A healthy Mom knows she is loved.
Bold, I know. Yet true.
But first let me explain …
We see it multiple times every day.
Lots of friends and likes.
Life is difficult already, yet today we are inundated with visual impressions on social media 24/7. The weakness of our humanity lures us into comparison. A comparison that tells us our everyday existence falls significantly short of the mirage of “good enough”. Christian parenting becomes a struggle when we compare ourselves to others.[bctt tweet=”The weakness of our humanity lures us into comparison. A comparison that tells us our everyday existence falls significantly short of the mirage of “good enough”. #comparison #socialmedia #christianparenting #reconnectingrelationships #hope” username=”lori_schumaker”]
Comparison kills purpose. It suffocates creativity and it cripples victory.
It effects us, our relationships, and most definitely our parenting. Because when we feel less than, it is nearly impossible to function at our best.[bctt tweet=”Comparison kills purpose,suffocates creativity and cripples victory.It effects us,our relationships,and most definitely our parenting because when we feel less than,it is nearly impossible to function at our best. #christianparenting #comparison #socialmedia #reconnecting” username=”lori_schumaker”]
So, how do we handle it?
By knowing we are loved.
Not just any love because the love we find here on Earth is fickle. It’s a truth we don’t like, but there’s a reason for it. You see, even the best of humans are broken. We are not perfection (even if our Instagram account insinuates differently!) We all fall short and our love runs only as deep as our humanity.
But God’s love transcends humanity. His love is perfection. It is unfailing and beyond anything our simple minds can embrace.
Friends, His love is what gives us a powerful weapon against every ugly trick the enemy throws our way. A powerful weapon I call holy confidence. But, we must intentionally choose to embrace that holy confidence and take it into the battlegrounds of life and Christian parenting.
It is the key to Christian parenting.
7 Ways Holy Confidence Makes You a Better Parent
1. We face fear head-on.
As a Christian Parent, I know I am loved, I know I and my children are protected by the ultimate Protector. Without worry, I can live with peace. I don’t need to hyper or helicopter parent and I can let go of control as my children grow through each season of life. Fear does not stop me from allowing them to walk according to God’s plan.
For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. -2 Timothy 1:6-7 ESV
2. We do not suffer the effects of false guilt.
When I know I am loved, I know the difference between false guilt and conviction. I do not place untrue guilt upon myself for my child’s poor choices. Rather, their poor choices serve as a checkpoint for re-evaluation and any necessary changes I need to make. And they serve as a moment to recognize God as their true Father and practice my faith as I surrender them and their life plan to Him.
There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. -Romans 8:1 ESV
3. We grasp the vastness of His gift to us.
When I know I am loved, I fully grasp the perfection of His love. I soak in the privilege of parenting God’s children on this side of the cross and recognize not only the miracle of life, but the power of love.
Every good present and every perfect gift comes from above, from the Father who made the sun, moon, and stars. -James 1:17a GW
4. We do not allow comparison to take root.
When I know I am loved, I know that God created me uniquely in body and mind. I realize that my children and life journey are different, not less than and not comparable. But beautifully unique.
But now, O Lord, you are our Father; we are the clay, and you are our potter; we are all the work of your hand. -Isaiah 64:8 ESV
5. We determine the purpose of discipline.
When I know I am loved, I understand that behavior is connected to heart. When I discipline my children, it is not out of anger or of “being right.” It is about shepherding their hearts.
The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. -Luke 6:45 ESV
6. We separate shame from our mistakes.
When I know I am loved, I know that even when I make mistakes, I am given another chance. It propels me into courageously asking both God and those I have offended for forgiveness. I walk in freedom knowing that God separates my sin from me as far as the East is from the West. Shame then cannot define me nor stop me from being the parent God calls me to be.
He has not treated us as we deserve for our sins or paid us back for our wrongs. As high as the heavens are above the earth—that is how vast his mercy is toward those who fear him. As far as the east is from the west—that is how far he has removed our rebellious acts from himself. -Psalm 103:10-12 GW
7. We set healthy boundaries.
When I know I am loved, I can set healthy boundaries for myself and for my children. I recognize when sacrifice slips into enablement and toxicity attempts to control my life.
Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one. -Matthew 5:37
Confidence is defined as: the full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing.
Holy confidence takes that trust and belief out of the hands of a fallible world and transfers it to the one and only infallible Power.
Wouldn’t we rather have our trust in a 100% sure thing than in a far-from-perfect us?
How would things be different for you if you changed your mindset from self or world confidence to holy confidence?
Choose any of the above 7 verses.
Next Step Challenge:
Catch yourself as you interact with your children. Notice what triggers an elevated blood pressure, anxiety, or fear. Then, in those situations, finish this sentence:
“Because I know I am loved, I can ______________________________________.”
Would you like to catch up on the remainder of the Feeling Disconnected Series? Click the link in the sidebar or click HERE! Or would you like a printable PDF version of the prayer above? You can find that in the resource-filled Library of Hope! Click HERE to get access to that!
The How Do You See Yourself Free Online Quiz!
I have created an interactive 5-minute quiz that will tell you how well you see yourself as a reflection of Christ versus a reflection of an ever-changing and often angry world. What is your Identity Factor (IF) and how does it effect all of your relationships? Do you long for more than the world’s reflection?
And then be on the look-out for a soon releasing email course titled Longing for More than the World’s Reflection. It will walk you through the steps to seeing yourself in the reflection of an unwavering and loving God rather than in the unsteady and often angry reflection of the world. Stay tuned for more information![bctt tweet=”7 Ways Holy Confidence Makes You a Better Parent #takethequiz #healthyrelationships #identity #grace #hope #Godslove #linkup” username=”lori_schumaker”]
Hope for Christian Parenting
On the hearts and minds of all of us right now is the tragedy in Parkland, Florida. The debates fill the newswires. Is it gun control? School safety? Mental health? But as I see situation after situation of prank threats to schools around the nation, I am convicted of the tragedy that represents the condition of the hearts of our children and families. We have a connection problem. Our children are not learning empathy.
That was what God had placed on my heart when I began planning this series. It’s the too often display of bitterness and hatred. It’s a lack of connection … But I never dreamed that during this series, such a horrible tragedy would occur.
As Christian Parents we can remeber that God is looking out for us, loving us, and making the difference in how we love others. A legacy we can pass on to our children.