdom and a life well-lived. Such sweet words of inspiration and I love the pictures. Blessings ❤️

  10. What a beautiful story of love and hope for all of us. Marriage is hard and so very worth it. Your parents will be leaving behind a legacy that will affect many generations, what a blessing.

    1. Thank you, Alecia! They are pretty special! Thank you for visiting today!

  11. J. Tuason says:

    Greetings Lori,
    What a heartfelt story. It truly touch the core of my heart. I read it with my husband ( I wish a lot of couples should do the same) and was quite speechless. Every single word he absorbed it.
    Thank you for sharing and more blessings to you
    J. Tuason

    1. My parents have quite a beautiful love story. Their commitment and faith has equipped them to weather all the storms and become stronger for them! Bless you!

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