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Strength from the Vantage Point of Today

I’m coming down to the final posts in this betrayal series. I must admit, it has been difficult to coral in this rambling brain of mine! I’ve realized how much I like to dart off onto the next interesting thing. God has been doing some remolding of me as I stick to the series and listen for His direction! But I’m feeling the fruit of the follow-through and honored that God is touching hearts through the words I write here in this space. Thank you for being a part of it.

If this is your first visit here and you would like to get caught up, these links will help you do that! Did you know there is a Companion Journal e-book that goes hand-in-hand with this series in the Library of Hope? When you join the Searching for Moments Community, you get access to the library where you not only get the e-book, but you get every hope-filled resource I have ever created here!

Week 1 – An overview. What are the 7 truths?

Week 2 – Guilt

Week 3 – Identity

Week 4 – Unconditional Acceptance

Week 5 – Revenge

Betrayal Companion Journal

This week’s topic is “Betrayal and Lessons Learned”. Learning lessons from betrayal is nothing we stand in line for, but the learning and growth we can make from these seasons can bring us a strength we never knew we possessed.

Strength from the Vantage Point of Today

 

“When a woman gives birth, she has a hard time, there’s no getting around it. But when the baby is born, there is joy in the birth. This new life in the world wipes out memory of the pain. The sadness you have right now is similar to that pain, but the coming joy is also similar. When I see you again, you’ll be full of joy, and it will be a joy no one can rob from you. You’ll no longer be so full of questions. John 16:21-23 MSG

Betrayal stinks. However, as much as it stinks, if we do the work, God will use that pain to create a good. It is a good that we most likely won’t recognize in the midst of the hurt, but a good that will someday amount to more than we can ever imagine.

“Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success.” – William Saroyan

From the vantage point of today, I have a clearer view of the pain of my yesterdays.

Once upon a time that pain felt like a death to my soul. But today, that pain has become the glue that holds the soul of my story together.

Without that pain I would never have experienced the all-encompassing love and redemption of God. If I hadn’t needed Him, I wouldn’t have called out to Him.

At my lowest, when it felt like the world was saying I was a mess and unworthy of accomplishing the dreams of my heart, I met Jesus in a way I never had before. He stepped in and pulled me out.

And He began to teach me who I am –  in Him.

He began to peel back the layers of pain that

instead of working on,

I had stuffed in for years.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. Psalm 40:2

But the problem is that when betrayal strikes, we are filled with the kinds of emotions that the enemy desires for us to follow into a pit of hopelessness. The same pit that leaves us stuck and unable to grow.

In his book, Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn, John Maxwell says “Everyone experiences loss, but not everyone learns from it.” (I loved this book and highly recommend it!)

Learning is not something that just happens. It is something that happens when we make the intentional and disciplined effort to evaluate our losses.

Coach John Wooden is a favorite of mine. He is a basketball legend and basketball is a BIG deal in the Schumaker buy nolvadex and clomid uk house! He wrote the foreword in Sometimes You Win Sometimes You Learn which made it an even better book for me! In the foreword he wrote, “There is a marked difference between the people who learn from their losses and the people who do not. Do you want your spirit stuck in the infirmary, too battle weary for another try? Or do you want to seize the opportunity to study, evaluate, and reconsider what happened – and use that knowledge to arm yourself for another charge at life?”

When we are able to make that effort and look betrayal in the eye while saying, “I will grow from this,” we are disarming the powers of darkness and defeating the intent of the betrayer. We become victors. We keep hope alive. We believe that on the other side of this betrayal lies a healed heart and new found joy beyond what we can imagine.

When we look betrayal in the eye to say,'I will grow from this',we disarm the powers of darkness & defeat the intent of the betrayer Click To Tweet

So what does that effort look like? For me, it took diligence. Intentionality. Engaging deeply in His word. Reading. Counseling. Support. And lots of tears.

But I made it to the other side where the view is clear. And I wouldn’t change a day of it.

