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Why Are You Wrestling with Not Good Enough?

Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.

Ephesians 1:4-5

Why Are You Wrestling With Not Good Enough 


The memories seem to stay with me. The words penetrating my heart, eating at my soul. Sometimes they were just more than I could bear and I needed an escape. Just outside our door was a red picnic table and, in the summer months, that picnic table became that place of solace.

stockfresh_5657107_place-for-a-picnic_sizeXS (2)

It was there I would wrestle with the feeling of not good enough.

Not worthy.

I desperately attempted to fix things … to make them happy. Maybe if I could just say or do the right thing, they wouldn’t be angry anymore. They would be happy with each other -With me. If only the words didn’t hurt so badly and if only I could be good enough to make them really love me.

Are you like me? Do you wrestle with ‘not good enough’?

Each of our stories may look a little different, but the outcome of family dysfunction often leaves us in a common place. A place that says, in no uncertain terms, “I’ll never be good enough.”

We allow the label placed upon us by the brokenness of others to have more weight than the identity given to us by our Heavenly Father.

We allow the enemy to use the brokenness of people in our lives to aid him in what he is so profoundly adept.

The telling of lies.

The truth is, ‘good enough’ will never fix those around us, nor will it bring them to love us the way we desire. And it doesn’t define us.

The ugly words are NOT our labels.

Not Good Enough

They will NEVER be our labels and that is a truth Satan wants to remain secret.

So, he works diligently to keep us believing the lies.

He pressed in on me as a little girl sitting at the red picnic table so long ago and, in complete honesty, I can tell you he continues to press in even today.

But today I recognize truth and I have a deep relationship with the Author of Truth. You see, God’s truth dispels the lies of the enemy every single time.

[bctt tweet=”Today I recognize truth.God’s truth dispels the lies of the enemy every single time.”]

That, my friends, is good news!

Our Creator, the God of the Universe, has given us a different label.  A label of love and beauty.

In His Word, He says…

Scriptures to remind you who you are in Christ! He specifically designed you with purpose and nothing in this world can cancel out that Truth! Encouragement to embrace your worth and let go of the dysfunction of your past

What His Word does not say is that we are defined by the unhealthy actions and lifestyles of those around us.

Remember? Their words do not label us. We are only labeled by the words of the One who created us.

The One Who lovingly reached out for us each time our hearts were broken. He was there holding us up.

He was there saying, “Come to Me…believe ME. I AM and they are not.”

God longs to see us step out from the shadows of an identity derived from dysfunction. He wants us to step away from the brokenness of others. He wants us to receive His love and recognize who we are in Him. I know firsthand, though, it is not easy. It takes conscious actions and thoughts. It takes determination.

Here are steps I have learned along the way.

  1. Feel the emotions. Grieve. Burying emotions only cause them to grow. Don’t get stuck in them.

  2. Repent of believing the lies of the enemy instead of the truth of God. We may not think it is a sin to believe these lies, but God’s Word clearly tells us to walk in Truth. Believing lies is literally acting in direct disobedience to God.

  3. Confess the sin of unrealistic expectations. Release the feeling of having the “right” to perfect endings.

  4. Pray in the powerful name of Jesus to be freed from these restraining chains of brokenness.

  5. Read scripture that reminds us how wonderfully made we are and stay in the Word. Pour His truth into the wounds.

  6. Establish and maintain boundaries. Relentlessly!

  7. Pray for and forgive those who have brought pain.

  8. Live each day consciously remembering and committing to believe what God’s Word does

Sweet friends, our past is our past.  A terrible memory is simply that…a memory.

Not a self-definition.

Not a future.

We have been masterfully crafted by a God of wonders to do unique things. Those things will never be accomplished living under the label of the past.

[bctt tweet=”We’ve been masterfully crafted by a God of wonders to do unique things.”]

Now, would you join me in stepping away from that picnic table where an unsure little girl sat wrestling with a label of lies?

Step away and embrace an adventurous journey rooted in the forever truth of Christ.

A journey designed by our Heavenly Father and filled with love, peace, freedom, and unspeakable joy!

I would love it if you would head over to my friend and best-selling author, Susan B. Mead’s website.  My post today is being featured on her blog in honor of her son, Kyle, and the release of her book, Dance with Jesus from Grief to Grace. Kyle would have been 28 years old this month and to celebrate him, she is hosting the Dance with Jesus Birthday Beach Bash and Blog Tour. Her encouragement, testimony, and love has tremendously blessed me.  I truly recommend her book for anyone struggling with grief. Here’s a link to purchase it!

Looking for more encouragement? I regularly link up with these fabulous bloggers!

