Creating an Atmosphere of Healing {Series}: Betrayal and Revenge

I am back, you guys! Thanks so much sticking with me as I had to step away from this series and be a little quiet in the blog world for a few days! I am thrilled to be back, though!!!

Week 1 – An overview. What are the 7 truths?

Week 2 – Guilt

Week 3 – Identity

Week 4 – Unconditional Acceptance (with a fun 17-Scripture printable set of cards)

And if you are new here and haven’t gotten my companion journal to go hand-in-hand with this series, it is my thank-you gift when you subscribe to receive the weekly Searching for Moments post update.

Betrayal Companion Journal

Friends, this topic has been swirling about in my brain! It’s a heavy topic, but one that I see often glamorized by society. It’s a common theme in music, in movies and on television. They tell us revenge is sweet, but they usually fail to tell us that revenge has the power to dismantle our souls.

Betryal and Revenge - Social Media

When we are betrayed our flesh desires the removal of the pain. It reacts by doing one of two things. Push it away, burying it deep inside with a hope of forgetting it ever happened. Or, fight back, lash out, and seek revenge. It’s like that fight or flight response I talked about in my last post. Both provide momentary distractions from the pain.

But can I gently look into your eyes right now and tell you that neither of those responses will make it permanently go away? Neither of those responses will heal that ache in your heart?

He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly. 1 Peter 2:23

Our priority in our response to the hurt of betrayal must be healing. Without healing, we cannot move toward living out our purpose. We will never experience fullness of the fruit of our life efforts.

Our priority in our response to the hurt of betrayal must be healing #revengeisnottheanswer #hope Click To Tweet

Recently I listened to an interview of Cynthia Ruchti, author of Tattered and Mended. Her book talks about the fact that as a society we have gotten more comfortable with the tattered edges of our brokenness. We are beginning to be transparent with them and loved in spite of them, however, we often get stuck in the brokenness instead of seeking the freedom offered through Christ.

In her interview, she talked about the need for an “atmosphere where healing can happen”. She used a medical atmosphere as an example. If there is a wound, the proper atmosphere needs to be created for healing to occur. The wound must be cleaned out and no room for infection remain. Any hands that touch the wound must be clean and free from germs or the healing could be sabotaged.

Isn’t that what we need when the wound is deep in our hearts?
We need an atmosphere that promotes healing.
An atmosphere where the infection is kept out.
Not an atmosphere of bitterness and revenge.

Sweet friend, if you are holding onto dreams of revenge, I promise that bitterness is quietly growing behind those dreams. Bitterness starts as a root and grows throughout every portion of our being. It’s like a weed that chokes out all that is good.

Healing cannot happen in that atmosphere.

Work at getting along with each other and with God. Otherwise you’ll never get so much as a glimpse of God. Make sure no one gets left out of God’s generosity. Keep a sharp eye out for weeds of bitter where can i buy tamoxifen online discontent. A thistle or two gone to seed can ruin a whole garden in no time. Watch out for the Esau syndrome: trading away God’s lifelong gift in order to satisfy a short-term appetite. You well know how Esau later regretted that impulsive act and wanted God’s blessing—but by then it was too late, tears or no tears. Hebrews 12:14-17 MSG

We are incapable of serving both love and bitterness. We cannot expect to live lives of joy, peace, and love while feelings of revenge, bitterness, and unforgiveness fill our thoughts. Without harmony our emotions are torn and life becomes exhausting. And we ultimately hurt the innocent bystanders. The ones who deserve our best.

We can't expect to live lives of joy,peace, &love while feelings of revenge,bitterness,& unforgiveness fill our thoughts #healing Click To Tweet

May I have the privilege of speaking into your lives right now?

And may I ask you to

… Let go of the bitterness?

… Give forgiveness?


… Let love in?

I know it’s difficult. I know the letting go and letting in takes a lot of vulnerability. But I believe in you. I believe in your courage. And I know that loving and being loved is at the foundation of your deepest need.

I know that when you let love in, you win. You win against every scheme and trick of the enemy. You win because you followed Jesus, and He walked you to victory over the depths of the deepest of betrayals.


Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!

Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.

Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, “I will take revenge; I will pay them back, “says the LORD.

Instead, “If your enemies are hungry, feed them.  If they are thirsty, give them something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals of shame on their heads.”*

Don’t let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

Romans 12:14-21


Creating an atmosphere of Healing

This week, I have two of Cynthia Ruchti’s books I’d like to give to one lucky winner! Tattered and Mended: The Art of Healing the Soul, and Ragged Hope: Surviving the Fallout of Other People’s Choices.  I just know these books will speak to your soul! You will be able to earn up to 10 entries through the Rafflecopter below. The giveaway will run one week from Monday, November 9 – Monday, November 16.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Here are some encouraging places where I sometimes link up my posts! Stop by to visit me and these lovely ladies! Best of the Blogosphere Link-Up, Playdates with God, Monday Musings, #MeetUpMonday, #InspireMeMonday#WordswithWinter, Titus 2sday, Titus 2 Tuesday, Different Dream, #RaRaLinkup, #IntentionalTuesday#TellHisStoryFind Joy Everyday, Whole Hearted Wednesday, A Little R and RWonderful Wednesdays, #ShareWithMeHolley Gerth’s Coffee for Your HeartSuzie Eller’s Live Free Thursday, Thankful Thursdays, Hearts for Home, Grace and TruthFaith Filled Friday, Fellowship Fridays, #DanceWithJesus,#FaithNFridaysThe Weekly BrewSaturday Sharefest, Still Saturday, #GiveMeGrace, Small Victories SundaysSharing His Beauty Link-up, Reflect His Love and Glory, Friendship Friday, Imparting Grace, Totally Terrific Tuesday, Women with Intention, Wise Woman Link-up, Faith and Fellowship,  Wedded Wednesday, #Waywow, and Worshipful Wednesdays

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  1. Sounds like an encouraging series, Lori! I’ll check out Cynthia’s books as well! Have a blessed week!

  2. Lori, Thank you for sharing such an edifying post!

    I was especially struck by the words you shared,

    “Isn’t that what we need when the wound is deep in our hearts?

    We need an atmosphere that promotes healing.

    An atmosphere where the infection is kept out.

    Not an atmosphere of bitterness and revenge.”

    I was blessed to visit here today. 🙂

    1. Hi Karen,
      I am so thankful you were blessed today. God is so good!

  3. Great to see you back!
    Another great sharing from you. Good luck to all who entered.

    1. Hi Lux,
      Thank you so much! I’m so glad you stopped by, friend! It reminded me of the last giveaway 🙂 I hope you were blessed by Susan’s book!

  4. Thank you for this giveaway. Please pray for me(and my family). thx

    1. Hi Su,
      My heart is with you and I am praying for you and for your family. Thank you for reaching out. Please feel free to email me if you would like to share more.

  5. Definitely some tough stuff today. But love wins the day.

    1. Amen, Liz! Love always wins! If only we let it, right? Thank you so much for visiting today!

  6. Lori,
    This is so true: “Without healing, we cannot move toward living out our purpose. We will never experience fullness of the fruit of our life efforts.” Thank you for your words of encouragement and healing 🙂

    1. Hi Dolly,
      It was so nice to see your comment today! I always love visiting Soulstops, as well! I am so thankful God used these words for encouragement and healing. He is so good!

  7. I feel like what you’ve shared today, Lori, truly speaks into what I’m trying to get wives to wake up to in dealing with their husband’s reluctance to open up. If we would simply lay down our daggers and trust God to convict and work in our spouse’s (or any offender’s) life, I know that great things could happen. Thank you for your inspiring challenge to each of us and would love to read this book!

    1. Hi Beth,
      I felt the same thing as I read your posts yesterday! I kept saying, “yes, yes, yes! Exactly!” Sometimes it is so difficult to lay down those daggers down, but when we can, healing can occur! Thank you so much for stopping by!