I believe you can make it there, too.

You can make it to where the view is clear. Where you can see the other side of betrayal and find what you learned.

Your story is unique and your learning equally unique. However, I believe there are some powerful lessons that may just be common to us all.

Lessons like …

  1. I can’t run from, hide from, or bully the betrayal.
  2. I don’t have to work for my worthiness.
  3. I don’t have to remain stuck in shame.
  4. I am stronger and more resilient than I ever realized.
  5. I can seize my own power.
  6. I can recognize a healthy relationship.
  7. I must work the root of bitterness out of my heart.
  8. I must set boundaries.
  9. I must acknowledge warning signs.
  10. I must allow others responsibility for themselves and their actions.
  11. I have the courage to respond outside of my default response.
  12. I have a new sense of compassion and empathy for others.
  13. I have a new set of guidelines and parameters to guide the choices of my life.
  14. I am victorious in Christ!

Think of these statements. Say them out loud for a moment! Really! Go in another room if you have to, but do it!

Did you?

Didn’t those statements sound STRONG? Empowering? Filled with HOPE?

Statements of Strength

 

This list is small. And I know you are warriors and have walked through the deep waters of betrayal gathering lessons and insights way beyond this list!  I would be honored to have you share those in the comments. Your story – your particular insight may be just the one God uses to speak into the life of another.

Your story may be just the one God uses to speak into the life of another. #statementsofstrength #tellyourstory #betrayal #hope Click To Tweet

Dear Jesus, Your promises are numerous and they are never unfulfilled. You love us beyond measure and promise to work all things together for the good of those who love You. Therefore we know that You will take our pain, our hurt, the betrayals that have threatened to stop us in our tracks, and work them together for a good. Lord, we ask You to be our strength and our wisdom as we walk through to the other side of this situation. Walk us through until we see the other side of the hurt. Until we see things clearly and learn the lessons You will use to make us who You want us to be.In Your Precious Name I pray. Amen.

Next week I’m talking about leaving the past in its place and looking to the future!  I’d love it if you joined me!

You can find my linking up to these encouraging blogs.

 

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50 Comments

  1. I totally resonate with your message today, Lori. In fact, that’s why I’m thankful for the “messiness” in my marriage, because God has used it to teach me many valuable lessons that I am compelled to share with others. What a blessing it becomes to be a part of God’s great redemption. Thank you for your inspiring words today. It is a blessing to my day, my friend.

    1. Welcome back, Beth! You truly are living proof of how, if we do the work, God will do great things with our messes. I love your work and am honored that you found inspiration here today!

  2. Lori, so many great points here. I frequently tell people who are in the midst of trials that, while they don’t believe it right now, there will come a point in time where they’ll be able to thank God for the trial. I loved the list of lessons! Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading some of the others in the series. Pinning this one so others can read it, as well. Blessings!

    1. Hi Donna, Thank you so much for visiting! I’m so glad you enjoyed the post. It is so difficult to wrap our understanding around those lessons when we are in the thick of the hurt, isn’t it? Thanks again and I look forward to connecting more in the future, too!

  3. To start ~ LOVE the blog. Tracie and Mandy do such a nice job and work together well. (I’m a little biased. They designed and implemented mine as well.) Secondly, you’ve written words of strength and wisdom. You had me at the very first verse from the Message. So glad you made it to the other side and are encouraging others to continue their journey.

    1. Hi Kristi, Thank you SO much! They are pretty awesome! When I first found them and looked in their gallery, I saw your blog and actually used it as an example of what I liked when communicating with the girls! And thank you, also, for the kind and encouraging words. I pray God uses my words for His glory!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  4. Lori, this is my first visit to your place, and it’s beautiful! It feels welcoming and warm. 🙂

    I so appreciate your post today. I haven’t dealt with some of the betrayal some of your readers have. Your words, “From the vantage point of today, I have a clearer view of the pain of my yesterdays.” The beauty of a clearer view is that we can often see God’s fingerprints in the midst of the pain. Thank you for sharing your wisdom from the other side.

