Making Marriage a Priority
For those of you that have been hanging out here with me for a while, you may remember that last August, Bryan and I went away for a week! It was our first trip alone in 13 years and it was much needed! (In case you are interested, you can read about that here!)
We’d realized that lasting marriages involved making the marriage a priority and we hadn’t been doing that! Life had dealt some blows and our marriage had gone through a difficult season. As we were working through those difficulties, we decided we needed some time to reconnect. So, the trip was planned. The children were covered and would be in good hands. And off we went.
We had time to remember why we fell in love in the first place. We talked more and laughed more. And it was good. So very good. We knew that for us and our lifestyle that doesn’t leave much time for us to even have date nights, it was a commitment we needed to make to each other. During this season of our marriage, we would commit to getting away alone together at least once each year.
Making Time Now for Our Marriage!
Well, of course the year snuck up on us and August was already here again. Because it is our only month with a chance to get away, if it wasn’t now, it would have to wait until next year! So, Bryan whisked me away for a wonderful 4-night getaway to Cabo San Lucas! Living in Arizona makes Cabo only a quick 2-hour flight.
So, I guess it’s easy to say there were lots of #MomentsofHope in the last 5 days!! Moments of fun, togetherness, and plain old relaxation! For both of us, Cabo is like a piece of Heaven on Earth! Something about this place simply takes my breath away. I hear the whisper, but yet the power of God with every crashing wave when I am there.
But, wait! I’ve got more! Making marriage a priority is important! God has been firmly impressing that upon my heart lately. In the last year I have witnessed too many marriages fail. And for those that have failed, there are several more who are struggling desperately to keep their marriage alive.
Friends, the enemy wants to destroy the very covenant God has chosen as a way to demonstrate His unfailing love and faithfulness. He wants marriage null and void. He wants it powerless and useless. Yes, he wants to tear apart that which God has sealed together.[bctt tweet=”The enemy wants to destroy the very covenant God has chosen as a way to demonstrate His unfailing love and faithfulness #marriage #priority #searchingformoments” username=”lori_schumaker”]
So because making marriage a priority is important, this September is going to be Marriage Month here on the blog!
Two things are happening!
1) I’m rolling out a marriage series here on Searching for Moments and
2) I’m honored to be participating in a marriage series over on my friend, Crystal Twaddell’s blog!
You will love this series (and her site – she’s wise, compassionate, and just pretty darn amazing!) Here’s what she says about the series: “Come prepared to be strengthened and encouraged to rise above the unhappy times, focus on the positives, breathe life into your marriage and find lasting joy in a long-term view!”
My series is called Building a Lasting Love Story. It is a 6-week series in which you will gain inside secrets, tools, ideas, and inspiration to loving your spouse well in each season of marriage. Whether you are in the newly married without children season or you are an empty nester, this series is for you. It will give you inspiration to keep going and the hope to know it is possible to build a lasting love story.
Make sure to join the Searching for Moments Community at the end of this post or in the sidebar so you don’t miss any installments. Plus there will be some bonus features available in the Library of Hope just for community members!
Marriage Needs to Be a Priority!
In the spirit of making marriage a priority, I chose my dear friend Beth Steffaniak’s post Lessons on Love in Marriage! Beth writes at Messy Marriages and has been a favorite blogger of mine for a while now. Her posts on marriage always challenge me and give me cause to rethink bad habits!
This week, she wrote these words about her post, “I want to unpack the truths so that we know better “how to truly love” our spouses.”
Wow! How good was God to give me these affirmations for the upcoming month? I love it when He spoils me like that! ♥ Stop on by Beth’s blog and I promise you will be encouraged, challenged, and leave rethinking at least some of those bad habits!
And, just so you know …
I’m so glad you’re here. ♥
[bctt tweet=”Do you need hope today?Come join us today at #searchingformoments” username=”lori_schumaker”]
So important! And the older our children become, the more challenging it has been to carve out alone time for bonding and re-grouping. Thanks for the sweet reminder!
Isn’t it funny, Michele? I thought the chaotic time was when they were toddlers. I never realized how much less time Bryan and I would have as we got to these teen and older child years! Their activities keep us running in opposite directions constantly! And then they never seem to go to bed so that we can have time to ourselves! Yikes!