  8. Lori, as I considered your words on an atmosphere of healing, I thought about how I apply that to my everyday. When the hurt runs deep and I’m in need of a change of heart, I listen to praise. Worship turns my focus off me and turns it back to God, the true heart Healer. Thank you, Lori, for sharing your heart at #IntentionalTuesday. : )

    1. Hi Crystal, I SO agree! Worship is the perfect atmosphere of healing! Focusing on the Lord pushes our walls down to let His love in. With His love, anything is possible! Thank you so much for visiting!

  9. So good to have you back in full swing, friend.
    When I get tired I have friends stop by with their guest posts so I take sometime off to breathe..
    Back to the post….
    Yes Lori, unforgiveness, bitterness can make a soul lost and weary.
    I pinned up the prayer you shared too.
    Many blessings to you Lori

    1. Hi friend! Thank you!Funny, you mention guest posting! I’ve been tossing around a few ideas about guest posting and some other fun stuff! I need to pm you and pick your brain!

  10. Welcome back:) As a family therapist, I understand all too well that lack of healing reeks havoc on not just a soul, but on an entire support system. Healing requires vulnerability which is not easy after a hurt. It’s a huge leap of faith. Praying that your readers (including me) will pray on your words to take the next step in trusting God. Great blog!

    1. Hi Meg, It feels good to be back! Thank you so much for the kind words that were an affirmation to my own life story and to all that God has laid on my heart! I pray this space is one of hope, encouragement, love, and healing to all those that visit. I love what you said, “Healing requires vulnerability which is not easy after a hurt.” – Spot on!

  11. Amen Lori!!!

    Thanks for joining the DanceWithJesus linkup today! Hugs, Susan

    1. Hi Susan, It’s always so great to have you stop by and visit!

    1. Hi Judy,
      Thank you! I had heard of it, but honestly had not looked into it in depth! I will do so!

  12. An atmosphere of healing, I love that! Whether it is a physical, spiritual, or emotional healing we are in need of, an atmosphere of healing is one of the things needed to help heal. I LOVE the new look! I came over the other night while it was being worked on and couldn’t wait to see it. I love it! Thanks for sharing with Thankful Thursdays.

    1. So glad you like it, Lori! – Both the new look and the post 🙂 Thank you so much for hosting each week! You do such a great job of making each blogger feel welcome!

  13. Lori, this is beautiful — but hard — truth. I’m reviewing Isaiah 53 these days, and your words come alongside Isaiah’s in the gentle nature of Jesus who was silent before His executioners, the Shepherd who became the Lamb. May we live out that spirit of meekness when we are crushed.
    Blessings to you.

    1. Amen, Michele. I am praying those exact words with you – “that we live out that spirit of meekness when we are crushed.” Thank you for you kind and insightful comment! I am so glad we got the spam thing worked out! Thank you for watching out for me!

  14. Sounds like a much needed and encouraging series. Thank you for speaking these important truths – I pray that this series will minister to many. Glad to be your neighbor this week at Weekend Whispers.

    1. Thank you, Kym, for both your kind words of affirmation and for praying this prayer with me! I am so glad you were my neighbor, too!

  15. What a lovely post. i try to teach my children these lessons. We need to feel the pain, talk about it, cry about it, pray about it, all the above-over and over. Then we need to let it go. If those we love are continually hurting us, even inadvertently, we can love them from afar, but we mustn’t ever try to get even. Sometimes they are not in a position to change, but we are only responsible for ourselves. So we forgive and move on, praying that one day we will be able to be close with them again. That’s all we can do, and keep living life, being the best we can!

    1. Oh, Nikki! I loved where you went with this because it is exactly where today’s post and next week’s is heading! I am taking these words as affirmation that I am hearing God correctly! I so respect you, your writing, your testimony, and your ministry – I am honored that you found truth in my little corner of the blog world!

  16. Betrayal and Revenge are nasty little things in humans and it takes more negative energy for them than anything else in life. It’s awful. You always have inspiring words to follow here. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me and hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithme

    1. Hi Jenny,
      I wouldn’t miss it! As always, I love seeing your smile and reading your words each week!
      Blessings and smiles,

  17. This series will help many. Thank you for sharing and being obedient to write.

    1. Thank you so much, Barbie! Your words are treasured.