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Lord, Give Me Strength to Parent Without Fear

Lord, give me strength was the prayer of my mama heart.

I remember the day I walked out of the church nursery without the sounds of my little guy crying. For months I’d had to put on my brave face, walk away, and believe he would soon realize Mommy would always come back. But brave face or not, those cries undoubtedly felt like the undoing of my heart piece by piece.

Zach was not only my first child (and therefore my learning curve), but he had come into the world with health problems. He had a disease called Hirschprungs which necessitated surgery in those first few weeks of life followed by months of healing. I think it set the new insecure Mama in me into hyper vigilance mode right from the start.

This little boy was my heart on the outside. As I’d sat hours upon hours in the NICU holding him as closely as all the wires and tubes would permit, I’d tuned into every detail. Never before had I felt such love and never before had I felt so helpless to control a situation.

Parenting awakes your soul to both a love and a fear that surpasses anything you've ever felt before. #fear #parenting Click To Tweet

Lord, Give Me the Strength to Parent Without Fear: Why We Need to Stop Letting Fear Control Our Parenting #prayer #motherhood #praying #christianparenting #hope#parenting

The First of a Thousand Steps

But I think he was about 2 when it happened. I walked into the church nursery, set him down, gave him a kiss, and away he walked. He stopped to look back, but this time he didn’t cry. This time he turned toward all the fun awaiting him and jumped in.

Let go and give him wings to grow #parenting #nomorefear #momentsofhope Click To Tweet

It was one of the first of thousands of steps he will take in his lifetime toward independence. Toward fully living out his purpose. Toward following the plan God set for him long before time.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. -Ephesians 2:10 NLT

And it was the first of a thousand times I would open my hands in trust so that I could serve as a lighthouse for him. As Mama, I’d been given the privilege to guide and warn this precious life here on earth. I had the opportunity to empower him to live out the purpose for which he was created.

But it was one of the first of many battles I would face as fear would try it’s best to settle in. The fear that rises up in all of us igniting an alarming need to control.

… And to hover.

I call it the dance of
Protecting
and
preparing.
As your child grows, how are you doing in the dance of protecting and preparing? #lighthouseparent #helicopterparent #MomentsofHope Click To Tweet

Lord, Give Me Strength to Parent Without Fear | Why We Need to Stop Letting Fear Control Our Parenting #parenting

Parenting is a combination of both, but as we battle fear, the dance often becomes one-sided. We get so caught up in the protecting, we forget about the preparing. We fall into the trap of what society has coined the “Helicopter Parent”.

We often get so caught up in the protecting of our children, we forget the important part of preparing! #fear #parenting #MomentsofHope Click To Tweet

Children are an inheritance from the Lord. They are a reward from him. The children born to a man when he is young are like arrows in the hand of a warrior. -Psalm 127:3-4 GW

Why did God describe children as He did in this verse? I think it has something to do with the battles they will inevitably face, the purpose they will have, and the work they are to do.

A purpose that took the time, effort, and intentionality of the warrior who prepared them.

When arrows were created at that time, factories were not the creators. The arrows were hand-made with detail and precision. Prepared. Sharpened.

Not kept protected in bubble wrap where the sharpening couldn’t happen and where the hard work didn’t take place.

Friends, as Mamas, we have to ask ourselves the hard questions.

Are we putting our children in bubble wrap? Are we protecting them so much we aren’t allowing them the sharpening they need to go forth into the battlefield of life?

Do we clean their every mess stealing away from them the opportunity to be responsible and learn cause and effect?

Do we steal their voices leaving them incapable of addressing issues in their lives because we step in fixing the problems for them before they even have a chance?

Do we rob them of their desires to pursue achievement because we make their school projects our projects, ultimately communicating to them their efforts are not sufficient?

Do we block, stop, and protect so much they never cultivate the courage to become risk takers who change the world for the better?

Or, do we make them so comfortable, they develop fears of the unknown?

As parents, we have to ask ourselves the hard questions about our parenting! #fear #helicopterparent #lighthouseparent Click To Tweet
Why We Need to Stop Letting Fear Control Our Parenting | Today's Parent #parenting
Becoming a Lighthouse

You guys, I WANT to be a Lighthouse Parent. I really do! But it’s not easy! There are days I rock at shining that light out there and letting my babies strengthen their wings to fly solo someday. But then there are other days I completely blow it by stealing where can i buy nolvadex in the uk their wings and replacing them with the ones belonging to my helicopter.

I’m with you in this, Mamas. I know it’s hard to let go. To slowly relinquish the tight grip of control we adapted to so easily when handed the gift of Motherhood. That little being that once demanded our help for every single thing – the one who became our heart living on the outside – now needs us to begin the long journey of letting go.

It almost seems impossible at times, doesn’t it?

Yet it’s not. Friend, if this is a battle you are fighting. Stay aware of the fear the enemy loves to plant. Keep your eyes on the Truth. Don’t say you trust in God, but then live in a manner that says you do not.