Indeed, yes, the enemy is out to destroy marriages, especially Christian marriages. I see that in my own life. Gary and I celebrated our 30th anniversary back in February, but there was a time when I never expected to celebrate 5, let alone 30. Thankfully, we persevered through the difficult times, and our marriage is stronger because of it. However, I know that just because we have hit 30, it doesn’t mean the battle is over. We must continually make our marriage a priority in these empty nest years.
Your trip sounds delightful. I’m glad your husband whisked you away for a holiday together.
I love reading your testimony, Patti. Since Day 1, you have had my full attention! You have gleaned so much wisdom through your experiences and share what leaning into Jesus looks like. Thank you, friend!
I’m so glad you and your hubby were able to get away and how great that Cabo is such a quick flight away! I agree completely about carving out time as a couple. That is so foundational for a family–the mom and dad need time to be just a “couple.” And thank you so much for highlighting my post, Lori! I truly appreciate it!
Thank you, Beth! You are a blessing!
Lori, what a wonderful idea! My husband and I have been talking a lot lately about how we will “play” together. Now that our kids are getting older there is a possibility of us traveling together. We both love to explore new places. I’d love to hear more about the places you go to that you love! Thanks for sharing your marriage secrets with us today.
I’d love to share with you the places we have discovered! I’ll be praying those travel plans happen for you two soon!
Lori- I’m excited to read about your wisdom in regards to marriage! I want a marriage that lasts so I will be tuning in. We have 17 years under our belt but it’s been intentional work.
I know my hubby and I need to get away and connect, but we don’t have reliable child care for our children which makes it even more difficult. So we try to when time allows to sneak away for a few hours. It’s so good to focus on “us” because we are always focusing on “them.”
Thanks for the linkup!
Those few hours you grab with your husband are great and I believe God will multiply them into exactly what your relationship needs! Childcare is a huge issue and the reason why it took us 13 years to take our first getaway 🙂 Although I think getaways alone are absolutely marvelous, I do not think they are absolutely necessary. I think we have to embrace the life situation with which God has gifted us and fully engage in it. As another season arrives, other opportunities will, too.
Blessings and smiles,
Thank you for this post! It was really encouraging to read, and as a newlywed a pertinent reminder to pay attention to ways that I can be intentional in my marriage. Thank you!
Praying sweet blessings over your marriage, Alethea! Thank you for visiting and sharing!
Blessings and smiles,
I love it Lori! I excited for your series and know that God will encourage many of us through it. Making our marriages a priority is vital!
Thanks, Angela! I pray the series encourages and blesses others! I’d love your prayers, too!
Blessings and smiles,
So well said, Lori! The best gift we give our children is taking time to love each other (hubby and wife) well! It takes a commitment and considerable intentionality to do that, but it is so worth it! At 51 years of marriage, those days with children at home are in the rear view mirror, but it still takes commitment and intentionality to keep a marriage growing, fresh, and alive. Too many couples who came into my office before I retired as a marriage and family therapist had started a path to what Dr. Tim Clinton calls “disaffection” and as Dr. John Gottman points out…the four horse men of the apocalypse were well on their way to moving from disaffection to divorce. Great post! These facts and truths need to be repeated often at every season of marriage.
Thanks, Pam! Disaffection – what a good word! I didn’t realize you had been a marriage and family therapist! What a great tidbit of information for me to keep in the back of my mind! I may need to pick your brain! 🙂
Blessings and smiles,
Excited about your series, Lori! (and happy to hear that you got some time away to re-connect with your man one on one. So important!)
Thanks so much, Lylie!
It’s so important to make marriage a priority! I look forward to your series. 🙂 My hubby and I haven’t been away overnight in a few years because we’ve always had at least one child that was too little (and it’s hard to find sitters for so many…). However, we make an effort to go on dates whenever we can. Daytime dates work best. 🙂
You are in those tough years, Tasha. It’s why it took us 13 years to go on that first getaway! Just as we got to the point where we could leave our boys with someone, we brought our daughter home and her needs were more than we could have imagined. Although, I think it is healthy for every couple to get away, it isn’t always possible nor necessary. We have different seasons of life and I fully believe God will fill those moments when we keep our hearts aligned with Him!
Blessings, sweet friend!
Great reminder for all of us Lori. It gets easier once the kids are gone – it’s like a being newly married again. Glad you are carving out special times now.
Yay! I can’t wait to have that special time with my man again!!! ♥ Thanks so much, Debbie, for stopping by to make me smile today!