How Do You Get Over Betrayal, Rejection, and Toxic Guilt
Has a betrayal in your life wreaked havoc on your peace? Are you exhausted from the emotional toll it has taken? How do you get over betrayal, rejection, and toxic guilt? There are six truths I want you to own when it comes to healing and freeing ourselves from the toxic guilt that somehow seems to arise during the healing process.
Join us for the entire Rising Above Betrayal and Rejection Series!
Dealing With Betrayal and Rejection
โฆ He was a murderer from the beginning. He has always hated the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, it is consistent with his character; for he is a liar and the father of lies. -John 8:44 (NLT)
Years and years ago, toxic guilt slithered itself deep into my heart somehow convincing me I deserved to be rejected, betrayed, or treated without respect. As I write these words here today, I still grieve for that young woman who didn’t know any better.
A young woman confused and wondering how to be better – smarter – prettier. Anything to make the anger directed at me stop. The narrative in my mind replicated the narrative I’d heard. It was all my fault โ all my inadequacy.
If only I could be better, then he/she/they would love me more.
But it was a lie. The perpetrator had issues that weren’t mine to own. Those individuals were broken and not only betraying my trust and rejecting my kindness, but directing toxic false guilt at me.
It hurt deeply and began to shred my self-worth and leave me without hope. I had to find a way to get over this betrayal and break the cycle of toxic guilt.
Toxic, or false, guilt is a lie from the enemy! One he uses as a tool to shred our worth and leave us without hope. #betrayal #dealingwithrejection Share on XBreaking the Cycle of Toxic Guilt So That You Can Heal from Betrayal and Rejection
For many years my life story was one of shame. But God and His great big redeeming love saved me so that today I can point to Him and pass His hope to another.
I remember the day God reached in and pulled me out of that pit of ugly toxic guilt and shame. A day a strength I was unaware I possessed, arose within me.
The remainder of the steps took years. The enemy continued to manipulate and lie using even those closest to me to judge what they didn’t know and speak words of blame that only deepened my pain. You see, the majority of the world saw only the friendly handsome man who smiled at most gatherings, so it was easy for them to whisper behind my back. How could they understand what I had so worked hard to cover up?
With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christโs being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death. -Romans 8:1-2 (MSG)
Eventually, healing happened. It happened when I came to fully grasp the deep unfailing and redeeming love of Christ. It was when I truly understood who I was to Him and therefore my worth as His child. And it was then I recognized the difference between toxic guilt and conviction.
But Knowing the Difference Between Toxic Guilt and Conviction Isn’t enough.
We have to own it. Remember it. Call it out when it appears in our thought life. And live in it!
Friend, when you are dealing with rejection and betrayal, I want you to recognize the enemy’s lies and refuse to live in the condemnation of toxic guilt.
Let’s Look at These 2 Well-Known Biblical Accounts of Betrayal.
First, let’s examine Joseph. His brothers threw him into a pit and left him for dead because they couldnโt take the fact that he was their fatherโs favorite. One brother suggested they sell him into slavery. Was the jealousy that grew in their hearts dependent upon Josephโs actions? Did Joseph wonder if he had been a kinder or better brother, maybe they wouldn’t have felt this way or done those things? Would they then have loved him as brothers should love each other? ( Genesis 37)
And Jesus? As one of His inner circle betrayed Him with the kiss of death, He experienced deep betrayal. Judas, one of His disciples, chose money over the deep relationship they’d had. How must this have felt to Jesus? What kind of evil and brokenness must Judas have had to do such a thing? Unlike us, Jesus lived a blameless and sinless life. He had no fault, but even He experienced. Betrayal was a huge element of his life! (John 18)
Friends, what these stories show us is that betrayal is in the hands of the betrayer. It is not ours to own nor does it place guilt on our shoulders. There is nothing we can do better or more to change the mind of a betrayer. It is not about us. Rather, it is all about the brokenness within them.
So, today, as you are dealing with rejection and betrayal, would you claim truth and victory over false guilt with these 6 affirming statements?
6 Truths You Need to Find Healing From Betrayal, Rejection, and Toxic Guilt
- I am loved more than I can I can ever imagine.
- I am taking a step away from false guilt.
- This betrayal is not mine to own. It is a situation I am in, but the actions of my betrayer are of their own making and choice.
- I know that false guilt is a lie from the enemy.
- I am a child created wonderfully by the one true King of the Universe.
- I am called worthy by an almighty God.
A Prayer to Heal From Betrayal, Rejection, and Toxic Guilt
When People Hurt You: Rising Above the Emotional Pain of Rejection and Betrayal is a series that looks into the Word of God as a guide to not just surviving but rising victoriously over hurt. Each week I address a new aspect of rejection and betrayal that serves to keep us stuck in the pain rather than moving forward to where we want to be. (If you missed a post, then you can get caught up HERE!)
Dear Jesus, You call us by name, knowing even our innermost parts, our every thought, and the condition of our hearts. You know the truth of our every situation just as You know the truth behind the rejection and betrayal we face.