On the days you slip up, have grace for yourself. It will happen because we all are just works in progress. But get back up and get to the work of letting go bit by bit.

Remember you are building up warriors. Train them. Remind them the Almighty is fighting with them and their lighthouse will never dim. When they fall, Mama can’t rewind the time and stop what happened. But she will always be there to wipe away the tears, provide a refuge in the moment, and give them counsel so they can bravely step back out into the world with purpose like the arrow they were created to be.

Lord, Give Me Strength: A Prayer to Parent without Fear

A Prayer to Parent Without Fear | Why We Need to Stop Letting Fear Control Our Parenting | Today's Parent
The Library of Hope is filled with resources such as this printable. When you subscribe you get full access!
A Prayer to Parent Without Fear #printable #nomorefear #MomentsofHope #linkup #lighthouseparent Click To Tweet

Hope for the Back-to-School Mom Series

Missed part of the  Series? Get caught up HERE! Or by clicking on each image below!

7 Scriptures to Pray When Your Children Go to School; Preparing with prayer for your child's school year. | Lori Schumaker | Hope for the Back-to-School Mom | Praying for Children     To the Mom Desperately Searching for Balance in her Out Of Whack Life | Feeling the effects of an unbalanced life? How do we, as Moms manage it? And is there even such a thing?     Why We Need to Stop Letting Fear Control Our Parenting | Today's Parent #parenting     Everyday examples of ways to stop parenting on empty and get your energy back. #exhaustedparent

And when you subscribe to Searching for Moments and commit to filling your mind and heart with positive hope-filled content on a consistent basis, you get full access to the Library of Hope. From this series alone, you not only get the prayer image in this post, but you get the set of 7 Scripture Cards to pray for your child! Click HERE to subscribe!

7 Scriptures to Pray as Your Children Go to School



Featured #MomentsofHope Post

Do you have a child who seems to feel things a LOT more deeply than the average kid? The kind of empathy that goes above and beyond while bringing with it emotions that simply aren’t healthy?

So, what IS a Mom to do in that situation?

Jamie, from The Mom Gene, writes, “As great as empathy can be, sometimes you need to turn down the volume on the emotive remote, but how do I teach my kid to be a little less empathetic without toughening her too much? Like Goldilocks, what state is “just right” in the softening of a heart without it bleeding out or turning to stone?”

I think you will be just as intrigued as I was and see just why a Lighthouse Mama needs to have this part of her game developed, as well! Jump on over to “How to Protect Your Empathetic Kid From all the Feels” and while you are there, would you give Jamie some great big #MomentsofHope love!

Lord give me strength to parent without fear.



#MomentsofHope Link-Up

Friends, let’s make sure we continue sharing hope with each other. I know we get so busy and quite exhausted at times. But when you link up and then take the time to stop by another blog to leave some comment love and hopefully share their post on social media, you are paying HOPE forward. Let’s do this the right way for each other, okay??

Join us for the #MomentsofHope Link-Up! Share hope and be encouraged every Monday! #hope Click To Tweet

Each week I’ll be visiting as many posts as possible, sharing them to my Moments of Hope Group Board on Pinterest as well as my other social media platforms when applicable, and choosing one post each week to feature.

Thank you for joining me here each week to share the hope given to us through Christ. Whether your words come from a story that points to the full healing you have experienced in Christ, or its a story of the journey along the road to the healing you know He is working in you, it is giving hope to others. Your words matter and it honors me to have you share them here in this space!

What I ask of you:#MomentsofHope Link-up; www.lorischumaker.com; Read, share, and together hope for tomorrow.
  1. Share up to 2 blog post URLs resonating with the topic of HOPE. That which gives us hope for tomorrow and hope for victory. The little things and the big that inspire us to lean into Jesus and let Him carry us through.

2.#MomentsofHope is a place to give and get hope, so let’s encourage others in their efforts to share the hope of Jesus. If you have time, stop by more than one sweet writer’s little corner of the blog world!

  1. Please either grab the #MomentsofHope button found here or link back to me. If you’ve been featured, grab your button here!

Finally, find me linking up with these encouraging places!
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26 Comments

  1. This post takes me back to some advice we received when we were contemplating homeschooling nearly 20 years ago. (It must be good if I still remember it, right?) Our friend said that more important than our choice was the reason for our choice. Whatever we decided, we should not choose it out of fear. I’ve applied that principle to more than one decision over the years.

    1. Wow, that really is great advice, Michele! Yes, we mustn’t choose out of fear. We must choose based on a solid reason. Thank you for sharing that with us!

  2. Amen!!!! Lori, this is awesome! Filled with truth and honesty. I love the idea of the dance of protect and prepare. It’s perfect!! <3

    1. Oh, thank you, Deb. Yes, it’s hard to watch them grow, but at the same time, it’s so great to see them progressing through various phases of childhood on their way to adulthood. Thank you for your encouragement!