    1. Hi Jeanne, I love that! “The beauty of a clearer view is that we can often see God’s fingerprints in the midst of the pain.” – beautiful!!!! Thank you so much for visiting today!
      I pray your day is abundantly blessed!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  5. I like your design. It looks magical.
    Lovely words as always.

    1. Hi Lux! I’m so glad you like it! Thank you, sweet friend!

  6. What a great word, Lori!

    It is so true that we gain and grow from the betrayal and the pain. Nothing else deeply affects us like these things, does it.

    I’m reading a book by Os Hillman called, “The Upside of Adversity.” Your post lines up so closely to the heart of this book.

    Don’t you love it when God speaks the same messages through many different means!

    Found your post on Women with Intention.
    Hope you have a blessed day~
    Melanie

    1. Hi Melanie,
      I DO love it when God does that! Sometimes, because I am oblivious and missing it, He has to speak it over and over and over again before I have that “Aha” moment! 🙂 I love Os Hillman. Maybe I will have to check it out sometime! Thank you so much for your visit. I truly appreciate it. I pray you have a blessed Thanksgiving next week!!

  7. Betrayal can be so painful. but we can grow from it and overcome it. Thank you for sharing. #JoyHopeLive

    1. Amen, Brittany! Thank you so much for taking the time to visit!

  8. Hi Lori!
    Visiting as your neighbor next door at Kelly Balarie. This is a beautiful site and it makes me think I need a button for mine!
    What you have written on betrayal is very sound and well done! I was a Christian Marriage and Family Therapist for almost 30 years and appreciate the wisdom of your words and encouragement.
    Grace and blessings,
    Pam

    1. Hi Pam,
      I truly appreciate your kind words! Having someone with your depth of experience appreciate my words, is a wonderful affirmation! Thank you! I am so glad we were neighbors and I can’t wait to stop by your blog to visit!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  9. betrayal often comes from someone who we trust and care about and that’s why it hurts so much. I’ve come to realize that it reflects the character of that person and although we are hurt by it and may take a long time to recover, ultimately we are in a place where we can hold our heads up and move on. Distancing ourselves from that “friend” is often a good idea too (why set yourself up for more pain?)

    1. Hi Leanne, Your words are so true. We can draw those boundaries, but still forgive and move on without bitterness eating at our soul! Thank you so much for visiting today!

  10. Congrats on the new blog design ~ it’s beautiful. I’ve admired these two ladies’ work all over the web; they do lovely work. ~ I stopped on this statement of yours and read it a few times: ” But today, that pain has become the glue that holds the soul of my story together.” What an interesting way to describe that. So true how pain seems to be the thing that give our stories depth and make us approachable to others. Everyone can relate to pain, ya know? Lovely post, thanks for sharing. ((blessings))

    1. Hi Brenda,
      Thank you! I’ve been doing research on the different designers over the last six months and kept finding Traci and Mandy at the top of my list over and over again! I’m so glad I went with them. They were so nice to work with!
      I am so glad you enjoyed this post. I feel now that the essence of who I am today has been built by the pain of yesterday. Like glue, it has, in essence, been the glue of that framework. Thank you so very much for stopping by to visit!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

  11. Lori, I love your affirmations at the end. Speaking them aloud is something I needed. Thank you for that. I am still in the learning process, but I believe “I have the courage to respond outside of my default response.” Of course the most important is “I am victorious in Christ!”

    I just love these, thank you for sharing your heart.

    1. Hi Ona, I am so thankful the affirmations were a help! I truly believe speaking things out loud has so much more power in our lives than merely thinking them! I will be praying for your journey and that you feel the full abundance of being victorious in Christ!

  12. I’m thankful I don’t have to face the pain and hurt alone. I thankful Jesus will take it and create something beautiful from it. Thank you for these beautiful words, Lori. Thanks for sharing with Thankful Thursdays.