You are the author of truth and where You exist lies cannot remain. Lord, today I ask You to break through the lies we believe. Shine Your light of Truth shattering them in the Name of Jesus. Fill our hearts with Your Truth so that we can let go of the lies we’ve held because of our encounter with rejection and betrayal.
Your Word tells us that there is no condemnation in You โ instead there is freedom. This is truth and we claim this right now. In the Name of Jesus, we pray. Amen
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Join Me for the Series About Overcoming Betrayal and Rejection!
Also, I’ve created a Scripture Based Journal and Growth Guide that corresponds to each weekly devotional post allowing you to go deeper and make each lesson more meaningful. It guides you on your journey to dealing with rejection.
This journal along with a set of printable Scripture Cards to give you hope is now in the Library of Hope! If you have already subscribed to our community, jump on over and grab your copy! If you haven’t subscribed, what are you waiting for? Just use the form below for your access to the Library of Hope and this journal!
Want to Read all the Posts In the “When People Hurt You” Series?
- 7 Powerful Truths You Need to Help You Overcome Betrayal and Rejection
- How Do You Get Over Betrayal, Rejection, and Toxic Guilt?
- Escaping the Victim Triangle: What to Choose When Someone Hurts You
- 5 Powerful Faith Quotes for When Life Is Not Fair
- Choosing Forgiveness Over Revenge: A Prayer for Forgiveness
- Building Inner Strength: How to Transform Your Pain into a Powerful Way Forward
- Getting Unstuck: Letting Go of the Past and Choosing to Live Again
- Finding Jesus in the Broken Church
This Week’s Featured #MomentsofHope Writers
10 Powerful Reasons to Pray for Your Marriage
by Valerie Murray of Cord of 6
by Laura Thomas
7 Biblical Truths I Learned from My Mother
by Christin of Garments of Splendor
Before I go, please don’t forget to jump on over to these sites and leave some #MomentsofHope comment and sharing love!
Amen! Blaming ourselves for the behavior and actions of others is a burden that’s really heavy to bear. And Jesus wants to take that burden from us. Thanks for this reminder, Lori. Blessings to you.
He really does – but sometimes we struggle with letting go, don’t we? What a beautiful victory it is to experience though when we finally hand it over! Thanks so much for visiting, Boma!
What a powerful post this is! Betrayal is in the hands of the betrayer! I love your truth statements over false guilt. Thank you for featuring my post today friend! You are a blessing to me.
Thanks so much, Valerie! I am so grateful for you!
We do not want to live under the lies of the enemy. No matter what we do, he will still call us guilty. So glad we can step away from this cycle of false guilt and into the freedom of Christ and his truths. Thanks for this series.
It took me so many years to step out of that cycle. I owe it all to Christ. It wasn’t until I fully embraced His love and Truth, that I could clearly recognize the difference between lies and truth. And that changed everything! Thanks so much for joining me, Theresa!
We’re awfully good at translating the rejection and betrayal of others into our relationship with God. It’s so crucial that we fill our minds with truth from Scripture about God’s steadfast love!
So true, Michele. We so easily allow our feelings to lead us astray. Filling our minds with God’s Truth keeps us in check!
A much-needed reminder that God frees us from all guilt and shame! I’m sorry you had to experience that, but I’m thankful you’re using your story to encourage others!
Amen, Emily! God does free us!
What a great reminder to let go of that guilt that is no longer ours. Romans 8:1 is one of my favorite verses: “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” It’s too easy for me to feel that false guilt, but I don’t need it! Thanks, Lori.
Such a good verse, Lisa. It is one that has been instrumental in overcoming so many difficult seasons in my life, as well!
Good word. laurensparks.net
Thank you, Lauren!
Lori, thank you for sharing that today, so many believe the lies of the enemy, that it is their fault when it is absolutely not! And it is perpetrated by the betrayer that way too! Especially those who are betrayed by the very ones whom should be loving & protecting them…
May you know His comfort & love anew today,
Jennifer
Such an encouragement Lori. I’ve been there for too many years myself, and the fascinating thing is that as we surrender, take hold of God’s truth and accept his strength to pull us out of the pit for good, it forces the other person to deal with their own reality. And that place is not easy either, but God longs for us all to live in His truth, not our own. This lie of rejection is rampant in our world, in our churches and in our families. I’m so glad you are tackling it here. Hugs, Crystal
God may have nudged you to write this just for me! Thank you, dear friend! This is an ongoing battle for me and you spoke directly to my heart! Love you!!
Guilt will destroy us and block what we need to do and see. I remember once a doctor telling me, “You don’t have time for the luxury of wallowing in guilt.” I needed to put it aside so I could concentrate on what was before me and how to help my child. Great post. I pinned it.
Just picture the court of heaven, Jesus as you Advocate, the devil accusing and badgering the witness. God slams the gavel and over rules him, and finds us not guilty! The devil is powerless after the crucifixion, we have a better covenant and promises than Job, he still accuses, so we can’t listen.
Amen, sister! Thank you for sharing these words of truth, and thank you for featuring my post! ๐ I am SO thankful for you, and for your powerful ministry. The Lord is using you in amazing ways to expose the lies of the enemy and lead women to the marvelous light of Christ’s love! I pray that one day our paths will cross again!