  3. nylseesahc says:

    Even it you think you’re a lighthouse parent there are moments when fear can get the best of us. It’s at those times that we/I realize that my fear won’t protect my child and as a matter of fact its not the best thing for him/her. Its in those moments I learn to trust God more; take every thought captive; sing hymns; prayer; reach out to others and stand firm in His promises. It’s also here that I have learned that faith has a greater return and greater value than fear.

    1. What a great point – my fear won’t protect my child. Not only do I learn to trust God, but it can be a great opportunity for our children to trust God as well. Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts – I am encouraged!

  4. What an amazing post! I am guilty of each question you asked. With my oldest, I parented from a fear of “I’ll never let what happened to me happen to her.” In doing so, I limited her ability to see God for herself. Just like bubble wrap wasn’t actually created for protecting, we weren’t created to be the ultimate protector…He was. Thank you for the encouragement to shepherd our kids from a fearless, truth infused stand!

    1. Oh, Esther, yes! Our plans for how we want to parent early on in parenting years are often very different from later in parenting, aren’t they? I’m thankful for God’s grace through all of this!

  5. This is good advice, Lori! Too many helicopters and not near enough lighthouses out there! Keep the light burning bright for your children and for others too! God Bless you!!

    1. I appreciate your encouragement! We do need to let our lights shine, and encourage our childrens’ faith in the process. Blessings!

  6. I find it difficult to respond between the tears. Your post hit home in so many ways. It has been a hard week around here. I woke up feeling like I failed on all levels. Yes, I need God’s grace. You post encouraged me to give myself grace and in the midst of the hard week not to give in to fear. Thank you for your timely post.

    1. Oh, Maree, hugs sweet friend! New mercies, every morning. Great is His faithfulness! I’m praying for you today, asking the Lord to just encourage your heart today! Thank you for being here!

      1. Thank you for your prayer. I am praying for you too right now as I send this to you.

        Just letting you know I nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award over at http://www.embracingtheunexpected.com/blogger-recognition-award/

        Please do not feel obligated to do a thing. You are one of my favorite writers, and I thought it would be a fantastic opportunity to let others know about your website.

        Blessings,

        Maree

  7. Oh Lori, you spoke so warmly yet strongly to this mama. I had waited and waited for my children and the past three years I have held them so close to my heart since I too saw them fragile in th NICU. Letting them to go the Sunday school class for the first time was really hard . I felt suddenly empty until the Lord said to me ” He is watching over them “!

    I am still learning to let go and be a lighthouse instead .

    Blessings
    So glad to link up with you today

    Diana

    1. Oh, Diana, thank you so much for sharing this part of your story. It’s such a hard thing to let them go. But there is so much grace as we lean in to Jesus in those moments. Blessings!

  8. It IS a dance and i’ve never had natural rhythm. What you’ve learned and are learning will be so very helpful to another first time mom in a similar dance- and you will help her find her steps.

    1. Thank you for those sweet words! I appreciate you!

  9. This is such the right time for me! Not for parenting per se, but because we’re about to embark on the transition to being grandparents in a few months, and the analogy that has come to me is to be a lighthouse for our grandkids. 🙂 We’re traveling to Maine in a few days to celebrate our anniversary and to mark this transition, and I have planned to create a special moment at a lighthouse. Thanks, Lori!

    1. Oh, Lisa, how wonderful to hear this great news! Yes, a lighthouse – we need more grandparents who are willing to step into this role and remind my generation and my kids’ generation of how to continue in faith, even in the storms.
      Enjoy your trip, happy anniversary, and we can’t wait to hear more about your new grandchild!

  10. What a great post, Lori! I love the protecting and preparing thought! I have been that momma many times over leaving my child when they’ve been crying, not because I didn’t love, but I loved enough to enable them to separate from me.

    1. It’s a tough thing, that separating, isn’t it? I love what you’ve said – “…but I loved enough to enable them to separate…” That’s a hard thing for us to do as parents, but it’s such a necessary step for both parent and child. Thank you, Julie!

  11. Ooh! I love that analogy between “bubble-wrapping” our kids and letting them be sharpened like arrows, Lori! But I also understand and can relate completely to the helicopter parenting we all do. In fact, my oldest son has been facing some health issues this past year that have lingered on far longer than I, as his mama, would want! So I pray what I call “tug-of-war” prayers for him with the Lord. I know that God has Jordan in His mighty hand, whether He brings healing immediately or not! But I still stand knocking like that persistent widow–basically demanding or at least pleading for God to heal him. Oh my! Need to lay my son down and let God be God! Thanks for this inspiring and convicting post, my friend! Parenthood never gets any easier! ha!

    1. Oh, Beth, praying with you today for your son – for the health issues, for healing, for God’s faithfulness in his life. But also praying for you, as the mom who wants to see the healing and trust God’s faithfulness. Thank you for sharing so I can pray with you! I think you’re right – parenthood doesn’t get easier, just different at different stages. 🙂 Blessings, Beth!