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  1. Hi Lori, I really enjoyed the devotion, I love the scriptures you shared too.
    We are free from the bondage of sin and fear.
    Thanks for sharing your heart.
    God Bless

  2. Delores McPherson says:

    Thank you for the reminder of how precious we are in God’s site

    1. Hi Delores, Thank you so much for stopping by! I am thankful you were reminded of how very precious you are!!!
      Blessings and smiles,

  3. Thank you, dear friend, for the beautiful truth that we are “masterfully crafted by a God of wonders to do unique things.” What a precious thought to hang on to for life! Wow—that sure makes a person feel SPECIAL!

    1. Hi Leanne,
      Oh my treasured friend! You better be feeling pretty special cuz you most definitely are!! (Yup, the Big Guy and I are in agreement :-)) Thank you for being such an encourager in my life! Love you!!!

  4. Beautiful words of truth. I love the concrete steps to freedom that you shared, so helpful. I rejoice that you have found the way that leads to the abundant and joy-filled life, and are walking in it. Praise His glorious name!
    Blessings and hugs,

    1. Hi Kamea,
      Sweet friend, I so treasure your comments! God is so good and calls us so very worthy. I still struggle, but I can pick up my armour each time and turn the enemy’s lies away! I’ll be praying alongside you as we fight these battles together!!
      Much love,

  5. Hi Lori,
    This is a nice post. Many people struggle with self-esteem issues.
    Thank you again for visiting my site on Tuesday. (Still Tuesday here in California).

    1. Hi Janice,
      I really enjoyed your site! Thank you for stopping back by to visit me and for your kind words!
      Blessings and smiles,

  6. Gorgeous truth from God’s Word to cancel out the lies we tell to ourselves! Thank you!

    1. Hi Michelle,
      I am so thankful God used my words to convey His truth! Thank you for visiting and for your kind encouragement!
      Blessings and smiles,

  7. That did my heart such good today. So choc full of truth and grace and honesty. Going back to read it again. Your neighbour at Coffee for Your Heart this week. God Bless

    1. Hi Tracey,
      I am so very thankful you were encouraged today as you read this. It is the prayer of my heart that God so choose to fill those who visit here with encouragement and the knowledge that they are loved! Thank you so much for visiting! I’m glad you were my neighbor, too!!!
      Blessings and smiles,

  8. I really enjoyed this post, thank you for sharing with OMHG Wordless Wednesday Link Party.. Have a great day, co-host Evija @Fromevijawithlove x

    1. Evija,
      Thank you so much for stopping by! I am so glad you enjoyed it!
      Blessings and smiles,

  9. I have found myself some many times wrestling with “Not good enough”. How important it is to believe, understand and know the truth that God loves us. Loved your post, there is a lot of truth here. Thanks for sharing with us at Words Of Comfort Link Up.

    Tayrina from http://www.atinymixof.com

    1. Hi Tayrina,
      Thank you for stopping by! I’m so glad you heart truth! 🙂 And you, for sure, are more than good enough! 🙂
      Blessings and smiles,

  10. Truly inspiring & as is His Way, perfectly timed . Thank you, Lori . (Ps Love the shark swim on Instagram #doitafraid double thumbs up! Shandra

    1. Hi Shandra,
      Can you even believe that shark swim?! Goodness! My heart was racing!!!
      I am so thankful that these words touched your heart and God used them for His good! He calls us His and made us worth even far more than good enough! 🙂
      Blessings and smiles,

  11. I am God’s workmanship, I AM good enough, Thank you! Thank you for linking up with Thankful Thursdays.

    1. Hi Lori,
      Yes!! You most definitely, without a doubt, a even more than good enough! And thank you for hosting Thankful Thursdays each week!

  12. Hi Lori – Thank you first of all for the sweet words you left for me. I appreciate it and too am happy to have found you in this big’ ole’ internet! I really liked this post. I am stubborn and any time my dad or mom called me a name or tried to make me feel ‘less than’ I told them they were not being nice and forgot whatever silly thing they said. My husband however is a completely different story. His dad left them when Bill was 12. On the way out the door hIs dad told him he would never be more than ‘a loser’, I struggle to understand when I see Bill living down to his dad’s prophecy instead of UP to the Lord’s, so much so it makes me mad at times! Your post helped me to see it differently, I think I understand a little more about how hard that was on Bill and will use this scripture and post. Thanks so much.

    With a smile from OffTheSidewalk – Carlyn 🙂

    1. Hi Carlyn,
      Thank you so much for stopping by! And how could I not leave sweet words? My heart was touched!! I am so thankful God used my words as His conduit of love to give you insight into your husband. I will be praying for him! That he sees his worth and, as you said, lives UP to the Lord’s prophecy!
      Blessings and smiles,

    1. Thank you so much, Jenny! I always love to see your smile here in my feed!! 🙂