    1. I had a conversation with a friend today who is struggling and at a spiritual low point.We talked about the sadness in our world can cause us to question God, but yet the thought of getting through it all without believing God is there would make me not know how to go on. Our hope is in Him, even when we question what He is doing. I am so thankful for my faith! Thank you, Lori, for stopping by and for hosting your wonderful link up each week! Happy Thanksgiving!!

  13. Lori,
    Thank you for showing us how you’ve learned from your losses and found victory in Christ…I am slowly learning to do the same, although we may not have experienced the same kind of losses…blessings to you and Happy Thanksgiving, early 🙂

    1. Hi Dolly, I am praying for you and believing in your victory in Christ! I think that whatever the loss or hurt may be, we can learn similar lessons. Thank you so much for visiting again. I love receiving your comments! Happy Thanksgiving to you, too!

  14. Beautiful words Lori! I love all the lessons learners.

    I am learning some of these myself..and it feels good to allow God to work out His best in my life!
    Thank you for linking up my friend!

    1. Learned.. Not learners lol…wish I could go back an edit lol. My typing was blocked…

    2. Thank you, Val,both for your kind comments and for hosting your link-up! I so love it when you stop by 🙂

  15. I love the new look, Lori! … I just want you to know that you always bless me, so today is no different. Your words here have truly resonated within my spirit. Incredible post, Love! Thank you so much for sharing! GOD bless you, beautiful friend! 🙂

    1. Hi Tai, You are so stinkin’ sweet! I am so thankful to know this post resonated with you. God is so good! Much love, my friend!Have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

  16. What a beautiful position of strength in Christ you are modeling for us here with your words. This takes a purposeful “setting of your face like flint,” I’m sure, and it’s a blessing to be reminded that this is the Christian life — fixing our eyes on truth because it’s what will last!

    1. Thank you so much, Michele! And AMEN! I have just been reminded of that again today – Truth is the only thing that will last! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, my friend!

  17. This is a great post, great topic. Betrayal is so difficult because it’s never a result of a relationship with an enemy, it comes from a relationship that is valuable to us. The hurt is deep and wide, and it takes time, thought, prayer to get through. Betrayal says so much more about the one who did the betraying than the one betrayed, but our hearts and minds take it so personally and it’s hard to separate the act from our worth. Thank God He is the one that sets our value, not man. But getting to this part after being hurt is a struggle.

    1. Nikki, You said this so perfectly. I agree with absolutely everything! Getting to that part is a struggle, but I am so thankful for the God who has a plan awaiting us on the other side. Thank you so much for coming back to visit. I just love when you do! Have a blessed Thanksgiving, my friend!

  18. Gorgeous site! And I immediately connected to your post. While I wouldn’t have chosen all the pain I lived through, God worked amazing goodness from it! Blessings!

    1. Hi Carrie, Thank you so much! I am enjoying it so much! It’s kind of like that feeling from cleaning out the closets and getting them all organized again! So refreshing! 🙂 I am thankful you connected with this post and I pray it blessed you! Have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

  19. It is true that betrayal hurts, especially if some one you trusted unconditionally is involved, but if one can learn something positive and useful from the experience, it often hurts less. Not easy, but not impossible. Thank you for this post, Lori.

    1. Hi Margaretha,
      Thank you so much for visiting and commenting 🙂 Have a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving!

  20. So many inspiring thoughts and quotes here to live by. Thank you for stopping by LTM and linking up to SWM. I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round of #sharewithme

    1. Hi Jenny, Thank you and I will be there! I don’t like to miss it ever 🙂

  21. Thanks for highlighting the good God brings from our pain and for joining us at the Literacy Musing Mondays linkup!

    1. Thank you for visiting, Leslie! And thank you for hosting Literacy Musing Mondays!
      Blessings and smiles,
      Lori

    1. Thanks so much, Mary! Traci and Mandy are the BEST!